One thing--out of many, of course--that's always fascinated me when watching the primitives on Skins's island is that s-o-o-o-o-o-o many of them are always afflicted with one ailment or another, some so obscure or novel or unreal that I have to nadin them, to find out what they are.
I'm sure half the afflictions the primitives claim to have, don't
really exist.
I have personal experience in this sort of thing; the older brothers and sisters, when I was growing up, turned into hippies, and one of the hippie tenets to which they most tenaciously clung was the idea of "better living though chemistry;" pharmaceuticals could cure all.
As if life-style decisions weren't important any more; one could do whatever one wished to do, and when the consequences began showing, well, there was the kindly doctor to give them pills for it.
Through the decades, I had ample up-close first-hand opportunity to see what happens to people who have that attitude, and it was never pretty. Every night before I go to bed, I fervently pray, "Oh God,
please don't let me end like
them [the older siblings], as big as king-sized waterbed mattresses, bloated enormously from retained water. Please God, if I have to go before my time, make it be by violent crime or bloody accident; anything, anything but
that."
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It's a pretty safe bet that all primitives to one degree or another are hypochondrial; after all, one of the primary "needs" of a primitive is the need to be a victim, a victim of something, anything, and victim of an illness is a pretty safe victimhood.
There's also the primitive emotional need to be "special." But primitives don't want to become special being exceptionally heroic or doing courageous deeds; that's too much work. It's just easier to sit back getting special attention, special treatment, being ill.
Tied to that is another emotional need of the primitives; to be a burden upon other people. And what better--and easier--way, than by imposing on their time and pocketbooks? Primitives on the public dole appear especially wont to be this way. "Look, I'm so special other people have to pay a lot of money to keep me around."
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The hypochondrial primitive, the "mopinko" primitive, is perhaps the best example of all of the above; she's alleged to have had every disease and affliction known in the history of mankind, including prostate problems and hemophilia.
She's "had" the West Nile virus, and any day now, she's going to have the East Nile virus, the North Nile virus, and the South Nile virus.
She gets everything excepting, alas, terminal diseases.
But the mopinko primitive's not the only one; another good example is dear old sweet Lu of the cooking and baking forum. Like the mopinko primitive, she's a stay-at-home wife while befuddled bewhiskered Bill, he with the countenance of a Pennsylvania Dutch farmer, brings home the bacon. And like the mopinko primitive, dear old sweet Lu dabbles in "art," neglecting her responsibilities as hostess of the cooking and baking forum.
Among dear old sweet Lu's encyclopedia of ailments is "sleep deprivation," probably because of excess poundage and that for some odd reason, she sleeps during the day and is up all night. There's an easy cure for that--losing weight and sleeping at night like one's supposed to--but she'd just as soon the taxpayers through Medicare pick up all these tabs for pharmaceuticals; it makes her feel "special," other people having to spend money on her.
A third one would be the little-known (in the DUmpster) "auntAgonist" primitive, who's been battling haemorrhoids ever since Dwight Eisenhower was president; she's that old.
Her problem is one of the easiest to fix, but yet she won't do it. She's bashful about displaying her, uh, rectal aperture for a doctor to inspect and jam something in there to permanently fix it--never mind that to most doctors, rectal apertures are nothing new to them, and they only rarely see something they haven't seen before. There's nothing to be embarrassed about, pulling down the pants and bending over in front of a physician.
But no, it's just easier to demand pills.....especially if the taxpayers (or other insurance customers) foot the bill.
