primitive puts a homeless guy on a bus, sends him away

[franksolich]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10024985887

Oh my.

redwitch (10,611 posts)    Thu May 22, 2014, 11:24 AM

Just home from putting a young man on a bus.

He is on his way to be homeless in a small NE city. Showed up at our front door two days ago, hadn't seen him in 12 years, he is 27 and was a childhood friend of our son. I'll call him John Doe. Within 24 hours of his being here we had found him a summer job at a retreat center, he could stay with us but there were a few rules. The retreat wanted a background check and for him to go to the county social services agency to get hooked up with whatever services they could provide. He decided against that route and wanted to travel on. Mental illness involved, he also asked my husband yesterday morning if he could make himself a vodka tonic. At 10 AM.
 
We knew it wasn't going to work out and I admit to feeling relief when he told me he wanted to leave. We drove him to a bus stop that would get him to where he was going. Sent him off with a list of shelters, free community lunches, clinic for basic medical and dental, a Subway gift card, small Visa gift card and $40 cash. And a bag of fruit and snacks.
 
He has been homeless for about a year and a half. Obviously needs mental help but has had opportunities that he has turned down repeatedly. His family gave up on him over a decade ago and I wish with all my heart they had not.
 
I feel so emotionally drained, I wish we could have done more for him.

Frustratedlady (9,415 posts)    Thu May 22, 2014, 11:28 AM

1. Those mental health hospitals that Reagan closed...

should be opened. Perhaps not as many as there were, but more than are available now.
 
You did what you could, which was more than most people would do. I hope the gesture was enough to turn him down a different path.

Hmmmm.

Reagan was president 1977-1981?

My history books must be wrong.

redwitch (10,611 posts)    Thu May 22, 2014, 11:33 AM

6. He showed up at our door once before when he was 14.

He had run away from home. We fed him ( he was starving, hadn't eaten in 3 days ), and we gave him a bed for the night. Called his parents the next morning and his dad came to get him. After that his parents enrolled him in a high school military academy. He ran away from there, worst place they could have put him. His parents are really cold people and when his illness manifested itself when he hit puberty they got frustrated very quickly.

djean111 (3,161 posts)    Thu May 22, 2014, 11:31 AM

3. I don't see how you could have done any more for him!

The only other option, as far as I can see, would have been to have him committed to some sort of mental help facility against his will, which might have made his mental condition even worse.

You really did help him as much as humanly possible, you are good people.

redwitch (10,611 posts)    Thu May 22, 2014, 11:47 AM

11. I always feel like more could have been done.

But the fact of the matter is the effort had to come from him and he just couldn't do it. We couldn't have had him committed I don't think. And unless there is major support system in place for when he got out we are right back to square one. Just more drained emotionally and financially. We have major financial stress as it is and couldn't afford to add him to our family, we are barely getting by. I haven't slept well the last 2 nights, need to make peace with myself, send him loving thoughts and move forward.
 
He is so vulnerable and I know there are thousands more like him wandering without the proper tools to do more than survive.
 
Just getting through the average day deserves a brass band and a big hooray for the average person who doesn't have his problems.
 
Today is our wedding anniversary. Normally I would make a sumptuous meal ( can't afford to eat out at nice restaurants these days) and buy champagne. I have never felt less like champagne that I do today.

nadinbrzezinski (133,985 posts)    Thu May 22, 2014, 11:31 AM

4. The problem is the way the system works

These stories are way too common. We really cannot force intervention until these people become a threat to themselves or others in an obvious way.

^^^needs intervention forced upon, preferably by her husband, as she's out of control.

And here's Ms. Hindenberg:

Warpy (76,387 posts)    Thu May 22, 2014, 11:33 AM

5. There was no more you could have done

The cash and Visa will go to alcohol, which he uses to self medicate his mental health issues. Chances are he needs the alcohol and will go into DTs if it's withheld too long. Untreated DTs, which his will be, are 50% fatal.
 
He's living the way he wants to and is doing the best he can with the illness he has.
 
You gave him something he doesn't have all that often these days: choices.

You couldn't have done any more because no one will back you up with it. There are no places to put people with mental health problems to dry them out and put them on meds that will actually work because they were shut down in the 60s-80s and the mental health facilities in the community were never funded and failed to materialize.

redwitch (10,611 posts)    Thu May 22, 2014, 11:38 AM

7. The cops picked him up early January.

He was walking the streets of Albany, NY in the freezing cold and snow. They took him to a hospital to be checked and he was evaluated, given 3 medications and prescriptions for more. Of course he had no money to pay for the new prescriptions so he was right back to where he started. I commend those officers for getting him to the hospital and then to an emergency shelter.

Warpy (76,387 posts)    Thu May 22, 2014, 11:47 AM

12. There were always cracks in the system

but now they've turned into chasms and the mentally ill are the first to fall through them.
 
A too narrow definition of "harm to oneself or others" is partly to blame. It needs to be widened considerably.

But if the definition were "widened considerably," the cousin wouldn't be able to waddle the streets of San Diego any more.

[JohnnyReb]

The American Communist Lawyers Union and democrat court system emptied the nut houses and put the crazies back on the street.

NOT REAGAN....DUmmies.

[GOBUCKS]

The guy isn't homeless, he's "mainstreamed".

It's what the 70s-80s moonbats, with huge majorities in Congress, demanded - "mainstreaming".

It's why we have bums selling bum newspapers in the median strip.

It's why winos are sleeping underneath bridges and crapping in doorways.

It's why public schools are strangled by "special needs".

When democrats started to see what a catastrophe their "mainstreaming" was, they started to blame it on the greatest president in American history.

[Tucker]

The American Communist Lawyers Union and democrat court system emptied the nut houses and put the crazies back on the street.

NOT REAGAN....DUmmies.

They followed castro's lead with his 1980 cuban flotilla where he emptied the hospitals of retards and the prisons of thugs.

[Gina]

Enabler.

[Karin]

When democrats started to see what a catastrophe their "mainstreaming" was, they started to blame it on the greatest president in American history.

They try to do this all the time, and I call them out on it whenever I can. 

[Carl]

If the hopelessly mentally ill were all locked up then the DUmp would have to close down and Skins would need a real job.

[vesta111]

Enabler.

So true Gina, problem is the family members that enable a member to become self distructive, feel sorry for them and blame all their problems on others in the family.

It gets bad when the family member has children they cannot feed, cloth or care for.  Some family member will give them money for their children and the reciever will take the money with out a thank you and head out to buy drugs or booze, the kids never see a penny of the money.

One sees this happening in their family and trys to jack up whoever is enabeling the contuned bad behavior and they refuse to believe they have been taken by a con man or woman. 

[Chris_]

Out of sight, out of mind.

[BlondeMoment]

They try to do this all the time, and I call them out on it whenever I can.

Yes. And doesn't mean a word of it. It's all for show.

[I_B_Perky]

    redwitch (10,611 posts)    Thu May 22, 2014, 11:24 AM

    Just home from putting a young man on a bus.

    He is on his way to be homeless in a small NE city. Showed up at our front door two days ago, hadn't seen him in 12 years, he is 27 and was a childhood friend of our son. I'll call him John Doe. Within 24 hours of his being here we had found him a summer job at a retreat center, he could stay with us but there were a few rules. The retreat wanted a background check and for him to go to the county social services agency to get hooked up with whatever services they could provide. He decided against that route and wanted to travel on. Mental illness involved, he also asked my husband yesterday morning if he could make himself a vodka tonic. At 10 AM.
     
    We knew it wasn't going to work out and I admit to feeling relief when he told me he wanted to leave. We drove him to a bus stop that would get him to where he was going. Sent him off with a list of shelters, free community lunches, clinic for basic medical and dental, a Subway gift card, small Visa gift card and $40 cash. And a bag of fruit and snacks.
     
    He has been homeless for about a year and a half. Obviously needs mental help but has had opportunities that he has turned down repeatedly. His family gave up on him over a decade ago and I wish with all my heart they had not.
     
    I feel so emotionally drained, I wish we could have done more for him.

Anybody seen Loconuts lately?