We own a big, stainless Bosch with an express cycle. (30 mins) It's perfect for doing dishes 'as you go', provided you aren't a DUmmy and leave them lingering in the sink (or bathtub) for days first.
1 ) Make sure the dishwasher is emptied before you begin.
2 ) Get your cooking pans and whatnot in after everything is in the oven, on express cycle.
3 ) After dinner, empty dishwasher, and get everything in again, on express cycle.
4 ) If there is too much to fit in one go, get the serving/baking dishes/pans in first, then do the dinnerware next. (both on express)
It shouldn't take you any more than five minutes to unload, and another five to reload. It's not that hard to do, nor will it take away from your time with your friends and family. The key is getting the dishes in and going RIGHT AWAY - if you let them sit, they will need more time in the dishwasher, or hand washing first. We are a family of five, including a teenager and a 'tween'. Dishwashing is my chore (we all have assigned duties), and believe me - I load and unload the dishwasher twice a day. If I didn't follow what I have written above, we would end up buried in dishes.