Author Topic: The New Ten Commandments  (Read 1137 times)

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Offline FiddlingAnt

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The New Ten Commandments
« on: November 21, 2013, 02:16:53 PM »
Earlier this month the Supreme Court heard a case brought to it by radical secularists complaining of prayers in city council meetings. This is just the latest action of secularists to remove religious speech from the public forum. For example, they have long wanted to eliminate the display of the Ten Commandments from any government property.  I guess the contents of the Ten Commandments are just too horrifying to read outside of a church or one's home.

So if secularists succeed in getting rid of religion in the public forum, perhaps they will take the next step and start promoting their own version of the Ten Commandments.

The Ten Commandments for Progressive Secularists

1 There is no Lord thy God. Thou shalt have no God before you.

 2 Thou shalt worship any graven image that makes you feel good, such as nice cars, clothes, sport teams, celebrities, progressive organizations, etc. Thou shalt bow down to them, and serve them.

 3 Thou shalt take the name of the Lord God in vain; for the Lord is just a made-up fable to suppress a libertine lifestyle and people that don't swear are just goodie-two-shoes.

 4 Forget the sabbath day and keeping it holy. Six days shalt thou labour, and do all thy work: But the seventh day is the day of the NFL thy God: in it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates. And Superbowl Sunday is the nation's high holy day.

 5 Honor thy government and the entitlements that emit therefrom: that thy days may be long upon the dole.

 6 Thou shalt not kill anyone convicted of murder, or animals or anything like unto it. Thou shalt kill unborn babies since they are inconvenient to a modern lifestyle.

 7 Thou shalt commit adultery, fornication, sodomy, or anything else that feels good, as long as you don't hurt anyone.

 8 Thou shalt not steal. Let the government do it for you and then get the money from them.

 9 Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor, unless it is for the greater good of society in general so there is nothing wrong in saying, ¨“If you like your doctor, you will be able to keep your doctor. Period. If you like your health care plan, you will be able to keep your health care plan. Period. No one will take it away. No matter what.”

 10 Thou shalt covet the One-Percent's house, thou shalt covet the One-Percent's wife, and his manservant, and his maidservant, and his ox, and his assets, and any thing that is from a One-Percenter.

Offline obumazombie

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Re: The New Ten Commandments
« Reply #1 on: November 21, 2013, 03:07:55 PM »
The Ten Condiments...

TBC.
I relish the thought.


edit add
« Last Edit: November 21, 2013, 08:22:27 PM by obumazombie »
There were only two options for gender. At last count there are at least 12, according to libs. By that standard, I'm a male lesbian.

Offline Freeper

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The New Ten Commandments
« Reply #2 on: November 21, 2013, 05:40:19 PM »
The fourth one is wrong, can you seriously imagine any leftist working for six days? Maybe you meant six hours a week.
I may not lock my doors while sitting at a red light and a black man is near, but I sure as hell grab on tight to my wallet when any democrats are close by.

Offline Freeper

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Re: The New Ten Commandments
« Reply #3 on: November 21, 2013, 05:41:56 PM »
Also the first one needs tweaked. The government is thy lord and god.
I may not lock my doors while sitting at a red light and a black man is near, but I sure as hell grab on tight to my wallet when any democrats are close by.

Offline FlaGator

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Re: The New Ten Commandments
« Reply #4 on: November 21, 2013, 05:42:46 PM »
They do have a god. It is the cash in other people's pockets. They worship it with all their heart and soul.
"My enemy's enemy is the enemy I kill last."
Klingon Proverb.