Government publishes detailed instructions on how to safely roast marshmallows

[Chris_]

Government publishes detailed instructions on how to safely roast marshmallows

The U.S. Forest Service on Friday published a nearly 700-word article on how to safely roast marshmallows, all in preparation for Saturday, which is National Roasted Marshmallow Day.

As one might expect, the article is riddled with safety tips that might make you think twice about even carrying matches into the forest at all, let alone actually igniting a marshmallow and putting your family’s life at risk.

And if a whole marshmallow is a little too much for your overweight kids, the article suggests scrapping the whole idea of roasting marshmallows, and instead using marshmallow creme out of a jar.

The Blaze

Can you imagine coming into work and being asked to write this?  I think I'd be looking for another job.

[JohnnyReb]

Government worker making something simple difficult so as to justify his job and high salary.

Stack wood, strike match, poke marsh mellow with stick, roast.....10 words.

[thundley4]

I'm surprised that it was only 700 words and not 700 pages.

[SVPete]

But ... but ... think of all those people burned to death by molten marshmallows!

[Dori]

More government waste.  I bet we could cut have the crap they do and no one would even notice.

[Ralph Wiggum]

I'm surprised that it was only 700 words and not 700 pages.

Same here.

Also surprised that Moochelle would allow marshmellows to be referred to at all.  Bad for you, dontcha know...what about broccoli and brussel sprouts or something healthier?

Maybe I shouldn't be giving them any ideas.

[Ptarmigan]

I'm surprised that it was only 700 words and not 700 pages.

700 words is excessive for that right there.

[DumbAss Tanker]

Government worker making something simple difficult so as to justify his job and high salary.

Stack wood, strike match, poke marsh mellow with stick, roast.....10 words.

Nah, somebody wrote that because his boss told him to, and his boss told him to because some shithead's shithead kid will get burned screwing it up, then the shithead family will hire a sleazeball personal-injury attorney and sue the Feds over it...and so they publish all this shit so as to forestall the whole problem of idiots and fire, and to help with the defense in case they manage to f*** it up anyway.

[Alaska Slim]

Reminds me of when I wrote a Technical Manuel for making a PBJ. Got an "A" on that assignment, would have to give the Government an "F". For everything.