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Author Topic: Word salad from Hubert Flottz (working for DOTY 2014)  (Read 950 times)

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Offline Ralph Wiggum

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Word salad from Hubert Flottz (working for DOTY 2014)
« on: December 26, 2013, 03:39:02 PM »
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Hubert Flottz (37,272 posts)

I told my grand children that Santa wouldn't be here this year because...


Santa stopped first in central Florida and was gunned down, in a preemptive attack, by some guy named Zimmy, who claimed that he'd thought Santa was a home invader. The local police spokes person said, "No charges will be filed against Mr. Clause's assailant, at this time. No more comments or questions! This case is closed!"

The grandkids all said, "We knew who Zimmy is PaPaw, because we've all seen Zimmy on TV, millions and billions of times. After I'd admonished the children thoroughly for exaggerating. I just thought, thanks to Big Brown, my quick thinking and the American "News" media's constant impressing(brainwashing)of my young grandchildren, with so many gruesome and sensational soap and tampon selling details. I really saved a bundle this holiday season!

Hippy New Year...

:wtf2: :wtf2: :wtf2: :wtf2:
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Offline wasp69

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Re: Word salad from Hubert Flottz (working for DOTY 2014)
« Reply #1 on: December 26, 2013, 03:44:03 PM »
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Hubert Flottz (37,272 posts)

I told my grand children that Santa wouldn't be here this year because...

Santa stopped first in central Florida and was gunned down, in a preemptive attack, by some guy named Zimmy, who claimed that he'd thought Santa was a home invader.

A cheap and pathetic attempt at humor, to be sure.  If I hadn't heard several "parents" brag of how they ended the Santa myth in their house by hiding all of the presents on Christmas morning because Santa had decided the children had been bad, I'd probably have just shaken my head and wandered on.  He wouldn't be the first DUmbass I've seen hurt a child out of spite.
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"We make men without chests and expect of them virtue and enterprise. We laugh at honor and are shocked to find traitors in our midst. We castrate and then bid the geldings to be fruitful."

C.S. Lewis

A community may possess all the necessary moral qualifications, in so high a degree, as to be capable of self-government under the most adverse circumstances; while, on the other hand, another may be so sunk in ignorance and vice, as to be incapable of forming a conception of liberty, or of living, even when most favored by circumstances, under any other than an absolute and despotic government.

John C Calhoun, "Disquisition on Government", 1840

Offline USA4ME

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Re: Word salad from Hubert Flottz (working for DOTY 2014)
« Reply #2 on: December 26, 2013, 03:45:28 PM »
One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to DisneyLand, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said, "DisneyLand burned down."

He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke.

I started to drive over to the real DisneyLand, but it was getting pretty late.

- Jack Handy

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