DUmmy Cooks Up Stinky Goat For Guests

[Dori]

This one may be a good candidate to take over the cooking forum

"Kitchen Nighmares"....sounds like a great forum title too

http://www.democraticunderground.com/115741048

Spaldeen (116 posts)

Spaldeen Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmare, or, what is the worst thing you've even cooked/baked?

Ok so last night I made something truly horrendous, and now I'm not even entirely sure what to do with the leftovers (more on that later).


I had some company come over, and I decided to try to make something different. I have a pretty good green thumb when it comes to the garden, but I'm not that great in the kitchen, but it's only me right now so I do the best with what I have. I visited the local Korean food store (yes, the same place that I got the beondegi from in my last thread), and spotted some goat meat for sale! It was frozen, and kind of hard for me to tell what sort of cut it was, and even if it was a particular cut I wouldn't have recongnized it even if someone slapped me in the face with it! It was also on sale, and I bought somewhere around 2-3 pounds of it.

So I get this meat home, thaw it, and then I could see it was in cubes, about three inches by three inches, and I'm thinking I will just bake them in the oven. I'm guessing they are some kind of soup bone, but in a cube? I don't know. Not exactly like a soup bone, but similar. Suffice to say I was worried about the amount of meat that was on each piece, but went ahead and baked them up anyways.

I have had goat meat before. The smell emminating from my stove was horrendous!! It stunk, like bad gamey meat. None of my guests seemed to really comment on it, and I tried to make a small joke about it, but everybody including myself seemed to avoid it for the night.

That brings me to this morning! So I'm stuck with these cubes of semi-tough cubed baked goat cube thingees, and I refuse to throw them out. I put them in the fridge last night, and I decided I would eat one this morning with my coffee and a piece of toast.

Oh. My. God.

That smell from last night coming out of my oven was NOTHING compared to the smell that came out of the microwave when I heated one of these things up! It's unholy! The worst thing is that the smell lingered, and when I heated up my cup of coffee, it came out smelling like Parfume de Goat.

So I guess I have three questions!

What is YOUR worst cooking/baking story you are willing to share

What would YOU do with these coat cube bone things- would you eat them? Throw them out?

And finally, seriously, how do you get a smell out of your microwave from something like this?

Star Member OffWithTheirHeads (9,459 posts)

1. Ha! You think goat smells bad?
 
When I got my first apartment (a looong time ago), I wouldd usually fry up a couple if eggs for breakfast. One sleepy morning I accidendly poured dish soap instead of oil in the pan. It was over 40 years ago and I still can't get that smell out of my mind. As for your goat cubes/ bones/ whatever, make stew.

Spaldeen (116 posts)

2. Gross! Did it mess up the pan?
 
And can you make stew out of something you've already baked? Do you just throw it in with the rest of your ingredients?

Sorry, I'm a baking novice.

 

Spaldeen (116 posts)

2. Gross! Did it mess up the pan?
 
And can you make stew out of something you've already baked? Do you just throw it in with the rest of your ingredients?

Sorry, I'm a baking novice.

Viva_La_Revolution (27,275 posts)

6. Using leftovers for stew/soup absolutely
 
especially when you just cook for one.

bake a whole chicken for dinner 1, reheat for dinner 2, scraps and whatever is left goes into chicken soup for dinners 3 and 4.

Roast - same idea. leftovers can make beef stew, stroganof and taco meat. at least 5 meals.

I hear goat is an aquired taste. maybe freeze it for now so it doesn't go to waste.
 I have several ziplocks of meat in the freezer, bits of roast or steak, pork etc. Some of the best stews I've made had 3-4 different bits of beef cooked different ways with different spices.

Star Member libodem (14,432 posts)

3. Is it mean spirited to have laughed
 
Funny story. Sorry. I can't stand mutton either. So I'm trying to get into your shoes and image this fiasco. Hee hee hee. I hate wild game, too. But my brothers and ex hunted. My mom would get out the GARLIC.

 So my bet would be to disguise it in a pot of spicy chili or into spaghetti sauce. Cook it until it almost dissolves. But only a small batch. You still might have to dump it.

Lord this was hilarious. Or I'm just a mean ass bitch in the morning.

Freddie (1,998 posts)

8. Do you have a dog?
 
I don't but wish I did sometimes, then I wouldn't feel guilty throwing out bad kitchen experiments if someone got to enjoy it.
Worst thing I ever made was...I was in a hurry to get food on the table and decided to make panko-coated fried chicken tenders. Quick and good, right? Opened the package of chicken (not expiration date yet) and it smelled a trifle "off" but sometimes it's the packaging that smells funny. Dredged, fried the chicken, smelled good cooking, took a bite. Ewww, spit in napkin! More than a trifle "off" and the coating/frying just sealed in the badness. Quick told DH & kids "don't eat that!!" and since we had to be somewhere soon, it was cereal for dinner. 

SheilaT (14,597 posts)

10. It'[s okay to throw out a failed meal.
 
I've done it more than once, and I consider myself a pretty decent cook.

My only advice to you is NEVER make something radically different for guests. Never. Even doing a variation on something can result in disaster. That said, I do admire your willingness to do something like that.

A few times back when I was married I tried something new, my husband and I took two or three bites, looked at each other, threw out whatever it was and headed off to a restaurant. One of his best qualities is that he never complained at times like that, just took it in stride.

I've had goat once or twice and liked it, but I would never try cooking it myself.

[FlippyDoo]

Okay Spaldeen, this is what you should do. Take a cup of blueberries and puree them. Then add a table spoon of onions and half a crushed clove of garlic. Then place it in a saucepan, on low, till you can taste the flavors mingling.
 
While still warm, add Balsamic vinegar and just a touch of olive oil.

Then let it set for a day in the refrigerator and then pour it over a salad mix, a small can of Mandarin Oranges, and goat cube bone things.

Yum!

[GOBUCKS]

Okay Spaldeen, this is what you should do. Take a cup of blueberries and puree them. Then add a table spoon of onions and half a crushed clove of garlic. Then place it in a saucepan, on low, till you can taste the flavors mingling.
 
While still warm, add Balsamic vinegar and just a touch of olive oil.

Then let it set for a day in the refrigerator and then pour it over a salad mix, a small can of Mandarin Oranges, and goat cube bone things.

Yum!

Then invite Dreamboat Dave and Hanging Chad for dinner.

[DumbAss Tanker]

Goat tastes pretty OK if it's a wether or a doe, killed and prepped like normal American farm animals.  That's what the DUmmtard gets for shopping in a Korean food market, where they have things like tough old billygoat sitting around because the poor benighted saps think it will make them more virile...and it could well be that even the Koreans knew it was going to taste like shit, and that's why they were unloading it cheap.

[BlueStateSaint]

Okay Spaldeen, this is what you should do. Take a cup of blueberries and puree them. Then add a table spoon of onions and half a crushed clove of garlic. Then place it in a saucepan, on low, till you can taste the flavors mingling.
 
While still warm, add Balsamic vinegar and just a touch of olive oil.

Then let it set for a day in the refrigerator and then pour it over a salad mix, a small can of Mandarin Oranges, and goat cube bone things.

Yum!

This is a variation of NJCher's vomit stew, isn't it?

[catsmtrods]

Mountain oysters?

[Skul]

This one concerns me.

Freddie (1,998 posts)

8. Do you have a dog?

Don't ask what's in the stew.

[miskie]

I'm sending your goat cubes Healing White Light (tm) - If you are lucky, maybe you will get haunted by several cube-shaped goatlets.


Or better yet -  http://www.goat-simulator.com/

[youtube=560,315]dvWGLcdI8o8[/youtube]

[Dori]

This is a variation of NJCher's vomit stew, isn't it?

No, LFR was playing with her food and cooked up this recipe.

[BattleHymn]

Atman the goat inspector checks in:

Sun Apr 13, 2014, 09:29 AM

Star Member Atman (27,395 posts)
13. It was bad goat!

I've made curried goat a couple of times, always bought the meat fresh from the local farmers market. I didn't stink at all, and it was very tender and delicious. My guess is you just got some stinky goat!

Scrub out every inch of the micro with some serious cleanser, then wipe it down with water (you don't want that cleanser getting into your food). As for the leftover goat meat, leave it out in the yard. Some critter will be happy to eat it during the night. And next time, buy fresh goat.

Also:

Sat Apr 12, 2014, 12:49 PM

Viva_La_Revolution (27,275 posts)
6. Using leftovers for stew/soup absolutely

especially when you just cook for one.

and

That smell from last night coming out of my oven was NOTHING compared to the smell that came out of the microwave when I heated one of these things up! It's unholy! The worst thing is that the smell lingered, and when I heated up my cup of coffee, it came out smelling like Parfume de Goat.

lead me to believe that this primitive is in for a lonely existence. 




My advice: take the coffee and tell the primitives it was brewed with beans that came out of a goat's butt, and they'll pay $50 a bag for them. 

[FlippyDoo]

Atman the goat inspector checks in:


Also:

and

lead me to believe that this primitive is in for a lonely existence. 




My advice: take the coffee and tell the primitives it was brewed with beans that came out of a goat's butt, and they'll pay $50 a bag for them. 

Probably more than that if she were to tell them that it was a black, homosexual, French free-range goat named Pierre.

[DumbAss Tanker]

Sun Apr 13, 2014, 09:29 AM

Star Member Atman (27,395 posts)
13. It was bad goat!

I've made curried goat a couple of times, always bought the meat fresh from the local farmers market. I didn't stink at all, ...

So you say, but what about the goat?

 

[franksolich]

So you say, but what about the goat?

 

Good catch.

That went right by me, and I'm sure it went by most everybody else too.

[FlippyDoo]

Good catch.

That went right by me, and I'm sure it went by most everybody else too.

It did slide by me. I'm glad that DAT caught it. Since I present myself as the fictional spirit-guide with no smell whatsoever I feel that I need to issue a disclaimer that Atman is not my current mole on DU; however, I can neither confirm nor deny that he is a paid infiltrator on DU.

[BlueStateSaint]

So you say, but what about the goat?

 

My sides hurt now.  H5!

[Karin]

How dumb can you get?  The stench is seriously grossing out the OP DUmmie, and she needs to ask the DUmp what to do?  They tell her to make a stew, when the smell is truly horrendous?  Throw the shit out, Spaldeen, it's really not that hard.  Take it to the nearest woods and just heave it in. 

And why in the hell would you experiment with something weird when you have company coming?  Think, for once in your life. 

Goat is only good for cheese. 

[vesta111]

How dumb can you get?  The stench is seriously grossing out the OP DUmmie, and she needs to ask the DUmp what to do?  They tell her to make a stew, when the smell is truly horrendous?  Throw the shit out, Spaldeen, it's really not that hard.  Take it to the nearest woods and just heave it in. 

And why in the hell would you experiment with something weird when you have company coming?  Think, for once in your life. 

Goat is only good for cheese. 

This person has no idea when she has problems.   Smell is the best and oldest way humans survived.   

I got this strange idea------Back in the bible when Army's were on the march 3,000 dirty unwashed men, the smell of them uncircumcised could have traveled for miles before they go to a town.

So the Jews in their wisdom began the practice so as to not alert the people of them coming.

I think this as having to deal with the uncircumcised in hospital or even in a job of cleaning can smell the Cheese  left from a male that does not clean themselves.

I have no idea how I got here from eating goat, BUT,  IF ANYTHING  smells bad, don't put it in your mouth.

[njpines]

Trust Vesta to tie stinky goat to circumcision 

Holy Non Sequitor, Batman!

[Dori]

Trust Vesta to tie stinky goat to circumcision 

 

[Gina]

  best thread EVAH

[YupItsMe]

Give it the goat meat to one of your Muzzie friends. He can share it with his camel while they are out on a date. 

[Wineslob]

[miskie]

[BattleHymn]

How dumb can you get?  The stench is seriously grossing out the OP DUmmie, and she needs to ask the DUmp what to do?  They tell her to make a stew, when the smell is truly horrendous? 

Maybe she can serve the stew to her friends, if they ever come back. 

I wonder what her friends had to say about being served goat cubes when they got away from there?

[miskie]

[youtube=560,315]tsIgOj68G1Y[/youtube]

Lyrics are NSFW. You have been warned.