primitive can't find car battery

[franksolich]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/1205526

Oh my.

jambo101 (512 posts)    Fri Aug 29, 2014, 07:10 AM

Cant find the battery

Friend of mine is in the hospital long term and asked if he could park his late 90s Impala in my driveway. OK no problem, i've been starting it a couple of times a month to keep the battery charged however this week it seems the battery is totally dead. first thing i want to check is the battery contact terminals and make sure they are clean,problem is i cant find the battery

Its the 3800 v6 motor and looks a lot like this.

after which photograph of an automobile engine

liberal N proud (47,773 posts)    Fri Aug 29, 2014, 07:23 AM

1. In the trunk, under the back seat or...

Some cars have them located behind the front bumper.

edgineered (708 posts)    Fri Aug 29, 2014, 08:22 AM

2. You don't need to access the battery to charge or jump start.

Look at the photo (in your case the car). See the the black box to the left? On the bottom of it is the ground wire. The red wire on top is the positive. Make your hook up there.
 
on edit - the battery is right there too! down a little lower and more to the front. it is a side post type.

jambo101 (512 posts)   Fri Aug 29, 2014, 09:58 AM

4. Lets try that again.

I just took a pic of the engine bay, seems its a I-3100 motor,still no sign of that battery.

after which a photograph of a different automobile engine

edgineered (708 posts)   Fri Aug 29, 2014, 12:14 PM

5. Ah, this is a different car and/or motor. I'm looking. . . tick, tick, tick . . .

Basically we are looking for a red plastic cap, usually has a + stamped on it, but not seeing it. I'll keep looking during lunch.

edgineered (708 posts)    Fri Aug 29, 2014, 12:19 PM

6. It looks like the positive post on the alternator is accessible.

The gauge of wire on that post would be too small for jump starting, but you could easily charge from there. Also try following that wire to either a junction box or fuse box, that's where it would tie in. What car/year is this that we are looking at? I'm only here for a little while now, but will be back tonight if you aren't here now.
 
edit to add - viewing an unrelated video regarding that car showed the battery beneath and forward of the coolant reservoir, passenger side, near the headlight, and fairly low.

jambo101 (512 posts)    Fri Aug 29, 2014, 02:25 PM

7. Heres a pic of the car.

after which a photograph of a car

after which a second photograph of the same car

Looks like to get to the battery some disassembly is in order, if it were my car i'd let the scrapyard figure it out.

jambo101 (512 posts)    Fri Aug 29, 2014, 07:51 PM

8. Update

Its a 99 lumina and to access the battery to clean the terminals one must follow this procedure..
 
How do you access a battery in a 1999 Chevrolet Lumina?
The battery is located on the driver's side of the vehicle, behind the headlight. You'll need to remove the cross-bar (2 bolts on the front, one in the back). Next, you'll need to remove the windshield-washer reservoir (small lag screw in the back, a couple of plastic pins). Don't forget the electrical connector on the back of the reservoir. The battery should be exposed at this point.

This is why i drive a Toyota..

edgineered (708 posts)    Fri Aug 29, 2014, 08:30 PM

9. Well don't junk it.

I've had cars a lot worse than this. The battery is almost certainly beneath the cover just forward of the right wheel well, beneath the fuse block. Depending on how the cover is attached you will either need a phillips or straight screwdriver or a small socket (guessing 8 mm).
 
It is easy to see why this is a pain for you, not your car, a mile and a half away from an electrical outlet even if you did have a charger, and if you can get the cover off you'll need to find a set of jumper cables and someone to help. Depending on whether you have some wire laying around and another vehicle available you may be able to run a few amps into the dead battery for an hour or so through a bridged connection. It is best not to discuss that here so pm me and I'll try to help with some back-yard tricks.

jambo101 (512 posts)   Wed Sep 3, 2014, 04:07 AM

10. If it were my car

I'd go to the trouble of fixing it if i wanted to continue to drive it however this car has been so neglected and has so many other problems that its overdue for the scrapyard,The only reason he keeps this piece of junk is he's to cheap to buy a newer car and he's got free parking for as long as he remains in convalescence.

[I_B_Perky]

Dummie gets on the dump and asks where the battery is. Dummie could have googled it and had the info in 1/100th of the time. 

And this is a member of the bestest mostest smartest people on the internet. And they call us stupid.

Sheesh.

[Carl]

A Lumina was Chevys attempt to build a Ford. 

[I_B_Perky]

A Lumina was Chevys attempt to build a Ford. 

Ford = Freaking Old Rebuilt Dodge.   

[SVPete]

Dummie gets on the dump and asks where the battery is. Dummie could have googled it and had the info in 1/100th of the time. 

And this is a member of the bestest mostest smartest people on the internet. And they call us stupid.

Sheesh.

Or maybe look in the glove box for the Owner's Manual?

[Delmar]

jambo101 (512 posts)    Fri Aug 29, 2014, 07:10 AM

Cant find the battery

Did you look in the glove box, you dumb ass?

[Chris_]

herp derp kar battry   

Thanks for the laugh.

[GOBUCKS]

The DUmmy asked thousands of his fellow DUmpmonkeys a question at 7:10AM.

He got the answer at 7:51PM.

It only took the DUmp 12 hours and 41 minutes to locate the battery in a Chevrolet.

[FlaGator]

So they know everything that went on in the Bush Administration but the can't find a battery in an old Chevy...

[ColonelCarrots]

They need to buy more headlight fluid and elbow grease.

[DUmpsterDiver]

Roll it in Aluminum powder and look for the sparks.

[ChuckJ]

jambo101 (512 posts)    Fri Aug 29, 2014, 07:10 AM

Cant find the battery

Friend of mine is in the hospital long term and asked if he could park his late 90s Impala in my driveway. OK no problem, i've been starting it a couple of times a month to keep the battery charged however this week it seems the battery is totally dead. first thing i want to check is the battery contact terminals and make sure they are clean,problem is i cant find the battery

Its the 3800 v6 motor and looks a lot like this.

jambo101 (512 posts)   Fri Aug 29, 2014, 09:58 AM

4. Lets try that again.

I just took a pic of the engine bay, seems its a I-3100 motor,still no sign of that battery.

jambo101 (512 posts)    Fri Aug 29, 2014, 02:25 PM

7. Heres a pic of the car.


Looks like to get to the battery some disassembly is in order, if it were my car i'd let the scrapyard figure it out.

Unless jambo’s driveway is a parking lot there’s something fishy going on here.

And by fishy I mean something other than the fact that jambo is too stupid to read the word "LUMINA" on the car it has supposedly been starting for at least a month.

[Chris_]

I'm looking at the picture provided, and it is clearly visible on the left side.

I bet this guy has a Masters degree.  You can always spot the educated ones.

[JohnnyReb]

I'm looking at the picture provided, and it is clearly visible on the left side.

I bet this guy has a Masters degree.  You can always spot the educated ones.

"Educated but stupid"....like "Fake but accurate"

[BlueStateSaint]

"Educated but stupid"....like "Fake but accurate"

As knowledge trickles in one ear, common sense floods out the other.

[JohnnyReb]

Pedal cars have batteries ?????????????

[DumbAss Tanker]

And these are the guys that are going to clean our clocks when Der Tag comes.  It is to laugh.

 

[Big Dog]

And these are the guys that are going to clean our clocks when Der Tag comes.  It is to laugh.

 

As long as they don't have to do do anything requiring the smallest bit of common sense, problem solving, or critical thinking, they will be unstoppable!

[diesel driver]

Ford = Freaking Old Rebuilt Dodge.   

.

Speaking of Dodges, at least Chevy put the battery in the engine compartment.  Dodge Stratus' had them behind the front fender liner.  "Jacking up the car and removing the front tire" is part of the battery replacement procedure.  I've actually had to replace a battery on a Stratus whose driver hit a curb while parking and cracked the battery.

The only cars I've heard of putting the battery in the trunk were the POS European models like Volkswagen and BMW.  Older Beatles had them under the back seat.

And these are the guys that are going to clean our clocks when Der Tag comes.  It is to laugh.

 

Remove the battery wires, and they'll never leave their driveways.   

[miskie]

I'm familiar with that engine - the 2001 Pontiac Montana I used to own had its battery in a similar place.

Its a total pain in the ass to get to.

Its behind the headlight. You'll need to remove a couple of other things to get to it first. A support strut in the corner of the front frame, the washer fluid reservoir. You might need to move the fresh air intake hose as well.

Larger GM 'luxury' vehicles of the same era tend to hide the battery under the back seat. - and honestly, those are far easier to access. -Grab the back seat where it meets with the seat back, pull it up and flip it forward. 

[GOBUCKS]

Back in the day, I had a Pontiac Catalina that required you to cut a hole in the right front wheel well to remove and replace the blower motor. Then you had to attach a piece of sheet metal with screws to cover the hole.

[Ptarmigan]

There is something called a manual. Use it. A battery would be easy to recognize.

[freedumb2003b]

There is something called a manual. Use it. A battery would be easy to recognize.

Renting cars a lot, I do have to say they stash batteries in the weirdest places these days.  And the manual is almost never in the car.  A few weeks ago I had to go online to find the battery on I think what was a Toyota FJ -- IIRC, the positive battery post we on the upper lft and the negative was almost under the engine block. 

And I still remember seeing my first VW bug with the battery both reverse polarized AND under the back seat.

[JohnnyReb]

Renting cars a lot, I do have to say they stash batteries in the weirdest places these days.  And the manual is almost never in the car.  A few weeks ago I had to go online to find the battery on I think what was a Toyota FJ -- IIRC, the positive battery post we on the upper lft and the negative was almost under the engine block. 

And I still remember seeing my first VW bug with the battery both reverse polarized AND under the back seat.

IH farm and heavy equipment used to use a positive ground....why? I don't know.

[Ptarmigan]

Renting cars a lot, I do have to say they stash batteries in the weirdest places these days.  And the manual is almost never in the car.  A few weeks ago I had to go online to find the battery on I think what was a Toyota FJ -- IIRC, the positive battery post we on the upper lft and the negative was almost under the engine block. 

And I still remember seeing my first VW bug with the battery both reverse polarized AND under the back seat.

Why put car batteries in strange places?