I guess it’s time that I fess up to the great ear candling disaster of 1996 that would have had me in the Top 10 if the DOTY had been in existence back then.
In 1996 I had never heard of ear candling, but I had a friend who was on an all-natural, homeopathic kick that swore by it. He told me that I should try it. I was reluctant. Although I don’t completely discount some of the all-natural, herbal type stuff, I could see no possible way that ear candling could be helpful. When he saw that I was skeptical he told me he’d give me two of the “candles†if I would give it a try. Now generally speaking, I’m the type of person who, if you tell me to stick something in my ear and set it on fire, will tell you to get lost, but for whatever reason (maybe that was back when I was drinking) I told him I’d try it and later that night I experienced the wonders of ear candling.
I got out the candles and read the instructions. If I remember correctly, I was supposed to cut a hole, just big enough for the small end of the candle to fit through, in a pie plate. Then stick the small end of the candle in my ear and light the large end of the candle.
My problem was that I didn’t have a pie plate. I didn’t have any type of plate other than dinner plates so I improvised.
Now let me say that I just figured that the pie plate was only to protect you from any gently falling ash from the top of the candle. I had no idea that it was, in essence, a barrier to protect you from lava.
Any way, since I didn’t have a pie plate I took a small plastic cup and cut a hole in the bottom of it. I laid down on the floor and told my wife to light the end of the candle. Soon thereafter is when the problems started.
I don’t know if I moved my head or what, but the part of the candle that was on fire broke from the rest of the candle and fell down to where the pie plate would have been IF I would have had a pie plate. Since I didn’t have a pie plate and since the small plastic cup that I did have was much smaller than a pie plate, the flaming piece of goodness missed the barrier and fell onto my arm.
My wife was in a position so that she couldn’t see where the fire fell. She just knew that it had fallen. I, on the other hand, knew immediately where it fell, but it posed a dilemma. If I screamed that it was on my arm I knew she would freak out and knock it from my arm onto the carpet. Also, I was scared to move because if I did it would fall onto the carpet. So, remaining as calm as I could, I simply asked her to hand me the cup and scooped the piece of candle into the cup.
Needless to say, when my wife saw my arm I had to listen to much ranting and raving, but I didn’t have to replace any carpet. I still have a scar on my arm.
Except for burning my arm ear candling didn’t do anything for me so my advice is to save your money.
