Obama Steve lights bag, rings doorbell ~ DU does Bristol Stomp

[zeitgeist]

This is a very long thread which Omaha Steve has been pimping via several other threads.

Certain of its posters are quite probably part of Putin's famed "Red Brigade" of trollers.  Some are flirting with out right sedition.   

http://www.democraticunderground.com/1014971233

Star Member Omaha Steve (45,268 posts)
Union retirees: Don't cut my pension
Source: CNN

By Melanie Hicken

Aimed at saving some of the country's largest pension funds from the brink, the law will allow multiemployer pension plans that are projected to become insolvent in the next 10 to 20 years to cut the benefits of both current and future retirees.

By allowing the plans to cut benefits now, lawmakers say it will help keep around 150 pension funds from running out of money.

But retirees aren't exactly seeing it that way. Many gave up years of pay increases and contributed thousands of dollars from their salaries each year toward their promised pensions. As a result, many have little savings outside of their pension benefits and Social Security checks and are not sure how they'll make ends meet if the cuts go through.

"It's devastating," said 63-year-old Dave Scheidt, who retired five years ago after more than 30 years loading and unloading trucks. "We never dreamed that our pension wouldn't be there."

Related: Congress approves plan to allow pension cuts (@ link)

FULL story at link.

Dave Scheidt and his wife Becki worry that their pension benefits will be cut.

Read more: http://money.cnn.com/2014/12/22/retirement/pension-cut/ 

The original post is only part of a long thread in which Steve goes for a throw down show down and gets his weenie wacked off.  There is way too much good stuff to lug over all at once.

Here is one of his pimping threads which might have gotten at least a couple replies if he had gon with a better title for example:" Forty Years a Wage Slave" :

http://upload.democraticunderground.com/10246926

Omaha Steve (45,268 posts)

Forty Year Slump (on US wages needs attention in GD and a favor please)
 X post in Labor

Please comment on the slump at : http://www.democraticunderground.com/10026000749

There is a DUer (can't name s/he or get in trouble) that is arguing with 3 different pro union DUers. It won't be hard to figure out here: http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1014&pid=971233

Enjoy. 

If intercourse is conversation, then masterbation is just talking to yourself , 'ey Steve?   The DU'er who is 'arguing' with three pro's is doing yeoman's work while hoisting Steve on his on petard.   Truth vs half baked revisionist history for the win.

[tanstaafl]

Somehow, when Fat Steve posts, and cast a meek response within the same thread, I have this mental picture of a group of back-up singers with castinets doing a tap dance, shout "Look over there. Over there."

[GOBUCKS]

Isn't it about time for an update on the Big Guy's deathwatch?

He and the Cleveland ward heeler are in a race to eternity, but it's hard to handicap the competition without more information.

My money is on the ward heeler.

He should have been dead a year ago.

Sooner or later, after hundreds of ICU days on the public dole, a democrat death panel is going to notice his case.

The Big Guy is likely lying for attention and to soak the taxpayers for an early pension.

[zeitgeist]

Isn't it about time for an update on the Big Guy's deathwatch?

He and the Cleveland ward heeler are in a race to eternity, but it's hard to handicap the competition without more information.

My money is on the ward heeler.

He should have been dead a year ago.

Sooner or later, after hundreds of ICU days on the public dole, a democrat death panel is going to notice his case.

The Big Guy is likely lying for attention and to soak the taxpayers for an early pension.

I am not sure if he missed the DOTY rules and dates or if he his just feeling the long shadow of mortality being cast upon him but he had been very active posting about financial issues over there of late. 

He has been lighting campfires over there like a pyromaniac with a new box of kitchen matches.   Could it be his whole life policy is about to come to term?? <insurance pun there folk>   A lot of folk don't realize their 'employer paid term life insurance' ends when they retire.  Just a note Steve, sometimes a good financial check up by someone other than the shoe shine boy or local internet savant is as beneficial as one by a real medical doctor.  Web MD and Three Dollar Dewy's Stock Picker are free but you know what they say about 'free advice', right Steve?

[franksolich]

Could it be his whole life policy is about to come to term?? <insurance pun there folk>   A lot of folk don't realize their 'employer paid term life insurance' ends when they retire.

Oh, but that bothers the big guy not at all.

It's going to be Marta's problem, trying to find money on which to live.

He'll be dead; he won't care.

[zeitgeist]

Oh, but that bothers the big guy not at all.

It's going to be Marta's problem, trying to find money on which to live.

He'll be dead; he won't care.

Good point.   Do you think Skinner and friends will pitch in a few sawbuck for mini tacos for the wake??

[BlueStateSaint]

Good point.   Do you think Skinner and friends will pitch in a few sawbuck for mini tacos for the wake??

 
 
 
 

Does that answer your question?

[BattleHymn]

I hate to be morbid, but I'm worried that Marta is going to have to come up with some extra money when Steve finally goes to the big catbird seat in the sky.  He's huge-- so much to the point that I doubt he would fit into the same sized casket as a good and decent person.  The last time I talked to a funeral director regarding the burying of the morbidly obese, she stressed the necessity of  getting a properly sized casket, as they aren't "made out of bronze, and the sides can flex to where you cannot close the lid". 

Again, an open casket wouldn't be a problem for a normal sized good and decent person, but Steve is the exception to the rule.  According to the funeral director I spoke with, a person of Steve's size will generally use between 2-4 times the amount of embalming fluid over what a normal person needs.  Even with the extra fluid, it doesn't make it to the adipose tissue very well, and so extra makeup would be required to keep old Steve looking fresh.  There may be the necessity to contract Steve's embalming out to a company outside the funeral home, as he won't last as long waiting to get stiffened up as a normal person.     

There are countless other things that Steve is going to unfairly saddle Marta with when he finally kicks the big taco, and I hope that Steve has had the consideration to make sure Marta is well-cared for in this aspect.  I've done some reading on my own, and the only silver lining in the entire ordeal I have posted from an excerpt from the Goliath Casket Company's website: 

Remember, the family does not have a clue about all the Herculean effort you have gone through to provide closure and a celebration of life.  You will be dealing with the same emotions, hurts, and frustrations of any family.  There is one big difference however.  Your family will know that their loved one was big.  They probably already understand that this is a special situation.  They will understand why you had to have the service in the high school gym.  They will understand that you will need a flat bed trailer to transport the casket.  They will understand why there is a backhoe instead of a vault truck.

http://www.oversizecasket.com/funeralprofessional.html

I can't imagine a more fitting place for Steve's service to be held than in the high school girl's gymnasium, where he wiled away countless hours perched high up in the bleachers in a trench coat with a pair of binoculars.

[landofconfusion80]

....or.... he could go out in a blaze of... ummmm.....hmmm..... glory?

http://www.nbc12.com/story/26737161/500-lb-body-causes-fire-at-henrico-crematory

[Karin]

I think cremation is the way to go.  Cheaper too.  And think of the poor pallbearers! 

[landofconfusion80]

And think of the poor pallbearers!

[BattleHymn]

I wonder if that is what Steve's catbird seat that Gobucks is always referring to looked like.

[thundley4]

I wonder if that is what Steve's catbird seat that Gobucks is always referring to looked like.

For some of the DU inhabitants, that might be considered a sex aid. 

[GOBUCKS]

I wonder if that is what Steve's catbird seat that Gobucks is always referring to looked like.

Though I've never seen it, it must be similar.

But remember, he spent years riding back and forth over that gigantic steaming vat of incoming raw sewage.

The seat would surely become discolored from exposure to the fumes.

[thundley4]

Though I've never seen it, it must be similar.

But remember, he spent years riding back and forth over that gigantic steaming vat of incoming raw sewage.

The seat would surely become discolored from exposure to the fumes.

The gases from the sewage probably damaged it some, too.

[Big Dog]

I think cremation is the way to go. 

On that day, all of Bellevue will smell like a pig roast. The smell will draw stray dogs from all over Sarpy County.

[Big Dog]

 
 
 

Does that answer your question?

And yet, I am confident that a box of mini-tacos and a sympathy card will be delivered to Marta's doorstep.

<<-- As confident as confident can be.

[zeitgeist]

And yet, I am confident that a box of mini-tacos and a sympathy card will be delivered to Marta's doorstep.

<<-- As confident as confident can be.

And that would be written the Widow Dawes in olden days. 

[Big Dog]

And that would be written the Widow Dawes in olden days.

As it is written, so shall it be done.

 

[franksolich]

http://www.oversizecasket.com/funeralprofessional.html

That is hilarious, and even more so because they're utterly serious.

It appears the big guy would cause a problem being cremated, even.

[GOBUCKS]

That is hilarious, and even more so because they're utterly serious.

It appears the big guy would cause a problem being cremated, even.

A

The Big Guy and Marta have a bizarre fascination with cemeteries, ghost hunting, and other paranormal horseshit.

A suitably bizarre solution for disposing of the Big Guy's carcass might be taxidermy.

Marta could charge tourists a buck a head to take a peek at him.

It could supplement her meager income from her job at the bank, and improve the dire straits she's left in by the Big Guy's spend, spend, spend lifestyle.

I'm not sure about the legalities, but where there's a will there's a way.

[franksolich]

The Big Guy and Marta have a bizarre fascination with cemeteries, ghost hunting, and other paranormal horseshit.

A suitably bizarre solution for disposing of the Big Guy's carcass might be taxidermy.

Marta could charge tourists a buck a head to take a peek at him.

It could supplement her meager income from her job at the bank, and improve the dire straits she's left in by the Big Guy's spend, spend, spend lifestyle.

I'm not sure about the legalities, but where there's a will there's a way.

It never once occurred to me that someone might be too large to be cremated.

[Big Dog]

It never once occurred to me that someone might be too large to be cremated.

Marta may have trouble finding a taxidermist who can stuff the Big Guy. Elk are the largest native game animals in the Cornhusker state, so it wouldn't be practical for a taxidermist to invest in Omaha Steve- sized impedimentia.

[franksolich]

Marta may have trouble finding a taxidermist who can stuff the Big Guy. Elk are the largest native game animals in the Cornhusker state, so it wouldn't be practical for a taxidermist to invest in Omaha Steve- sized impedimentia.

Do you suppose his mortal remains can be jammed down through one of those abandoned missile silos out here?  They're around, but I've never paid attention to them.  Maybe their openings aren't large enough?

[BattleHymn]

Marta may have trouble finding a taxidermist who can stuff the Big Guy. Elk are the largest native game animals in the Cornhusker state, so it wouldn't be practical for a taxidermist to invest in Omaha Steve- sized impedimentia.

I'm not so sure taxidermy would be the best solution for Marta.  From The Authentic Animal: Inside the Odd and Obsessive World of Taxidermy:

Another reason for freeze-drying is that it outperforms taxidermy at re-creating a pet’s original form. Pets are fat animals, as a rule. They’re well fed and comfortable. It’s very difficult to re-create this layer of fatty tissue when you sculpt a bodyform over which to drape the skin. Freeze-drying requires no bodyform. The animal is its own bodyform.

Of course we all know that Steve isn't a pet, but we do know that he carries around a lot of extra adipose tissue.