Does anyone know what this vacuous cooch claims to be the actual cause of her fake PTSD? Was her cardboard box blown away and she had to move in with her sisters or something? I missed everything before her cash register robbing days.
Well, let's see:
The Joplin tornado damaged her apartment building, forcing her and dreamboat Dave out into the cold Missouri August night. Where temperatures can drop to unbelievable lows of around 75 F.
Then, her and the dreamboat decided to take a walk. To Oregon, or Washington. In late September. They got as far as the Kansas/Missouri border.
After turning around they
plopped into Springfield, MO (Much like a cow patty on a road). A regional and good sized city in SW MO, that Amber was, like, totally unaware of even tho' it's like on every roadmap, even Google Maps and is, like, the 4th largest city in Missouri.
After hanging around in Springfield for some months, an old friend of dreamboat Dave advised him to pull up anchor (Amber?) and head to Tucson were greener VA bennies were sprouting like clover and off they went. Don't know if they walked or took a bus or road a magic carpet, but they got to Tucson and Dave's disabilities scored them a section 8 apartment and other cool stuff. Notice that I left off the descriptor "dreamboat" from Dave's name? That's because in Tucson, the devil hisself got aholt of Dave and said some really nasty thangs about Amber. The devil's name was Evil Chad.
Well, as the saga continues, Amber, tossed out of cohabitation with the apostate Dave, went begging to her sisters in Joplin. The sisters, wanting to help poor Amber and to possibly get free labor and rent money out of her ample hide, sent her bus ticket money with the stipulation it was a loan. So off Amber went on another exciting adventure, retracing her and the apostate Dave's trek south in a northerly direction, bound into servitude to her evil sisters in Joplin, MO.
In Joplin, Amber's on line life turned into a real drag. Amber do this, Amber do that. Amber you have to scrub the crusted egg off the plates when you wash them and pick up all the dirty clothes and wash them in the tub out back by the sewer creek. Well, Amber had had just about enough of that. She found her escape at the Shop & Go convenience store. Amber figured out that the reason her sisters were bossin' her around was because they had jobs and Amber didn't. Ha! she showed them, but the sister-bossin' didn't stop. Amber figured out the cost of a bus ticket back to Tucson and a showdown with Evil Chad and apostate Dave. Trouble at the job forced her to give her today (not two days) notice, something about $70 on the register receipt tape, but not in the till. But luckily, Amber had a benefactor to front her the oneway bus ticket money to Tucson where life was good and apostate Dave could be reverted to a dreamboat after Evil Chad was taken out of the picture and left for the coyotes in the desert.
There you have it, DD, in an unabridged, condensed form. If I left anything out, blame it on LFR, the dirty little thief.
