WWYD.....

[BEG]

My moonbat friend that I talk about frequently has a daughter that is the same age as my youngest.  When ever this kid is at my house my moonbat friend NEVER calls to see what time I want her picked up.  She came over yesterday around 2:00 pm and is still here.  Her daughter called her at about 10:00 pm last night to see if she could spend the night.  The mom never called before that.  She hasn't called here yet and it is 8:53  right now. 

I'm not the only one who she does this too by the way.  WTH is wrong with people?  I mean, I know I could call her and she would come get her but that is not the point.  I guess it wasn't so much of a WWYD but WTF is wrong with people type of question.  As a side note, the kid is not a problem to have around.  They get along fine and as most mothers can confirm, it is easier having someone around to play with your kid as when they have no one to play with they get bored and tell you about it every 5 minutes.   

[MrsSmith]

My middle kid's best friend used to end up babysitting his little brothers a lot.  When my kid invited him to stay Friday night, he'd ask his mom and then ask me if he could bring his 2 brothers.  At that time, I lived in a huge, old, drafty barn of a place, so always said, "yes."  They would all three come over after school Friday.   They would go home sometime Sunday afternoon because they didn't have school clothes along.  Their mother never called OR picked them up...ever.

(The older boys called me "Mom" quite often.  They would also come in with my kid and all three would beg for work to earn some spending money.       ) 

Edit to say, what would I do?  Keep the kid.   :innocent:

[BEG]

My middle kid's best friend used to end up babysitting his little brothers a lot.  When my kid invited him to stay Friday night, he'd ask his mom and then ask me if he could bring his 2 brothers.  At that time, I lived in a huge, old, drafty barn of a place, so always said, "yes."  They would all three come over after school Friday.   They would go home sometime Sunday afternoon because they didn't have school clothes along.  Their mother never called OR picked them up...ever.

(The older boys called me "Mom" quite often.  They would also come in with my kid and all three would beg for work to earn some spending money.       ) 

Edit to say, what would I do?  Keep the kid.   :innocent:

I intend to keep the kid until the mom or dad calls.  I hope they plan on getting her before tomorrow afternoon, we are leaving for Tulsa then.   

[Thor]

Are you going up 75/69  or 35 ??

What I've  noticed is that today's society has pretty much forgotten what etiquette is, let alone personal responsibility.

[Miss Mia]

That's just strange to me. 

[Baruch Menachem]

We had the same problem with a neighbor.  The bigger problem was when my daughter was visiting them, they would just pile her in the car without telling me.  I kept my kids to a pretty rigid schedule, even in summer.

I was getting madder and madder.  I was thinking of telling her that if the kid was here after 9:30 I was calling child protective services to pick up the kid.  Never went that far.  But I was coming to a boil.

[Flame]

ya'll are nicer than I am, I guess, 'cause I find out before hand how long someone will be over...99% of the time extra kids over at my house drives me farther down the road to insanity.

[BEG]

Are you going up 75/69  or 35 ??

What I've  noticed is that today's society has pretty much forgotten what etiquette is, let alone personal responsibility.

We never got up I35 through Oklahoma City.  Where we are going is outside of Tulsa to a town called Adair. 

I was informed last night that we aren't leaving today but tomorrow.  One more day of no ticks....woo hoo.  I have a tick phobia.  It causes me to stay in the house when I'm there.  This is a "farm" outside of the town of Adair.  Once I stayed in the house the whole trip and only went outside when we got there and when we left (from the car to the front door).  I ended up having a friggen tick on my head.  It had to be there for some time because it was already rather large by the time I found it.   

[DixieBelle]

BEG, we have the same problem! You're not going to believe this (or sadly you guys will) but we have had kids come over to play for the day and not have the parent check in on them or give a time for them to be home. And, they invite themselves to stay for dinner or want to tag along if we're planning on going out later. One kid's mom makes him stay outside until she gets home from work. I came home one day from picking my son up from soccer (it was rained out) and he was sitting in my son's room. Hubby had let him in and told him he could hang out until we got back and it was raining so he wasn't going to make him walk home. I asked him if his mom knew where he was and he said, "oh she's out and I can't come home until she's back." WTF!

This kid is 13 and I get conflicting stories so I don't know what the deal is. Now that summer is here, the kids have scattered or gone to visit relatives so it's been quiet.

I do put my foot down and ask the kids if their mom knows where they are, what time does she want you home, etc..and if they don't give me an answer, I just say, "well you can stay until....and then you have to go home."

Personal responsibility and manners HAVE gone out the window. Sigh.

[Chris_]

I guess my wife and I are just wierd or something.  My son (4) does not go outside unless mom and/or I are out there with him.  He's got a specific range he's allowed to ride his bicycle in, and if he exceeds it, mom or I usually know within about 20 seconds, and "amen" to his bike riding privileges for the day.  We know all of our neighbors really well, and we still don't allow him to just wander into their homes.  (It's rude, no matter how cute he thinks he is.)  Thankfully we haven't had any of his friends in the neighborhood try to camp out at our place, so we haven't dealt with that little nuisance yet, but most of the parents in the neighborhood with us are also pretty good about keeping an eye skinned for their own when they're outside the four walls of their home.

I think we're all really 'stepford wife' type robots....

[BEG]

BEG, we have the same problem! You're not going to believe this (or sadly you guys will) but we have had kids come over to play for the day and not have the parent check in on them or give a time for them to be home. And, they invite themselves to stay for dinner or want to tag along if we're planning on going out later. One kid's mom makes him stay outside until she gets home from work. I came home one day from picking my son up from soccer (it was rained out) and he was sitting in my son's room. Hubby had let him in and told him he could hang out until we got back and it was raining so he wasn't going to make him walk home. I asked him if his mom knew where he was and he said, "oh she's out and I can't come home until she's back." WTF!

This kid is 13 and I get conflicting stories so I don't know what the deal is. Now that summer is here, the kids have scattered or gone to visit relatives so it's been quiet.

I do put my foot down and ask the kids if their mom knows where they are, what time does she want you home, etc..and if they don't give me an answer, I just say, "well you can stay until....and then you have to go home."

Personal responsibility and manners HAVE gone out the window. Sigh.

Back before I had my youngest and when my other two were small there was a neighborhood kid in the neighborhood where we rented a house.  This kid came over all the time, all on his own and with out calling.  I didn't even know his parents or even saw the mother or father EVER.  Heck I don't even know who he lived with.  At the time my son was maybe 6 and this kid was at least a year younger.  This house had a glass storm door and I would leave the front door open when it was nice outside.  It got to the point that I had to lock the storm door because if the front door was open he would just open the storm door and walk in.  Then it got so bad that when I saw him walking towards our house we would all hide under the front window so he couldn't tell we were home.  

Here I was an adult and I was hiding from a small child.  How friggen pitiful is that?!?    

For the record, last night at around 9:30 my daughter finally came to me and asked, "When is Bella's mom going to call so she can go home, I'm ready for her to go".  LOL  Then 5 minutes later she goes, "Bella wants me to spend the night can we call her Mom?"  Kids are fickle like that.  Oh and I called at 9:45 this morning and asked if they wanted me to come get my kid.  I'm trying to lead by example.  I waited until 9:45 because she likes to sleep late, she was still sleeping when I called.  

[BEG]

I guess my wife and I are just wierd or something.  My son (4) does not go outside unless mom and/or I are out there with him.  He's got a specific range he's allowed to ride his bicycle in, and if he exceeds it, mom or I usually know within about 20 seconds, and "amen" to his bike riding privileges for the day.  We know all of our neighbors really well, and we still don't allow him to just wander into their homes.  (It's rude, no matter how cute he thinks he is.)  Thankfully we haven't had any of his friends in the neighborhood try to camp out at our place, so we haven't dealt with that little nuisance yet, but most of the parents in the neighborhood with us are also pretty good about keeping an eye skinned for their own when they're outside the four walls of their home.

I think we're all really 'stepford wife' type robots....

My son (who is now 19) never rode his bike with out either my husband or me until we moved into the house we currently live in.  That was 7 years ago, so my son was 12 before he was able to ride his bike around the neighborhood by himself.  I thought it was normal until we moved into this neighborhood.  This neighborhood is crawling with kids.  There are kids as young as 6 riding their bikes by themselves all over the surrounding neighborhood which surprises the heck out of me.  We have parks all over this neighborhood as well and there are young kids without parents hanging out at the parks as well.  I don't let my youngest (who is 9 1/2) go to the park right up the street (literally 7 houses up the street) by herself or with her friends unless my older daughter (who will be 15 in October) or parent is with her. 

Just in the last few months we let the younger girls (the 9 year olds) walk to each other houses (just a few houses up the street) by themselves.  I'm sure we are being over protective.  Heck I remember riding my big wheel with no parent around the block (busy streets all around) when I was in kindergarten.  I would go outside in the AM and not come home until dusk and never check in with my Mom.  I also use to walk several blocks to and from school starting in kindergarten all by myself.  Now I pick up my youngest from school and I can see her elementary school from the next street over from our house.  How times have changed. 

[DixieBelle]

yes, times have changed! we rode our bikes all over the place and didn't have a cell phone. we also lived out in the country for a few years and we spent all day exploring the woods. anything could have happened!

Parents knew each other when we were kids. I can also remember getting disciplined by my friend's mom! They didn't hesitate to keep us all in line.

Today? It's a different world. And it's really hard to raise our kid when the rest of them seem to have parents who don't care. Ugh.

[Chris_]

My son (who is now 19) never rode his bike with out either my husband or me until we moved into the house we currently live in.  That was 7 years ago, so my son was 12 before he was able to ride his bike around the neighborhood by himself.  I thought it was normal until we moved into this neighborhood.  This neighborhood is crawling with kids.  There are kids as young as 6 riding their bikes by themselves all over the surrounding neighborhood which surprises the heck out of me.  We have parks all over this neighborhood as well and there are young kids without parents hanging out at the parks as well.  I don't let my youngest (who is 9 1/2) go to the park right up the street (literally 7 houses up the street) by herself or with her friends unless my older daughter (who will be 15 in October) or parent is with her. 

Just in the last few months we let the younger girls (the 9 year olds) walk to each other houses (just a few houses up the street) by themselves.  I'm sure we are being over protective.  Heck I remember riding my big wheel with no parent around the block (busy streets all around) when I was in kindergarten.  I would go outside in the AM and not come home until dusk and never check in with my Mom.  I also use to walk several blocks to and from school starting in kindergarten all by myself.  Now I pick up my youngest from school and I can see her elementary school from the next street over from our house.  How times have changed. 

We've got 2 "parks" in the neighborhood that my son usually gets to visit on average of about 2-3 times a week - with mom in tow.  The parks are sooo outside his normal range that for the most part, when playing outside they're out of sight/out of mind for him (luckily for us).

I'm not looking forward to the battle of wills we have ahead of us when he gets older.  He may wind up spending most of his pre-adolescence grounded or on a leash (we only recently discontinued using a leash on him).

While we tell/remind him that going into other people's houses uninvited is rude, the biggest reason (undiscussed with him) that we discourage it is that while we know our neighbors pretty well, and they seem from what we know to be wonderful outstanding people, that's what the neighbors say about the pedophiles when it's found he's been preying on the neighborhood kids.  I'm 99% sure our neighbors are great, and we'd never have a problem llike that with them, but I don't believe in tempting the fates over that last 1% I don't know about.

[DixieBelle]

Leashes are a pain. I'm looking into putting a GPS and camera in my kid's forehead. I'd love to put him under lock and key but my husband thinks that's a bit much

You're right about going to other people's homes. We have the same rule. I find it unsettling that most of the other parents don't. I have been the mom that goes over and introduces herself (while casing their house for dangers) and they seem shocked that I've done so.

We have also told our child that a "stranger" is anyone we haven't met. Doesn't matter how well he knows the kid.

[Chris_]

Leashes save lives.

For those of you familiar with grand Canyon National Park, you know that the Park Service has put safety walls and fences at the edge of all that scenic beauty.  The Grand Canyon has nearby, however, a smaller probably even more beautiful offshoot canyon called Canyon de Chelle (pronounced "shay").  While making the Grand Canyon look like a bid ditch, there are no safety barriers on the trails.

Many years ago, my wife's family made a day trip up to Canyon de Chelle.  We had a number of the children with us, and had resolved that anyone under the age of 10 would be leashed off to an adult.  On the trail up to the canyon edge, we passed a pair of old bitties on the trail who - in stage whispers between one another - commented on how barbaric it was to tie children up like they were dogs.  Rather than pick up the thrown gauntlet, we just continued up the trail, keeping our mouths shut.

As we got toward the end of the trail, my nephew Christopher - was about 8 or 9 - was getting excited to get to the canyon edge.  He started running at the end of his leash, and my wife's father - to whom he was tied off to - was running to keep up.  Something distracted Chris as he rounded a corner, and the next thing he knew he was dangling off a 200 foot cliff with "Grampy" being dragged over the side with him by his momentum.  It took 3 of us adult men to stabilize grampy's footing at the edge of the precipice, while one more laid down and fished Christopher back onto solid ground.  As we were pulling him back up, around the corner came the two old bitties.  The looks on their faces said everything their voices couldn't.

[DixieBelle]

Oh my goodness! Yes, in that case leashes save lives!

I thought you meant a leash at all times. 

[Chris_]

Oh my goodness! Yes, in that case leashes save lives!

I thought you meant a leash at all times. 

No, we primarily used the leash when losing sight of Joshua could prove disastrous in any number of ways.  He would be leashed off in the mall, hiking (he wasn't even a dirty thought in his daddy's mind at the Canyon de Chelle trip, but we've made others like it since then) and nowadays even especially when we're out sailing. 

Joshua likes to wander around on the boat, and although he doesn't even step onboard without his lifejacket on, I'm not interested in traumatizing him with the thought that we're leaving him, when I have to sail away from him in order to get room to turn around and retrieve him.  So instead, we lash him off to the mast and he can wander the boat at will; and if he goes overboard, all I have to do is snatch him up out of the water by the harness.

[RobJohnson]

Are you going up 75/69  or 35 ??

What I've  noticed is that today's society has pretty much forgotten what etiquette is, let alone personal responsibility.

We never got up I35 through Oklahoma City.  Where we are going is outside of Tulsa to a town called Adair. 

I was informed last night that we aren't leaving today but tomorrow.  One more day of no ticks....woo hoo.  I have a tick phobia.  It causes me to stay in the house when I'm there.  This is a "farm" outside of the town of Adair.  Once I stayed in the house the whole trip and only went outside when we got there and when we left (from the car to the front door).  I ended up having a friggen tick on my head.  It had to be there for some time because it was already rather large by the time I found it.   

Just seen a thing on the news, ticks are really bad this year. Record reports of them mostly in the southwestern states.

[jtyangel]

BEG, if things have been worked out in advance, perhaps the family trusts you to take good care of thier child that they don't feel the need to call every few minutes. I admit, if I know when and where and how the pick up will go, I don't bother my kid too much at her friend's house. I don't feel the need to check on her every hour since I know she's in good hands. I feel honored that her friend's folks feel the same way when their children are here.
Sometimes we also do 'open-ended playdates' where I ask(or they) what time the playdate is over and they say they don't know. Usually the parents have made it quite clear they don't mind the child staying as long as possible and will just call when its getting close to time or if the plans will involved taking my child out of the home to go shopping or staying for dinner or something(so I can give the ok).

For me, I think it depends on the relationship with the sets of parents and the friends. The set with my daughter's best friend, we don't get too formal and I don't feel the need to call regularly. With other friends, I call and we set tight times for the playdate. Just all depends. On the positive side, perhaps the parents trust you all very much. Consider that an honor if you know it's not a matter of being used for a cheap babysitter.

[jtyangel]

Oh my goodness! Yes, in that case leashes save lives!

I thought you meant a leash at all times. 

No, we primarily used the leash when losing sight of Joshua could prove disastrous in any number of ways.  He would be leashed off in the mall, hiking (he wasn't even a dirty thought in his daddy's mind at the Canyon de Chelle trip, but we've made others like it since then) and nowadays even especially when we're out sailing. 

Joshua likes to wander around on the boat, and although he doesn't even step onboard without his lifejacket on, I'm not interested in traumatizing him with the thought that we're leaving him, when I have to sail away from him in order to get room to turn around and retrieve him.  So instead, we lash him off to the mast and he can wander the boat at will; and if he goes overboard, all I have to do is snatch him up out of the water by the harness.

In the mall? Mind if I ask why and how that rises to the same level of danger as a canyon or a boat. Just curious.

[Toastedturningtidelegs]

Oh my goodness! Yes, in that case leashes save lives!

I thought you meant a leash at all times. 

No, we primarily used the leash when losing sight of Joshua could prove disastrous in any number of ways.  He would be leashed off in the mall, hiking (he wasn't even a dirty thought in his daddy's mind at the Canyon de Chelle trip, but we've made others like it since then) and nowadays even especially when we're out sailing. 

Joshua likes to wander around on the boat, and although he doesn't even step onboard without his lifejacket on, I'm not interested in traumatizing him with the thought that we're leaving him, when I have to sail away from him in order to get room to turn around and retrieve him.  So instead, we lash him off to the mast and he can wander the boat at will; and if he goes overboard, all I have to do is snatch him up out of the water by the harness.

In the mall? Mind if I ask why and how that rises to the same level of danger as a canyon or a boat. Just curious.

My youngest wore a leash and a shock collar until he was 6!...

[jtyangel]

Oh my goodness! Yes, in that case leashes save lives!

I thought you meant a leash at all times. 

No, we primarily used the leash when losing sight of Joshua could prove disastrous in any number of ways.  He would be leashed off in the mall, hiking (he wasn't even a dirty thought in his daddy's mind at the Canyon de Chelle trip, but we've made others like it since then) and nowadays even especially when we're out sailing. 

Joshua likes to wander around on the boat, and although he doesn't even step onboard without his lifejacket on, I'm not interested in traumatizing him with the thought that we're leaving him, when I have to sail away from him in order to get room to turn around and retrieve him.  So instead, we lash him off to the mast and he can wander the boat at will; and if he goes overboard, all I have to do is snatch him up out of the water by the harness.

In the mall? Mind if I ask why and how that rises to the same level of danger as a canyon or a boat. Just curious.

My youngest wore a leash and a shock collar until he was 6!...

Mine might too--it's why I ask. Remember, I have a 4 year old boy too. Some days...scratch that part of most days are like this

[Toastedturningtidelegs]

Oh my goodness! Yes, in that case leashes save lives!

I thought you meant a leash at all times. 

No, we primarily used the leash when losing sight of Joshua could prove disastrous in any number of ways.  He would be leashed off in the mall, hiking (he wasn't even a dirty thought in his daddy's mind at the Canyon de Chelle trip, but we've made others like it since then) and nowadays even especially when we're out sailing. 

Joshua likes to wander around on the boat, and although he doesn't even step onboard without his lifejacket on, I'm not interested in traumatizing him with the thought that we're leaving him, when I have to sail away from him in order to get room to turn around and retrieve him.  So instead, we lash him off to the mast and he can wander the boat at will; and if he goes overboard, all I have to do is snatch him up out of the water by the harness.

In the mall? Mind if I ask why and how that rises to the same level of danger as a canyon or a boat. Just curious.

My youngest wore a leash and a shock collar until he was 6!...

Mine might too--it's why I ask. Remember, I have a 4 year old boy too. Some days...scratch that part of most days are like this

He really hated the  id chip planted in his forehead!

[jtyangel]

I should add that I'm disagreeable at the moment and actually arguing more the safety reason at the mall. It seems to me that a leash there is more of a convenience for the parents then a safety issue. Nothing wrong with it, but no need to justify it in the name of safety. Trust me, I understand. I've wondered if they allow crates for children when my boys came in to the world. Hmm, maybe there is some money there if I can get past those pesky child services laws


**hopefully everyone here knows I'm kidding**