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Offline BlueStateSaint

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This may be a repost--the 2013 Darwin Awards!
« on: January 04, 2014, 11:44:15 AM »
The Daily Sheeple linked to a blog called My Underwood Typewriter for this one.  (Vesta, no stories a bout typewriters, please!)

Quote
The 2013 Darwin Awards Are Out!
Posted on August 20, 2013 by Jim G.

The 2013 Darwins Are Out!!!!

     Yes, it’s that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.

Here Is The Glorious Winner:

1. When his .38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

And Now, The Honorable Mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef’s claim was approved. Saint's note:  I can see that happening.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her. Completely understandable, seeing the snowstorms we got lately.

This one is the best! 4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn’t discovered for 3 days.

The other six are here:  http://jdgroover.wordpress.com/2013/08/20/the-2013-darwin-awards-are-out/

Sometimes, all you can do is this:  :thatsright: :mental:
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Offline vesta111

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Re: This may be a repost--the 2013 Darwin Awards!
« Reply #1 on: January 04, 2014, 05:16:50 PM »
Quote from: BlueStateSaint on January 04, 2014, 11:44:15 AM
The Daily Sheeple linked to a blog called My Underwood Typewriter for this one.  (Vesta, no stories a bout typewriters, please!)

The other six are here:  http://jdgroover.wordpress.com/2013/08/20/the-2013-darwin-awards-are-out/

Sometimes, all you can do is this:  :thatsright: :mental:

Sorry about this but this brings to mind the story about how the typewriter was invented.

Check your keyboard, just like a typewriter, but who had designed the darn thing ?

Why a Q next to a W and the M next to the N ?    Seems the original layout was much different and changed for a reason.  I have searched high and low for a picture of the original lay out and why it was changed. 

As for the story about the bus passengers spending 3 days in a mental hospital, I thought this was all too funny until I began to wonder if this happened to me, it would be months before I got home.     
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Offline Bad Dog

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Re: This may be a repost--the 2013 Darwin Awards!
« Reply #2 on: January 04, 2014, 05:35:50 PM »
BSS, I know your mom told you not to pick at cause it will just get worst (sic).  Well she told you so.
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Offline obumazombie

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Re: This may be a repost--the 2013 Darwin Awards!
« Reply #3 on: January 04, 2014, 09:20:06 PM »
How much of an honor is it that vesta got in the first reply ?
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Offline Freeper

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Re: This may be a repost--the 2013 Darwin Awards!
« Reply #4 on: January 04, 2014, 09:29:14 PM »
Quote from: vesta111 on January 04, 2014, 05:16:50 PM
Sorry about this but this brings to mind the story about how the typewriter was invented.

Check your keyboard, just like a typewriter, but who had designed the darn thing ?

Why a Q next to a W and the M next to the N ?    Seems the original layout was much different and changed for a reason.  I have searched high and low for a picture of the original lay out and why it was changed. 

As for the story about the bus passengers spending 3 days in a mental hospital, I thought this was all too funny until I began to wonder if this happened to me, it would be months before I got home.     

Blue State Saint brought this on himself by asking you not to.
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Offline BlueStateSaint

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Re: This may be a repost--the 2013 Darwin Awards!
« Reply #5 on: January 05, 2014, 06:17:30 AM »
Quote from: Freeper on January 04, 2014, 09:29:14 PM
Blue State Saint brought this on himself by asking you not to.

 :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright:

I thought it might keep her away.

 :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright:

Boy, was I wrong.

:thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright: :thatsright:
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Offline MrsSmith

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Re: This may be a repost--the 2013 Darwin Awards!
« Reply #6 on: January 05, 2014, 09:40:09 AM »
Quote
The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef’s claim was approved.

Stories like this can get Darwin awards????? Well, darn!  We've had a good one, but it was a couple years ago so I suppose it's too late.  A friend of a friend works in a metal shop, one of his coworkers smashed his hand in a machine that supposedly had all the safety stuff in good working order.  After a few weeks off and a couple surgeries, the guy comes back to work.  The first thing his supervisor and the owner do is take him over to his machine and ask him to show them how he smashed his hand.  You guess it, he did it again.   :thatsright:  Last I heard, they weren't sure they could get it fixed the second time.  There should be some way to disallow Disability for Darwin Award candidates...   ::)
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Offline Jmartin

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Re: Re: This may be a repost--the 2013 Darwin Awards!
« Reply #7 on: January 05, 2014, 10:18:58 AM »
I love the Darwin Awards.
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Offline Bad Dog

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Re: Re: This may be a repost--the 2013 Darwin Awards!
« Reply #8 on: January 05, 2014, 10:27:47 AM »
Quote from: Jmartin on January 05, 2014, 10:18:58 AM
I love the Darwin Awards.

I was so pissed when the Mythbusters proved you couldn't fly a Camaro into a mountainside with JATO rockets.  Made me suspect all the Darwins.
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Offline Purple Sage

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Re: This may be a repost--the 2013 Darwin Awards!
« Reply #9 on: January 05, 2014, 10:37:50 AM »
I thought one had to be deceased to win a Darwin?
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Offline Freeper

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Re: This may be a repost--the 2013 Darwin Awards!
« Reply #10 on: January 05, 2014, 11:01:44 AM »
Quote from: Purple Sage on January 05, 2014, 10:37:50 AM
I thought one had to be deceased to win a Darwin?

Not always, you have to at a minimum make it so you can't reproduce, like getting your penis cut off.

The people who didn't die, normally get honorable mention, not the DW.
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Offline BlueStateSaint

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Re: Re: This may be a repost--the 2013 Darwin Awards!
« Reply #11 on: January 06, 2014, 09:04:43 AM »
Quote from: Bad Dog on January 05, 2014, 10:27:47 AM
I was so pissed when the Mythbusters proved you couldn't fly a Camaro into a mountainside with JATO rockets.  Made me suspect all the Darwins.

You were thinking about doing it, right? :tongue: :whistling:
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"Timid men prefer the calm of despotism to the tempestuous sea of Liberty." - Thomas Jefferson

"All you have to do is look straight and see the road, and when you see it, don't sit looking at it - walk!" -Ayn Rand
 
"Those that trust God with their safety must yet use proper means for their safety, otherwise they tempt Him, and do not trust Him.  God will provide, but so must we also." - Matthew Henry, Commentary on 2 Chronicles 32, from Matthew Henry's Commentary on the Whole Bible

"These anti-gun fools are more dangerous to liberty than street criminals or foreign spies."--Theodore Haas, Dachau Survivor

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Offline Eupher

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Re: This may be a repost--the 2013 Darwin Awards!
« Reply #12 on: January 06, 2014, 10:11:39 AM »
Quote from: Purple Sage on January 05, 2014, 10:37:50 AM
I thought one had to be deceased to win a Darwin?

Yeah, the sole criterion is to do something so incredibly stupid as to remove oneself from the gene pool. This can be achieved by death, or by removing the capacity to procreate.

I don't know if any Darwin Award winner won the thing after having had children, though.  :confused:

Not that it matters -- there is no shortage of stupid people on the planet.
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Offline Purple Sage

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Re: This may be a repost--the 2013 Darwin Awards!
« Reply #13 on: January 06, 2014, 11:10:52 AM »
Quote from: Eupher on January 06, 2014, 10:11:39 AM
Yeah, the sole criterion is to do something so incredibly stupid as to remove oneself from the gene pool. This can be achieved by death, or by removing the capacity to procreate.

I don't know if any Darwin Award winner won the thing after having had children, though.  :confused:

Not that it matters -- there is no shortage of stupid people on the planet.

Thanks for the explanation.  :)
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Offline wasp69

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Re: This may be a repost--the 2013 Darwin Awards!
« Reply #14 on: January 06, 2014, 12:33:48 PM »
Quote from: vesta111 on January 04, 2014, 05:16:50 PM
Sorry about this but this brings to mind the story about how the typewriter was invented.

Check your keyboard, just like a typewriter, but who had designed the darn thing ?

Why a Q next to a W and the M next to the N ?    Seems the original layout was much different and changed for a reason.  I have searched high and low for a picture of the original lay out and why it was changed. 

As for the story about the bus passengers spending 3 days in a mental hospital, I thought this was all too funny until I began to wonder if this happened to me, it would be months before I got home.     

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Offline Bad Dog

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Re: This may be a repost--the 2013 Darwin Awards!
« Reply #15 on: January 06, 2014, 12:41:53 PM »
Quote from: wasp69 on January 06, 2014, 12:33:48 PM


Vesta has renewed my faith in a higher power.  Not the DU, FR, Stormfront, Ronpaul, or even "the Rove" could design a mole such as this,
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Offline BlueStateSaint

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Re: This may be a repost--the 2013 Darwin Awards!
« Reply #16 on: January 06, 2014, 01:45:12 PM »
Quote from: wasp69 on January 06, 2014, 12:33:48 PM

H5 for correctly showing my thoughts.
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"All you have to do is look straight and see the road, and when you see it, don't sit looking at it - walk!" -Ayn Rand
 
"Those that trust God with their safety must yet use proper means for their safety, otherwise they tempt Him, and do not trust Him.  God will provide, but so must we also." - Matthew Henry, Commentary on 2 Chronicles 32, from Matthew Henry's Commentary on the Whole Bible

"These anti-gun fools are more dangerous to liberty than street criminals or foreign spies."--Theodore Haas, Dachau Survivor

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Offline Wineslob

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Re: This may be a repost--the 2013 Darwin Awards!
« Reply #17 on: January 07, 2014, 04:24:56 PM »
I wish to congratulate Vesta on making this thread win the Darwin Award.
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Offline Purple Sage

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Re: This may be a repost--the 2013 Darwin Awards!
« Reply #18 on: January 08, 2014, 02:43:32 PM »
Quote from: Wineslob on January 07, 2014, 04:24:56 PM
I wish to congratulate Vesta on making this thread win the Darwin Award.

She's dead, Jim.
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Offline Eupher

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Re: This may be a repost--the 2013 Darwin Awards!
« Reply #19 on: January 08, 2014, 04:42:26 PM »
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Offline dixierose

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Re: This may be a repost--the 2013 Darwin Awards!
« Reply #20 on: January 09, 2014, 02:44:26 PM »
It seems like story #4 (the bus driver with mental patients) gets around every year. I KNOW this is not the first time I've heard this...
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Offline obumazombie

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Re: This may be a repost--the 2013 Darwin Awards!
« Reply #21 on: January 12, 2014, 03:18:04 AM »
Quote from: dixierose on January 09, 2014, 02:44:26 PM
It seems like story #4 (the bus driver with mental patients) gets around every year. I KNOW this is not the first time I've heard this...
The ones that suffocated in the bus on the GW bridge because Christie personally stepped in front of traffic and jammed it into gridlock ?
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Offline biersmythe

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Re: Re: This may be a repost--the 2013 Darwin Awards!
« Reply #22 on: January 12, 2014, 10:35:08 AM »
Quote from: Bad Dog on January 05, 2014, 10:27:47 AM
I was so pissed when the Mythbusters proved you couldn't fly a Camaro into a mountainside with JATO rockets.  Made me suspect all the Darwins.

Yea some variant of most that are on this years list have been on other years. The thief with the cinder block a few years ago was a brick....same scenario.
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Offline freedumb2003b

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Re: This may be a repost--the 2013 Darwin Awards!
« Reply #23 on: January 12, 2014, 10:36:29 AM »
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Offline obumazombie

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Re: This may be a repost--the 2013 Darwin Awards!
« Reply #24 on: January 13, 2014, 07:21:25 PM »
Quote from: freedumb2003b on January 12, 2014, 10:36:29 AM
No!

Please tell me no!

The dead pool might hold the key.
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