Harmony Blue (3,363 posts)
I refuse to apologize for being male
and there is no rape culture here on DU. If there is please provide a link.
Cali_Democrat (18,424 posts)
1. Who asked you to apologize for being male?
LeftyMom (45,013 posts)
3. The imaginary shrill feminists who live in his head.
It's a bit sad, really.
Response to Cali_Democrat (Reply #1)
TheBlackAdder (550 posts)
68. Is this a sign of repressed guilt from a prior behaviors? n/t
RobertEarl (5,144 posts)
4. Not much on DU
But in our country there sure is quite a cultural acceptance of rape.
And we men should make sure that acceptance changes to no acceptance.
Starry Messenger (23,023 posts)
11. Gosh, only one video to make hurt male feefees
For a week now? LOL.
Yeah.
DU you males can be such little bitches.
LumosMaxima (366 posts)
17. Women aren't going to apologize for
bringing attention to the problem of rape and working to change our culture, either.
Welcome to my ignore list.
BainsBane (21,961 posts)
18. Is DU somehow immune to rape culture?
So when all those guys come into threads to insist that the accused rapist is innocent and the victim a liar, that's a figment of my imagination. When they insist women should dress appropriately, not drink, and not go out after dark if they don't want to be raped, that has absolutely nothing to do with rape culture. When they insist that rape prevention PSAs that mention the word men, once, are "misandrist" and the only acceptable rape prevention campaigns are those that seek to control women's behavior, that's not rape culture. "When they misrepresent the facts to insist false allegations of rape are commonplace, that isn't rape culture. When they insist rape isn't really a problem because it's prevalence in the population has declined with other violent crimes, that isn't rape culture. When someone says that a rape victim who had the nerve to report her rapist to police should get what's coming to her, that's not rape culture. When men insist women shut up about rape and domestic violence because the posts are illegitimate if they aren't about male victims, that isn't rape culture.
Only it is. Rape culture defined: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_culture
No one need apologize for being male. Nor is being male an excuse for denying the existence of something as obvious as rape culture because frankly most men are not that out of it. One might like certain individuals to consider that lives besides their own have some value, but then some people are simply not predisposed to care about anyone who isn't exactly like them. I however know what I'm dealing with, so I expect exactly nothing. I don't seek an apology. I am instead eternally grateful I do not have to encounter them in my real life.
sir pball (1,565 posts)
26. How about refusing to excuse maleness?
I'm sure you know I don't hang out in Men's Issues, nor am I an MRA; I certainly didn't take any offense to the Indian PSA.
But...I'm a man, I have a penis, and I'll cheerfully admit I want all the sex*! And I also know, as deeply in my being as I can know anything, that I don't have any right to take it from a woman, any more than I have a right to hit a random person on the head and take their wallet. If I want the sex I need to behave in such a way that will make the woman with whom I wish to make the two-backed beast also feel the same. Her vagina belongs to her, and if I want to be in it she better damned well want it that way.
BainsBane (21,961 posts)
29. I want sex too
I see no problem in your wanting sex, or wanting sex with women. I'm pretty fond of sex myself. I see nothing to excuse.
Carrots and coffee never taste good the second time around.
sir pball (1,565 posts)
33. Because, well, see my direct response
Apparently thinking sex is a currency that we can all trade equally without being expected is "Put Out Or Get Out Male Thinking"
What's wrong with that?
BainsBane (21,961 posts)
36. I see
I think it's unfortunate. Sex should be something that's shared. Women (at least I do) want sex every bit as much as men do. We tend to be more discriminating about with whom we have it, but that's not universal either. My advice for any man who thinks women don't want enough sex is to focus more on pleasing your partner and ask her what that takes. I think then you'll find she wants it every bit as much as you do.
I don't want a partner.
I want sex.
Katashi_itto (3,890 posts)
73. The concept of a male having an "enlightened attitude" is beyond the immagination of a number
Last edited Sun Dec 29, 2013, 12:55 AM - Edit history (1)
of the ultrafermnists on DU
Ms. Toad (10,367 posts)
97. No - it was the gender stereotypes embeddeded in at least two descriptions
women as gatekeepers who bestow sexual favors, and a man whose obligation it is to "make her choose"
Granted, sir pball said he would not force himself on a woman, but the description - at least twice - was not one of an equal, freely chosen, sexual relationship. And, although I do not think he consciously meant it - "make her choose" to "put out" is an express statement of force. (One of the emotional aspects of rape is that the rapist often creates a false choice - one in which he makes the survivor "choose" to "put out" because the alternative "choice" (I will do the same thing to your sister; I will kill you; etc.) is worse.)
Talking about the nature of consensual sexual relationships using the language of force, and stereotypical gatekeeper/gatecrasher roles when is part of rape culture. Making it conscious - as seabeyond did by challenging it (resulting in the poster's self-awareness and change in how he described those consensual interactions) is part of what is necessary to change rape culture. And trivializing and denigrating those who point it out makes it harder to change.
TroglodyteScholar (4,998 posts)
105. So by acknowledging, and even insisting, that a woman has a choice...
This poster has offended you. Wow.
Sooooooooooooooo... if you remove the choice from the woman, it seems to me like that would be rape.
Ms. Toad (10,367 posts)
115. No. What he said was that it was his responsibility to
MAKE HER choose him (and hers to put out). That dynamic was expressed in two separate subthreads, and (initially) repeated (and rationalized) without any understanding of why it was setting off flags.
The language embeds both sexual stereotypes (woman as gatekeeper, which the man has to break through in order to get some), and expressly uses the language of force ("make her") when describing a choice where none should be involved.
That dynamic - and the fact that it was being used without any awareness of it (it had to be pointed out by at least two other people) is part of the rape culture that is being dismissed.
RobertEarl (5,144 posts)
22. Are you not man enough?
You can't even admit that we do have a culture that winks at rape? A real man will admit that women have reason to be afraid of being raped and not having justice served properly for the crime committed against them.
Well, whatever you do makes sure no woman ever has the means to defend herself; just makes sure any innocent human lives created from the tragedy are summarily terminated.
That's how you prove you care about women.
Scootaloo (9,038 posts)
25. Could you apologize for being intentionally dense, then?
I mean, I'm pretty sure it's intentional, 'cause if it were incidental i'm not sure you could have figured out how to post this particular turd-stirrer.
Speaking of turd-stirrers...
...how come gay men are never accused of contributed to the rape culture when they ogle their sexual objects?
RobertEarl (5,144 posts)
35. It's reactionary
Some DU women are quite effective at rubbing men's faces in the dirt.
It challenges their masculinity; "How dare they talk to men that way!!"
Yet, somehow, they still think it's wrong to hit girls.
BainsBane (21,961 posts)
49. It doesn't take much for some to feel attacked either
As a poster upthread observed, one little video for all this angst.
Says the harpy who squawks that any disagreement enables rape.
RobertEarl (5,144 posts)
51. Entitlement
Men feel they are entitled to deference being that we have sacrificed much. But real men do not, and can take whatever Truth is dished on them.
Having not seen the video I can't comment on that.
So...
...if you accept whatever the Ku Klux Klams allege then you admit to being part of a rape culture. If you deny you accept a rape culture you aren't a reall man but merely an someone with a sense of entitlement...
...who enables the rape culture.
Anyone professing their innocence is confessing their guilt.
Agschmid (5,263 posts)
34. I'm gay... Just putting that out there.
These DU sex wars go way above my head...
JI7 (43,615 posts)
43. are you a woman ? because many of these issues affect lgbt women also
Agschmid (5,263 posts)
44. Only on Thursday nights at tilt.
BainsBane (21,961 posts)
76. you know what they say
pictures or it didn't happen.
Agschmid (5,263 posts)
80. I'm sure I'll regret this later when someone uses it for DU blackmail...
And it goes on like that.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/10024243816
