Has Gearhart Chevrolet Discovered Doug Bulna's Sabotage Yet? (1-year!)

[Ogre]

Oh man.....the thought of DUmmies running around on Halloween in costume.

We should pick out some costume ideas for them.

Lady Freedom Returns could dress up as a hobo....

How would you be able to tell when she was or wasn't in costume?

[franksolich]

Oh my.

I was again thinking about the brain-damaged primitive, and wondering if he's gone anywhere to get help, as he needs a lot of help, to straighten out the mess he's made of his life.

If I were a psychiatrist or law-enforcement, based solely upon the hate and rage and irrationality walrus-face has expressed over the years on Skins's island, I'd have him taken into protective custody and then chained to a wall of a fantasy hospital, so he can't hurt himself any more.

(All the other stuff he does in real life that we don't know about, would just be so much more gravy in getting him put away.)

But of course the brain-damaged primitive hasn't asked for help; after all, in his world-view, he's perfectly sane, and it's the rest of the world that's screwed up.

- - - - - - - - - -

franksolich got a "lesson" in what happens when one should ask for help, but doesn't, last night.

I was up all night long, waiting for a friend to arrive here.

The friend had telephoned earlier in the week, leaving a message.  I can't hear, but I saw the little red light on the answering-machine blinking, and was curious.  (Usually I wait until someone who can hear shows up, and listens to it, communicating the message to me.)  I turned the volume up to "max" and leaned over to plant my chin and throat on the machine, hoping to pick something up via bone-conduction.

I picked up part of it; that this friend was coming here Friday night.  There was a lot more than that to it, but I guessed I'd gotten the gist of the message.

Inbetweentimes, various people who could've listened to the message for me, were here.  All of them have listened to my telephone messages before, and not a single one of them considers it a problem, a nuisance, doing me this favor.

But pride and vanity were my downfall; I was "tired" of always asking for help, always having to lean on other people.  I'd gotten the message, so I didn't need any help.

I stayed up all night long Friday night, waiting for this friend to show. 

I missed my sleep, and I like sleep about as much as others like a good steak.

Finally, a little after 5:00 a.m., the neighbor showed up, bringing a tractor he's storing here for the winter, and seeing me still up, listened to the message for me.  The friend is in fact coming, but next Friday night.

I missed my sleep, and I like sleep about as much as others like a good steak.

Bad things happen to people when they should ask for help, but don't.

[franksolich]

Well, this thread has a month more to go, after which I'll retire it, since it's pretty much assured the permanent number one spot in "search results" on google, when someone--usually a prospective employer--looks up the brain-damaged primitive on the internet.

This whole kerfluffle could've been avoided if walrus-face had taken my advice from the first page, in which it was promised that if the brain-damaged primitive showed up on Skins's island after his employer and co-workers found out he'd been bad-mouthing them, to explain things and apologize to his fellow primitives for having been such a rectal aperture, that this thread would go nowhere.

But did the brain-damaged primitive pay any attention to franksolich?

- - - - - - - - - -

I see someone near the brain-damaged primitive recently won $457,000 in the New Jersey lottery, but it's not him because if it had been, walrus-face would be bragging it up on Skins's island.

You know, there's so many ways one can win in life's lottery, and one wonders why walrus-face has never considered that.  He's probably won a "jackpot" here and there, but ignored his good fortune because it didn't meet his narrow interpretation of "winning."

Take franksolich, for example.  I come from a family where male baldness seems to occur about the early 30s, all my (now late) hippie older brothers losing their precious strands. 

Well, I'm much older than my early 30s now, and that cup appears to have passed from me, still possessing thick luxuriant dark brown hair without an iota of grey.  It's very handy for disguising the absence of ears, making me look utterly normal.

I won the lottery in this respect, and I thank God every day of my life for it.

I can't think of any way in which walrus-face won this lottery or that lottery, but surely he must've won some things over his sixty-two years of life; he just has to think about it.

One can even snatch a "win" from the jaws of utter disaster.

For example, the brain-damaged primitive had to have part of the inside of his skull surgically removed; think of how much worse it would've been, if he'd had to have all of it removed, as what sometimes happens to other people.  He got off easy, but probably doesn't appreciate it.

Or for another example, apparently the brain-damaged primitive had to have one eye surgically removed; think of how much worse it would've been, if he'd had to have both of them removed, as what sometimes happens to other people.  Again, he got off easy, but probably doesn't appreciate it.

I suppose that's the difference between a primitive and a decent and civilized person; the decent and civilized person takes what life gives him, and makes the best of it, while a primitive ignores what he's been given and instead whines about what he didn't get.

- - - - - - - - - -

I'm reminded of an incident two summers ago, when I was standing out on the back porch, smoking a cigarette admiring the panorama of the slowly-awakening Sandhills of Nebraska.  It was about 5:00 a.m., and nobody comes out here to the middle of nowhere until after 6:00 a.m.

Then suddenly, a guy and a femme came walking out the back door.  (Since I'm deaf, I have no idea if someone's around.)  The guy was from the next county over, and had come by to pick up a piece of farm machinery the neighbor was loaning him.  Both are in their early 30s.  The femme was (is) strikingly good-looking even at that age, someone any red-blooded male would hop around with in the sack.

I wasn't concerned about the guy; I was concerned about her, being exposed as I was, and they were blocking my way back inside the house, where I could get decent.  Reverting to my nerves of steel and audacious confidence, I kept my eye-contact riveted on her, hoping she wouldn't notice, uh, other things.

The guy and I talked for three or four minutes, while he too puffed on a cigarette.  She just stood there and stared, I was hoping at my face.

Then they turned around and went to the garage, while I hurriedly donned a pair of gym shorts.

For the longest time, I worried about this, because she's a respectable woman and one wishes respectable people to think well of one.  I saw her a few times therafter, but said nothing, hoping she wouldn't remember.

But then this last summer, I learned I'd been a topic of conversation between her and another woman, in which the other woman said it was "too bad" franksolich was born without ears, deaf.  "Imagine what he could be, if he could only hear," she commented.

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about it," the first woman said; "after all, he won life's lottery in other ways."

I have no idea what she meant by that, but I assume it's good.

[BattleHymn]

I hope walrus face is getting as much enjoyment out of frank's updates every morning as I do. 

[franksolich]

I hope walrus face is getting as much enjoyment out of frank's updates every morning as I do. 

You know, besides reading Dale Carnegie and Norman Vincent Peale, I think the brain-damaged primitive would also learn a lot reading Elbert Hubbard.

[GOBUCKS]

I guess it should be an object of gratitude, losing only one eye out of two, and losing only a large portion of one's brain, but not all.

But I wonder what was contained in that big glob of cerebral tissue the surgeon excised. What was lost in that squishy double handful of quivering brain matter when the operating room nurse tossed it, splat, into the surgical waste bin?

That lost quarter of Doug's brain likely held the potential for Doug to behave like a decent, civilized person, along with miscellaneous stuff like piano lessons and details of personal hygiene learned from his mother.

The hospital's "hazardous waste" incinerator vaporized any chance for Doug to interact with normal people in an acceptable manner.

The popped eyeball was small potatoes by comparison.

[franksolich]

Some jewels from the Sage of East Aurora (upstate New York):

(Born in 1856, he went down with the Lusitania in 1915.)

Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.

A friend is one who knows you, and loves you just the same.

Responsibility is the price of freedom.

Never explain - your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway.

A little more persistence, a little more effort, and what seemed hopeless failure may turn to glorious success.

Positive anything is better than negative nothing.

The best preparation for good work tomorrow is to do good work today.

To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.

Every man is a damn fool for at least five minutes every day; wisdom consists in not exceeding the limit.

The teacher is the one who gets the most out of the lessons, and the true teacher is the learner.

One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man.

He who does not understand your silence will probably not understand your words.

Do your work with your whole heart, and you will succeed - there's so little competition.

God will not look you over for medals degrees or diplomas, but for scars.

Character is the result of two things: mental attitude and the way we spend our time.

Art is not a thing; it is a way.

The greatest mistake you can make in life is continually fearing that you'll make one.

Know what you want to do, hold the thought firmly, and do every day what should be done, and every sunset will see you that much nearer to your goal.

Be pleasant until ten o'clock in the morning and the rest of the day will take care of itself.

The love we give away is the only love we keep.

The final proof of greatness lies in being able to endure criticism without resentment.

How many a man has thrown up his hands at a time when a little more effort, a little more patience would have achieved success.

Life in abundance comes only through great love.

Our desires always disappoint us; for though we meet with something that gives us satisfaction, yet it never thoroughly answers our expectation.

Yeah, I think gaining inspiration from Elbert Hubbard would do walrus-face a great deal of good, even turn his life around.

One wonders if the brain-damaged primitive has a female relative or friend who knows stitching and emobroidery, who could sew these words of wisdom onto cloth mats, and have them framed for his walls.

[obumazombie]

^Awesome stuff Coach.

[BattleHymn]

That lost quarter of Doug's brain likely held the potential for Doug to behave like a decent, civilized person, along with miscellaneous stuff like piano lessons and details of personal hygiene learned from his mother.

The hospital's "hazardous waste" incinerator vaporized any chance for Doug to interact with normal people in an acceptable manner.

I've been immersed in studying the trepanation practices of the Pacific Islanders for a couple of months now.  Trepanation appears to have been done for a number of reasons.  Sometimes it was used to try to correct a sour attitude.

My question is which came first, Doug's bad attitude, or the removal of part of his brain?


I also wonder if afterwards, like the Pacific Islanders, his operating surgeon used a carefully carved piece of coconut shell to bung up the hole in his skull.

If so, I hope that Doug's surgeon took lessons in coconut shell carving from the Pacific Island masters, rather than just winging it.  I wouldn't want Doug's piece of coconut shell do be causing him any discomfort.

[franksolich]

^Awesome stuff Coach.

Elbert Hubbard was popular during the 1880s and 1890s, into the first decade of the twentieth century; he was oftentimes compared with his ideal, Benjamin Franklin.  This was during the Chautauqua era, the golden age of education and self-improvement.

He had a "colony" of "artists" and "intellectuals" living with him in a rustic setting; among other things, they produced fine handcrafted furniture, which sold for good prices in their day.

I used to have books of his, at the time circa 90 years old, until I decided to go to the socialist paradises of the workers and peasants, and gave them away.  These were no ordinary books; the "colony" didn't stint any money or quality putting them out.

[franksolich]

The google search results for today, October 27:





Remember, all of this could've been easily avoided if walrus-face had taken franksolich's advice and acted quickly the day after Labor Day, making a clean breast of things to his fellow primitives, and apologizing to them for having been such a rectal aperture.

Then this thread would've died soon after birth.

There's a downside to not taking franksolich's advice.

[obumazombie]

^Put me down for always taking Coach's advice !

[franksolich]

^Put me down for always taking Coach's advice !

I don't know why the primitives are so resistant to my advice and counsel.

franksolich's advice and counsel is strictly non-partisan.

As has been said about me s-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o many times in real life, there isn't a single malicious bone in this body.  Even if I wished to do harm, I couldn't do it, not having the means.

<<<doesn't offer advice to decent and civilized people, because decent and civilized people don't need to be reminded to not do something stupid.

[vesta111]

I don't know why the primitives are so resistant to my advice and counsel.

franksolich's advice and counsel is strictly non-partisan.

As has been said about me s-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o many times in real life, there isn't a single malicious bone in this body.

<<<Doesn't offer advice to decent and civilized people, because decent and civilized people don't need to be reminded to not do something stupid.

OH YES we/they do.     Most of us here think of our selves as decent and civilized, yet occasionally human nature kicks in.

It is said one cannot cheat a honest man,    WRONG     same as sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never harm me.

Both sayings some of us were brought up with have to have been placed in the minds of the innocent by the evil intent.

Do not think that the innocent and worthy are free from the evil intent of others.

Question here is if you had the means of evil intent------
" Even if I wished to do harm, I couldn't do it, not having the means."

Could there ever come a time when you were hoodwinked into something unusual ?

edited to clean up formatting only; no text was changed

[franksolich]

.....[was there ever] a time when you were hoodwinked into something unusual?

Oh my yes.

But I escaped whole and unscathed, due to some wondrous teflonesque skill in my being (God gave it to me; I didn't create it).

<<<can get out of predicaments faster than a pig sliding on ice.

[GOBUCKS]

As has been said about me s-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o many times in real life, there isn't a single malicious bone in this body.  Even if I wished to do harm, I couldn't do it, not having the means.

Some of the DUmmies, like poor addled grasswipe Judy Smith, remember dear Andy's tragic fate.

Just because there's no evidence doesn't mean it shouldn't be investigated.

[franksolich]

Well, I scoured Skins's island, looking to see if the brain-damaged primitive showed up the past few days, to making a clean breast of things to his fellow primitives, describing to them what happened, and apologizing to them for having been such a rectal aperture.

No sign of walrus-face, either under his usual screen-name or a new monicker.

One wonders if he's checked himself--voluntarily or involuntarily--into the psychiatric ward of a hospital; as God and we all know, he's got lots and lots of really serious psychological problems, and needs some heavy-duty help to turn his life around.

- - - - - - - - - -

One thing that's always mystified me about the brain-damaged primitive is that he made it a point to appear as ugly and repulsive as possible.  That, I could never understand.

Granted, walrus-face wasn't born aesthetic, but there's plenty of things he could've done, to minimize or even cover up his ugliness.  It's almost as if he were saying, "**** you world, I'm going to make myself as loathesome as possible."

And then he wondered why he was so friendless and alone.

I wonder what's up with that, people who have means to make themselves look better than they really are, but who choose instead to further uglify themselves.

[GOBUCKS]

One thing that's always mystified me about the brain-damaged primitive is that he made it a point to appear as ugly and repulsive as possible.  That, I could never understand.

Granted, walrus-face wasn't born aesthetic, but there's plenty of things he could've done, to minimize or even cover up his ugliness.  It's almost as if he were saying, "**** you world, I'm going to make myself as loathesome as possible."

I wonder what's up with that, people who have means to make themselves look better than they really are, but who choose instead to further uglify themselves.

Yeah, he could at least shave, scrub up, get a respectable haircut, and polish that glass eye to a high sheen.

But instead he works at looking like a slob.

Maybe the moonbats are actually on to something with that "self esteem" horseshit.

[vesta111]

Yeah, he could at least shave, scrub up, get a respectable haircut, and polish that glass eye to a high sheen.

But instead he works at looking like a slob.

Maybe the moonbats are actually on to something with that "self esteem" horseshit.

Beauty is in the glass eye of the beholder.   

[BlueStateSaint]

Beauty is in the glass eye of the beholder.  

That's H5-worthy.  Duly given.

[obumazombie]

Beauty is in the glass eye of the beholder.   

That's actually pretty good. I am pleasantly surprised. I may have to borrow that.

[franksolich]

Well, another night, and another day, have passed.

I checked the crime news and police blotters of urban northern New Jersey, but came up blank.

Either the brain-damaged primitive was caught before I started checking the news a few days ago, or he in fact did try something, but a quick-thinking mechanic at his former place of employment disarmed him, and walrus-face got put away as a mental, and not a criminal, case, in which instance it's not likely to be in the newspapers.

[franksolich]

Well, another night is history, and time for the brain-damaged primitive to pack up his tent and gear and make one more day's march nearer the mausoleum.

I'm wondering if walrus-face has something up his sleeve.

In the race for Top DUmmie of 2013, previous contenders such as the convenience store primitive, the locust primitive, the big guy from Omaha,   , Dennis the Menace, the Taverner primitive, &c., &c., &c. all seem to be fading in the stretch.

Leaving just nadin and the brain-damaged primitive out in front.

However.....nadin right now at the moment appears to be unvanquishable, and it would take something big, really big, to get walrus-face catapulted ahead of her.

Nominations for the top DUmmies begin on Thanksgiving Eve, about the same time this thread is going to be retired, having fulfilled its purpose.  There's ten days for nominations, and after that, another ten days for campaigning and voting.

One wonders if walrus-face is laying low, with the idea of doing something really big, really spectacular, really extraordinary, after nominations begin, so that when voting starts, he's way out in front.

I dunno.  It's just an idle speculation.

[GOBUCKS]

One thing that's always mystified me about the brain-damaged primitive is that he made it a point to appear as ugly and repulsive as possible.  That, I could never understand.

Doug is so unattractive, he would have looked right at home in Pitt's wedding party.

[Skul]

That cheap bastage probably tries to steal and hide the 3D glasses at a movie theater.
Then demands a 50% discount to boot.