John.
John, John, John...
Don't be all butt hurt, dude.
Think of all the free time you'll have to talk politics with that butterball, idiot daughter of yours when you're no longer harried by that unforgiving Senator's schedule that oppresses you so.
Think of all the opportunities you'll have to tell the country how you lost your presidential bid to the guy who would quickly go on to depose Carter as the worst President in US history. (Gee John, what would that make you?)
Why John, if I were you, I wouldn't force myself to put up with another minute in proximity to that asshole Ted Cruz. Why, I'd show the world that my principles mean more to me than Ted Cruz's feelings, and I'd resign the Senate before I'd tolerate having to spend another minute caucusing with that man. I wouldn't wait for the next election, shipmate: I'd make that right wing bitch Jan Brewer try to find somebody as good as me to fill that seat.
Don't go away mad, John. Just go away.
