Jackpine Radical figgered[sic] it all out

[Ralph Wiggum]

Jackpine Radical (39,992 posts)

I figgered out what's wrong with everything. Here it is in a nutshell.


I figgered out what's wrong with everything. Here it is in a nutshell.


I’ll tell you what’s ruining America. Smart people. They’re what’s causing all our problems. Just think for a minute. Well, OK, “think” is a little much. Turn on your hate juices and let your guts churn for a minute or two here. Who dreamed up this global warming stuff? Right. Smart people. Goddam scientists and whatnot. There would be no global warming nonsense if it weren’t for those busybody smart people.

And the health care mess. That’s totally the fault of the smart people. I mean, if all those smart people hadn’t gotten involved, there wouldn’t be any health care to speak of in the first place, let alone a government trying to shove it down our throats. You cut yourself, you chew some leaves and paste them over the cut, right? Don’t need some complicated government program for that.

Teaching evolution? Special rights for homosexuals? Separation of Church and State? Right. Smart people again. You’re starting to get the picture, aren’t you?

Here are the steps you can take to help fight smart people.

First, home school your kids. In addition, if you use the Bible as your only textbook, you can pretty much guarantee your kids will never turn into Smart People.

Second, try to help other people avoid turning their kids into Smart People. Always vote against school referendums, and vote for the most conservative candidates for the local school board.

Third, always remember that rich people and corporations are your friends. They, too, want to keep the government from interfering in your life and trying to better your conditions. That is one reason why private schools are best for all children: They are run by corporations, and they are specially designed to prevent their students from turning into Smart People.

A daily dose of at least two hours of Rush Limbaugh will help you avoid becoming a Smart Person, particularly if you add at least a weekly dose of Glenn Beck.

You must always be on guard against being infected by Smart thinking.

Here is a quick little test you can take to keep tabs on yourself. Just circle the number from 1 to 5 depending on how much you agree or disagree:

1) Fox News is fair and balanced. Disagree..1..2..3..4..5..Agree


2) God wants Ted Cruz to be President. Disagree..1..2..3..4..5..Agree


3) In the old days, people rode dinosaurs. Disagree..1..2..3..4..5..Agree

Add up the numbers you circled. Any score less than 12 means that you are in danger of catching Smartness and need to listen to Gordon Liddy in addition to Rush. If your score gets as low as 10, you should immediately contact your sponsor in the Tea Party and arrange to receive an immediate infusion of irrational rage.

[Dori]

We need a name for proglodytes that think they are the only smart ones, even though their polices always fail and the majority of them  seem to be living on the dumb people's dime.

This particular prog sure named himself well 

Jackpine

A temporary or long-term life-state characterized by lack of ambition, fondness for low cost beer, and a zen-like contentedness absent any knowledge of zen concepts or practices. Jackpine often manifests as the lack of motivation to get up and move from one couch to another.

[Carl]

So smart that every hysterical prediction of gloBULL warming has failed.

So smart that they wrote Obozocare and its own namesake has had to delay implementation 30 plus times.

So smart that in 3 years and in the neighborhood of 700 million (2 million per person) they have a website that still does not work and is still not even finished.

So smart that they exist to beg for handouts.

So smart that they have democratunderground to whine daily about their lifelong failures.

Yeah,you geniuses sure built all of the society that you leech off from. 

[FlippyDoo]

Who figured out that 9/11 was faked by using a couple of blocks, chicken wire, and setting some newspaper on fire? A DUer.

Who thinks it is a male cat trapped in a female human body? Yep, a DUer.

Who thinks outlawing guns will make killers follow the law? Yep, DUers.

Who thinks the Muslims that would kill them are just misunderstood while the Christians who would pray for them are evil? Yep, again DUers.

Who thinks its spirit-guide smells like cigarette smoke and bacon? Yep, a DUer.

Who thinks it is a trained historian-journalist-medic-everything? Yep, a DUer.

Who thinks that an unborn human baby is just a clump of cells that can freely be executed but an unborn turtle is a living being who should be protected at all costs? Yep, once more DUers.

Who thinks that Bush had a hurricane machine? Yep, DUers.

Who thought hiding someone's TV remote in the ceiling and bragging about it on DU was a good idea? Yep, DUers

Who voted for and continues to support the politic party that was in charge when the bottom dropped out of the economy? Yep, DUers

Who constantly claims to be smart people? Yep, DUers.

Maybe "smart people" aren't really as "smart" as they think they are.

Oops. I almost posted this without posting something helpful so here goes...

Jackpine Radical, you are more stupid than a runny pile of cow shit. Maybe if you posted less people would be less likely to notice your stupidity.

[tanstaafl]

We need a name for proglodytes that think they are the only smart ones, even though their polices always fail and the majority of them  seem to be living on the dumb people's dime.

This particular prog sure named himself well 

Jackpine

A temporary or long-term life-state characterized by lack of ambition, fondness for low cost beer, and a zen-like contentedness absent any knowledge of zen concepts or practices. Jackpine often manifests as the lack of motivation to get up and move from one couch to another.

Isn't his super-secret RAT codename SNIVELING JACKWAGON.

[miskie]

If one takes the word 'people' and replaces it with 'asses' , the DUmmy's post is almost correct.

[diesel driver]

Who figured out that 9/11 was faked by using a couple of blocks, chicken wire, and setting some newspaper on fire? A DUer.

Who thinks it is a male cat trapped in a female human body? Yep, a DUer.

Who thinks outlawing guns will make killers follow the law? Yep, DUers.

Who thinks the Muslims that would kill them are just misunderstood while the Christians who would pray for them are evil? Yep, again DUers.

Who thinks its spirit-guide smells like cigarette smoke and bacon? Yep, a DUer.

Who thinks it is a trained historian-journalist-medic-everything? Yep, a DUer.

Who thinks that an unborn human baby is just a clump of cells that can freely be executed but an unborn turtle is a living being who should be protected at all costs? Yep, once more DUers.

Who thinks that Bush had a hurricane machine? Yep, DUers.

Who thought hiding someone's TV remote in the ceiling and bragging about it on DU was a good idea? Yep, DUers

Who voted for and continues to support the politic party that was in charge when the bottom dropped out of the economy? Yep, DUers

Who constantly claims to be smart people? Yep, DUers.

Maybe "smart people" aren't really as "smart" as they think they are.

Oops. I almost posted this without posting something helpful so here goes...

Jackpine Radical, you are more stupid than a runny pile of cow shit. Maybe if you posted less people would be less likely to notice your stupidity.

Who was it that thought the BFEE was building underground detention centers under Walmart stores?  Yep, a DUmbass.

In addition to a hurricane machine, who thought Bush/Rove had an earthquake machine?  Yep, a DUmbass.

I DO know what is causing this substantial increase in "smart" people.  Damned warning labels!

Remember back to a day before all these warning labels.  "Smart" people used to kill themselves off, usually (and hopefully) before they procreated.  Now, thanks to warning labels, it ain't happening!

"Natural selection" isn't taking place anymore!  

And while I'm thinking of it, I like to get my hands around the neck of the "smart"ass who thought 1.6 gallons is enough water to flush a toilet.  I bet he got that number from the same place he stores his head!

[fatboy]

JerkPine Radical,

It's been almost 6 years since Bush left the Whitehouse and the economy still sucks. Why?

If Obamacare is so good how come more people hate it than like it?

How come the rest of the world distrusts us more since Obama took over from the bumbling Bush?

In the last 6 years, the US State department has lost track of 6 Billion dollars. Could you explain this amount of tax payer money in terms of housing and healthcare for the poor?

If you needed brain surgery and the Dr. offered you a hit on his joint just before they wheeled you into the OR, would you take the toke?

Do you get all of your financial planning information and advice from people who have no money?

Have you ever been in, or even heard of a hospital named after a pagan diety?

[USA4ME]

It's April 5th and the welfare check for the Jackpine Radical primitive hasn't arrived yet. Sometimes when they hopelessly dependent don't get their freebies on time they get a little irritable. Give it a day or two and it'll calm down to just being its everyday stupid self.

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