It better not start like "this one time at band camp".
Well, hell, now that you mention it...

This one time at band camp, I ran into a guy who was crazy as hell. Crazier than Crazy Horse. He'd bitch all the time because other people would leave their mute or their stand or their music or their instrument in the rehearsal hall. The guy was a neatnik and he drove everybody nuts. He also played tuba, and was always bitching about schlepping the damn thing all over the place.
Well, sure as hell, he left his tuba in the rehearsal hall one day. Somebody (who will remain nameless -

) decided to pay him back for the relentless bitching all the time and took a dump in the tuba.
I think he had to call his mom to come get him after that one.
