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Author Topic: Trials of crazy Aunt in N.E.  (Read 2903 times)

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Offline vesta111

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Trials of crazy Aunt in N.E.
« on: April 14, 2014, 12:45:33 PM »
It is freaking gorgeous out, temp in mid 70's.

Days like this after a long winter I tend to forget I am an old lady. 

I checked out the back, no one sitting on their roof or in a tree and prepared my deck so I could get a good sun soaking.

Got out my thong and robe then searched high and low for sun tan oil-----None to be had but I did have a spray bottle of Pam cooking oil.

I gave myself a good spray, unfortunately it was the butter flavor and the cats and dogs all wanted to lick my legs.

I got out of the house and lay down in the wonderful heat only to doze off now and then awaking up to kick off the cats and dogs that would sneak up to get in a lick or two.

My dog started barking and I heard a loud clunk behind me, sitting up to see the man delivering my propane watching me.

What to do, I put my robe on, wished him a good day and my first day of spring ended after perhaps an hour.  Hot sun and cool wind, perfect day.



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Offline JohnnyReb

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Re: Trials of crazy Aunt in N.E.
« Reply #1 on: April 14, 2014, 12:51:06 PM »
 :picsneeded:     

Well, somebody was bound to ask.
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“The American people will never knowingly adopt socialism. But, under the name of ‘liberalism’, they will adopt every fragment of the socialist program, until one day America will be a socialist nation, without knowing how it happened.” - Norman Thomas, U.S. Socialist Party presidential candidate 1940, 1944 and 1948

"America is like a healthy body and its resistance is threefold: its patriotism, its morality, and its spiritual life. If we can undermine these three areas, America will collapse from within."  Stalin

Offline Dori

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Re: Trials of crazy Aunt in N.E.
« Reply #2 on: April 14, 2014, 01:23:15 PM »
Vesta, you crack me up... :rofl:
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Offline wasp69

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Re: Trials of crazy Aunt in N.E.
« Reply #3 on: April 14, 2014, 01:25:07 PM »
Quote from: vesta111 on April 14, 2014, 12:45:33 PM
It is freaking gorgeous out, temp in mid 70's.

Days like this after a long winter I tend to forget I am an old lady. 

I checked out the back, no one sitting on their roof or in a tree and prepared my deck so I could get a good sun soaking.

Got out my thong and robe then searched high and low for sun tan oil-----None to be had but I did have a spray bottle of Pam cooking oil.

I gave myself a good spray, unfortunately it was the butter flavor and the cats and dogs all wanted to lick my legs.

I got out of the house and lay down in the wonderful heat only to doze off now and then awaking up to kick off the cats and dogs that would sneak up to get in a lick or two.

My dog started barking and I heard a loud clunk behind me, sitting up to see the man delivering my propane watching me.

What to do, I put my robe on, wished him a good day and my first day of spring ended after perhaps an hour.  Hot sun and cool wind, perfect day.

So, let me get this straight:  You were sunbathing in a thong, topless, slathered in cooking oil?
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"We make men without chests and expect of them virtue and enterprise. We laugh at honor and are shocked to find traitors in our midst. We castrate and then bid the geldings to be fruitful."

C.S. Lewis

A community may possess all the necessary moral qualifications, in so high a degree, as to be capable of self-government under the most adverse circumstances; while, on the other hand, another may be so sunk in ignorance and vice, as to be incapable of forming a conception of liberty, or of living, even when most favored by circumstances, under any other than an absolute and despotic government.

John C Calhoun, "Disquisition on Government", 1840

Offline JohnnyReb

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Re: Trials of crazy Aunt in N.E.
« Reply #4 on: April 14, 2014, 01:27:01 PM »
Quote from: wasp69 on April 14, 2014, 01:25:07 PM
So, let me get this straight:  You were sunbathing in a thong, topless, slathered in cooking oil?
That's what she said.....and I was thinking the same thing :lmao:
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“The American people will never knowingly adopt socialism. But, under the name of ‘liberalism’, they will adopt every fragment of the socialist program, until one day America will be a socialist nation, without knowing how it happened.” - Norman Thomas, U.S. Socialist Party presidential candidate 1940, 1944 and 1948

"America is like a healthy body and its resistance is threefold: its patriotism, its morality, and its spiritual life. If we can undermine these three areas, America will collapse from within."  Stalin

Offline Zathras

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Re: Trials of crazy Aunt in N.E.
« Reply #5 on: April 14, 2014, 01:28:30 PM »
Quote from: wasp69 on April 14, 2014, 01:25:07 PM
So, let me get this straight:  You were sunbathing in a thong, topless, slathered in cooking oil?

And then the delivery man shows up?

BOW CHICKA BOW WOW!!!! :naughty:
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Offline njpines

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Re: Trials of crazy Aunt in N.E.
« Reply #6 on: April 14, 2014, 01:38:47 PM »
Quote from: wasp69 on April 14, 2014, 01:25:07 PM
So, let me get this straight:  You were sunbathing in a thong, topless, slathered in cooking oil?

It was even butter flavored!!!!!!  :rotf: :rotf: :rotf:    Must. stop. now.  Sides. hurting.  :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:
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Offline wasp69

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Re: Trials of crazy Aunt in N.E.
« Reply #7 on: April 14, 2014, 01:45:01 PM »
Quote from: njpines on April 14, 2014, 01:38:47 PM
It was even butter flavored!!!!!!  :rotf: :rotf: :rotf:    Must. stop. now.  Sides. hurting.  :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

I know a lot of fun can be had with baby oil, but butter flavored cooking oil?  :therock:
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"We make men without chests and expect of them virtue and enterprise. We laugh at honor and are shocked to find traitors in our midst. We castrate and then bid the geldings to be fruitful."

C.S. Lewis

A community may possess all the necessary moral qualifications, in so high a degree, as to be capable of self-government under the most adverse circumstances; while, on the other hand, another may be so sunk in ignorance and vice, as to be incapable of forming a conception of liberty, or of living, even when most favored by circumstances, under any other than an absolute and despotic government.

John C Calhoun, "Disquisition on Government", 1840

Offline njpines

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Re: Trials of crazy Aunt in N.E.
« Reply #8 on: April 14, 2014, 01:45:24 PM »
The Butter Shave -- "Stick a fork in me Jerry, I'm done!"



God, I have tears running down my face!   :rofl:
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Piney Power!!

Grow your own dope -- plant a Democrat!

"We will preserve for our children (America), the last best hope of man on earth, or we will sentence them to take the first step into a thousand years of darkness. If we fail, at least let our children and our children's children say of us we justified our brief moment here. We did all that could be done."  -- Ronald Reagan.

"Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you." -- Quest for the Holy Grail

Offline Dori

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Re: Trials of crazy Aunt in N.E.
« Reply #9 on: April 14, 2014, 02:18:41 PM »
Quote from: vesta111 on April 14, 2014, 12:45:33 PM
I got out of the house and lay down in the wonderful heat only to doze off now and then awaking up to kick off the cats and dogs that would sneak up to get in a lick or two.

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Offline freedumb2003b

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Re: Trials of crazy Aunt in N.E.
« Reply #10 on: April 14, 2014, 02:26:41 PM »
Quote from: Dori on April 14, 2014, 02:18:41 PM


You realize there is no way you are ever going to Heaven for posting that, right?

LOLOLOLOL
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Offline njpines

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Re: Trials of crazy Aunt in N.E.
« Reply #11 on: April 14, 2014, 02:34:16 PM »
 :lol:   Dori!!!!!  This whole thread has made it a happy Monday! I'm still cracking up about it  :-)
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Piney Power!!

Grow your own dope -- plant a Democrat!

"We will preserve for our children (America), the last best hope of man on earth, or we will sentence them to take the first step into a thousand years of darkness. If we fail, at least let our children and our children's children say of us we justified our brief moment here. We did all that could be done."  -- Ronald Reagan.

"Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you." -- Quest for the Holy Grail

Offline Freeper

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Re: Trials of crazy Aunt in N.E.
« Reply #12 on: April 14, 2014, 02:45:24 PM »
Quote from: wasp69 on April 14, 2014, 01:25:07 PM
So, let me get this straight:  You were sunbathing in a thong, topless, slathered in cooking oil?

She said she got out her thong, didn't say she put it on.
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Offline dutch508

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Re: Trials of crazy Aunt in N.E.
« Reply #13 on: April 14, 2014, 03:48:48 PM »
Tell me this happened like fifty years ago. Please. For the love of God, please...
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Offline wasp69

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Re: Trials of crazy Aunt in N.E.
« Reply #14 on: April 14, 2014, 03:50:40 PM »
Quote from: Freeper on April 14, 2014, 02:45:24 PM
She said she got out her thong, didn't say she put it on.

 :runaway:
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"We make men without chests and expect of them virtue and enterprise. We laugh at honor and are shocked to find traitors in our midst. We castrate and then bid the geldings to be fruitful."

C.S. Lewis

A community may possess all the necessary moral qualifications, in so high a degree, as to be capable of self-government under the most adverse circumstances; while, on the other hand, another may be so sunk in ignorance and vice, as to be incapable of forming a conception of liberty, or of living, even when most favored by circumstances, under any other than an absolute and despotic government.

John C Calhoun, "Disquisition on Government", 1840

Offline vesta111

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Re: Trials of crazy Aunt in N.E.
« Reply #15 on: April 15, 2014, 07:23:28 AM »
Quote from: Freeper on April 14, 2014, 02:45:24 PM
She said she got out her thong, didn't say she put it on.

True Freeper, thongs are A bit of A problem. 

First one I bought was the size of what I wear for pantie's, size 6.  Darn talk about getting a wedgie, horrible.
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Offline vesta111

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Re: Trials of crazy Aunt in N.E.
« Reply #16 on: April 15, 2014, 07:34:40 AM »
Quote from: vesta111 on April 15, 2014, 07:23:28 AM
True Freeper, thongs are A bit of A problem. 

First one I bought was the size of what I wear for pantie's, size 6.  Darn talk about getting a wedgie, horrible.

Sorry hit wrong button------ At the gym I approached  woman perhaps 30 years younger then me in the locker room and asked how one could wear such a thing comfortably.

Answer was to buy one 2 sizes bigger then panties  it worked for me.   

Women's locker rooms are interesting, I have some strange tales to tell of those places As I Am sure the men do also on their locker rooms.
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