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Author Topic: DUchebag to become a Celebrity  (Read 6312 times)

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Offline MoshMasterD

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DUchebag to become a Celebrity
« on: December 25, 2013, 10:15:07 AM »
Something tells me "mole" but....

LINKO

Quote
Coolest Ranger (446 posts)

I'm going to get to become a celebrity
hey guys, I have really enjoyed my time here on Democratic Underground. So many people have made this a wonderful place to hang out at, but sadly I'm going to have to stay away from democratic underground from now on. My contract is coming this weekend and I got a sneak peek at it and I'm super excited.

Here's part of what I posted on my facebook page

1. Eventually, a public official fan page will be created. Why you ask? My agency wants me to become a well known celebrity believe it or not. I still have trouble believing it. As you know in the business image is every thing. I'm going to have to be careful about what I say online. So sadly for me I can't get in any more facebook fights with people. I will eventually have an assistant be in charge of the page and I will instruct them to ban anyone who has problems with my sexuality or my political views.

2. Media interviews. yes you read right, maybe not next year but I'm anticipating that in 2015 I will be giving a lot of media interviews promoting my film and television projects. So starting in January I have more incentive to drop this weight. Let's face it, I don't want to go on TV looking like the way I do. I'm conscious about the way I look so hopefully god willing I'll be at my goal weight of 215 by the time I have to give my first interview.

3. An official web site will be built for me sometime next year. Another incentive for me to drop this weight is I have to have some professional pictures made for me to put on my web site. You'll be able to keep up with movie projects I'm writing, TV projects I'm writing and any media appearances I will be making in the future.

4. Charity work. My contact spells out that I must do charity work in order to increase the value of my name and more then likely you will be seeing me do charity work for the Trevor project. They work with at risk gay and lesbian youth and that's an issue near and dear to my heart. Coming out is hard on any person and I can only imagine how hard it is for a young person trying to figure out what to do.

So there you have it boys and girls. That's a taste of what is coming down the pipe for me. I don't know how much longer I'll be able to shoot the breeze with you but I'll enjoy you while I can. I'll hang out here as much as I can but when things start getting real busy for you I won't be able to sneak and log on and shoot the breeze with you folks.

Merry Christmas. I love you all and I wish you the best of luck DU.

Uh huh, yeah right.  Suprised DUchebags didn't come out to question this because of post count.
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Offline Billiam Pitts

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Re: DUchebag to become a Celebrity
« Reply #1 on: December 25, 2013, 10:22:02 AM »
That DUmmie newbie is begging to be wallduded.
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Offline Zathras

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Re: DUchebag to become a Celebrity
« Reply #2 on: December 25, 2013, 11:32:50 AM »
Ahh, yet another DUmbass who doesn't realize the internet is forever. Time to collect this DUmbasses posts and file them away before he takes the cowards way and deletes them.
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Offline DLR Pyro

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Re: Re: DUchebag to become a Celebrity
« Reply #3 on: December 25, 2013, 12:08:45 PM »
Why does the soon to be a celebrity DUmmy have to stay away from DU. Is it that toxic that it may tarnish his image?
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Offline hillneck

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Re: DUchebag to become a Celebrity
« Reply #4 on: December 25, 2013, 12:14:41 PM »
Given the moonbat ways of Hollyweird, I figure being on DUmbass Central would actually help him.
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Offline Big Dog

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Re: DUchebag to become a Celebrity
« Reply #5 on: December 25, 2013, 12:22:20 PM »
If I read it correctly, a fat cocksucker is convinced he is about to become famous.

Is John Waters coming out of retirement to make The Andy Stephenson Story?
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Offline Delmar

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Re: DUchebag to become a Celebrity
« Reply #6 on: December 25, 2013, 12:22:26 PM »
Quote
My agency wants me to become a well known celebrity believe it or not.
Quote
I will eventually have an assistant be in charge of the page and I will instruct them to ban anyone who has problems with my sexuality or my political views.
Quote
An official web site will be built for me sometime next year.

All the fame isn't expected to come until 2015 and already it sounds like Coolest Ranger has a whole entourage of sycophantic hangers-on buzzing around him and trying to glom on to their own little piece of his show business magic.

Maybe--since he mentions weight loss and a one year time delay--Coolest Ranger is going to be a contestant on the TV show The Biggest Loser.  More likely, this is total BS from start to finish.
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Offline GOBUCKS

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Re: DUchebag to become a Celebrity
« Reply #7 on: December 25, 2013, 12:32:07 PM »
It's just a no-name DUmmy suffering from Bulna envy.
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Offline BattleHymn

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Re: DUchebag to become a Celebrity
« Reply #8 on: December 25, 2013, 12:56:36 PM »
His agent must have located his name in the annals of the United States Achievement Academy or the Outstanding Students of America. 

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Offline USA4ME

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Re: DUchebag to become a Celebrity
« Reply #9 on: December 25, 2013, 12:58:27 PM »
Quote from: Zathras on December 25, 2013, 11:32:50 AM
Ahh, yet another DUmbass who doesn't realize the internet is forever. Time to collect this DUmbasses posts and file them away before he takes the cowards way and deletes them.

From the twinkies profile page:

Quote from:
About Coolest Ranger

This is the guy known formally as loyalkydem. I'm Cordell Garrett, from North Carolina. I am an aspiring writer with several projects in development. I have been a democrat since 1992 and have voted democratic in every election since then. Once I obtain success as a writer my goal is to begin contributing to causes I believe in including cancer research, foundation for the blind and of course democratic candidates. Ultimately my goal is to create my own studio here in North Carolina, direct any film and television projects I want. It's my hope that I can do for liberals what other conservatives can do for right wing talk

.
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Offline Zathras

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Re: DUchebag to become a Celebrity
« Reply #10 on: December 25, 2013, 01:01:08 PM »
Quote from: Delmar on December 25, 2013, 12:22:26 PM
Coolest Ranger is going to be a contestant on the TV show The Biggest Loser.

He's a DUmbass. Even if he's the big winner on that show he will still be tied for "Biggest Loser" with the rest of the denizens of the DUmp.
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Offline Mike220

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Re: DUchebag to become a Celebrity
« Reply #11 on: December 25, 2013, 01:05:58 PM »
Meet Cordell... 7 tweets? Not gonna make it as a writer like that.

Cordell Garrett
@writerguydell
I am an aspiring writer being represented by ITM Talent and Management looking for opportunities to get established in the business.
Cofield, NC

https://twitter.com/writerguydell

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Offline USA4ME

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Re: DUchebag to become a Celebrity
« Reply #12 on: December 25, 2013, 01:11:17 PM »


 :rotf: :lmao: :rotf:

.
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Offline BattleHymn

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Re: DUchebag to become a Celebrity
« Reply #13 on: December 25, 2013, 01:15:21 PM »
Quote from: Mike220 on December 25, 2013, 01:05:58 PM



[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f8NrdlckO_E[/youtube]
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Offline Mike220

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Re: DUchebag to become a Celebrity
« Reply #14 on: December 25, 2013, 01:16:42 PM »
Quote from: BattleHymn on December 25, 2013, 01:15:21 PM
[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f8NrdlckO_E[/youtube]

Hahahaha!

H5
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Offline MoshMasterD

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Re: DUchebag to become a Celebrity
« Reply #15 on: December 25, 2013, 03:00:12 PM »
Quote from: Mike220 on December 25, 2013, 01:05:58 PM
Meet Cordell... 7 tweets? Not gonna make it as a writer like that.

Cordell Garrett
@writerguydell
I am an aspiring writer being represented by ITM Talent and Management looking for opportunities to get established in the business.
Cofield, NC

https://twitter.com/writerguydell


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Offline thundley4

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Re: DUchebag to become a Celebrity
« Reply #16 on: December 25, 2013, 03:25:19 PM »
https://www.facebook.com/cordell.garrett.5

Quote
Cordell Garrett
20 hours ago
I'm so holding back tears right now.
Like · Share
2 people like this.

Magicstar Net Works What's wrong, Cordell?
20 hours ago · Like

Dusty Trellis I'm so sorry this happened.
20 hours ago via mobile · Like

Angie Smith hope everything's ok
20 hours ago via mobile · Like

Cordell Garrett I have a family member who brags about my half brother but lifts no finger to help me when I need something. It breaks my heart to see her do this to me every week
20 hours ago · Like · 2

Sounds like he made that crap up just to get back at some relative.  Typical Dummie has crappy relationships with family members. He's going to disappear probably because he is soon to be homeless.
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Offline JakeStyle

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Re: DUchebag to become a Celebrity
« Reply #17 on: December 25, 2013, 03:56:40 PM »
Weird.
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Offline Condition1

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Re: DUchebag to become a Celebrity
« Reply #18 on: December 25, 2013, 04:45:46 PM »
I though he was already famous. Here is his publicity photo:
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Offline Big Dog

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Re: DUchebag to become a Celebrity
« Reply #19 on: December 25, 2013, 04:55:26 PM »
Cordell's "Hollywood Auditions" page: http://www.hollywoodauditions.com/cast/garrett_cordell.htm




Acting/Modeling Objectives:
Movies
Films
TV Shows
Commercials
Commercial Print

My interest is primarily drama and sci fi but I'm open to getting any type of work. I'm especially interested in working over seas in the New Zealand area on a series.

Experience:
n/a

Training:
n/a

Special Skills:
n/a


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Offline Traveshamockery

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Re: DUchebag to become a Celebrity
« Reply #20 on: December 25, 2013, 05:03:01 PM »
What a coincidence.  I'm waiting for a call from my agent as well because they want me to be a celebrity, too! 

Yay me!   :yahoo:

Seriously DUmbass, WTF? 
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Offline Chris_

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Re: DUchebag to become a Celebrity
« Reply #21 on: December 25, 2013, 05:17:07 PM »
Quote from: Traveshamockery on December 25, 2013, 05:03:01 PM
What a coincidence.  I'm waiting for a call from my agent as well because they want me to be a celebrity, too! 

Yay me!   :yahoo:
:hyper:

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Offline BannedFromDU

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Re: DUchebag to become a Celebrity
« Reply #22 on: December 25, 2013, 05:24:08 PM »

     This guy is why there are Nigerian email scams. He was reading an old copy of Screw, or Juggs, and he saw an ad in the back that said something like, "Be a Writer!" He sent in SASE with a photocopy of some dude's high school book report on Ethan Frome, and a money order for $19.95, and whomever got it thought, "I have a live one here."

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Offline Mr Mannn

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Re: DUchebag to become a Celebrity
« Reply #23 on: December 25, 2013, 05:26:26 PM »
I'm a celebrity too. But I just tweeted my retirement plans last night.
I know its a sad Christmas for millions of teeny-boppers, but a celeb has to do what a celeb has to do.
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Offline miskie

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Re: DUchebag to become a Celebrity
« Reply #24 on: December 25, 2013, 05:36:44 PM »
An overweight, moderately cross-eyed, black, gay dude.

Okay then.

The only thing I can think of is some sort of 'reality TV' program, as I suspect Hollywood will want nothing of him otherwise.

= Most reality TV shows spend more time tearing apart people than building them up. American Idol is a perfect example. Most who end up on the show have any chance of a career beyond a garage band ruined by it. Even half of the 'winners' end up kicked to the curb a year or two later. Good luck Cordell.
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