Congratulations! to
NYC_SKP, winner of the eighth spot in the Top Ten DUmmies of 2014.
Merry Christmas, Skippy! Ho ho ho…..
Skippy’s been a non-entity in the Top DUmmie awards, slowly emerging from the dark muddied morass of Skins’s island as the #18 Top DUmmie of 2013, last year.
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How he managed to do that, I’ll get to in a minute, but first:
Skippy’s 57, 58 years old, single, and lives north of Sacramento, California, where he enjoys a handsome paycheck and generous taxpayer-paid benefits, as a desk-sitting governmental bureaucrat, sometimes a teacher.
Skippy grew up near where he lives, on an asparagus farm owned by his grandfather. Sadly, Skippy’s father deserted Skippy’s mother and her children, and they had to go live with her parents, who were honest but poor folk.
However, all did not go badly for Skippy; he was surrounded by all these decent and civilized hard-working people who loved and cherished him, dedicating many of their meager resources to help him develop character and principles.
Skippy got one of the best educations possible; first, in a two-room two-teacher rural schoolhouse, which prepared him for acceptance into one of the premier engineering colleges in America, on a full-ride scholarship.
There’s no doubt that Skippy’s bright; in fact, he’s probably the highest IQed primitive on Skins’s island.
Earlier this year, unfortunately Skippy suffered a cerebral aneurysm, and had to have a hole drilled in his skull.
One notices subtle changes and a slight diminuition in intelligence, but he’s still an Albert Einstein when compared with his fellow primitives. Most of us would need some professional help building a suitcase nuclear bomb; Skippy’s still got the brains and know-how to do it all by himself with one eye shut and one hand tied behind his back.
He’s truly dangerous, perhaps the most dangerous primitive around; the other primitives are simply ridiculous, but Skippy poses a real and present danger to our liberties and freedoms, to our very lives.
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For reasons which might, or might not, be obvious, I won’t bother describing his personality, his causes, his peccadillos, his paranoia, in this award…..other than mentioning that the guy is badly in need, like Atman, of the services of a wardrobe consultant.
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So then, how was it that Skippy managed to spring out of nowhere, becoming one of the stellar comedic attractions in the DUmpster?
One fine spring evening nearly two years ago, I was sitting at the computer, minding my own business and at peace with the world and all in it, when suddenly a message arrived, from a primitive source on Skins’s island.
“Hey, have you seen what this guy’s saying about you?â€
I checked.
NYC_SKP (47,771 posts) Thu Mar 28, 2013, 04:08 PM
17. Ask me how stupid Conservative Cave dwellers are.....
Answer, they are so stupid that when they posted the name changes some of us made in 2009...
http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php?topic=21083.30;wap2
They fell for my joke sigline:
NorCalDem ............. Bush in Berkeley
Norrin Radd ............. Progs Rock
NYC_SKP ............. Name Removed
Nye Bevan ............. MathGuy
Obamanaut ............. usnret88
Obamarama ............. KzooDem
You had to be there, and if you had you'd know that namechangers got a red notice telling others what their former name was, and "Name Removed" was what was left when a reply was removed.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1018348745Actually, Skippy posted the wrong link; it’s
“primitive name changes for 2009â€
http://conservativecave.com/index.php?topic=21813- - - - - - - - - -
What irked me so much about this was not his pointing out an error, but his excessively bad manners in the way he did it.
Few things irk me more than bad manners; there‘s never a need to be rude.
Now, if my good pal Manny, the “MannyGoldstein†primitive, had spotted the mistake, he would’ve said something along the lines of “Wow! all these names, and franksolich made only
one mistake.
“That’s awesomely remarkable, a negligible error-rate, only
one mistake, out of
thousands of possible mistakes.â€
But my good pal Manny, bless his heart, knows how to win friends and influence people, while Skippy doesn’t know shit about tact and diplomacy; he’s got about as much
finesse and adroitness as a rock.
If Skippy wanted a
jihad, well, he got a
jihad, going from a little-mentioned obscure PonP (primitive of non-prominence), one of the
lumpenunterprimitiven, part of the faceless lynch mob, to becoming one of the top stars in the DUmpster.
It’s been brutal; whenever I’ve seen a frenzied-eyed Islamacist walking around waving a scimitar, I’ve quickly turned around and gone the other way, lest he be one of Skippy’s pals stalking franksolich.
As skinny as this neck is, it’d take just one “swish†of the blade, and franksolich is in two pieces.
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Congratulations and merry Christmas, Skippy!