Why?
Because Dougie, like all DUmpmonkiez, would go into a frothing tear about Mormon! stopping by the house on Thanksgiving. We would hear about it in a long rambling thread on the DUmp and it could spawn a whole new type of bouncy! Because, you see, the Mormons would really be part of the VRWC special detective team wearing body cameras that looked like Mormon buttons, and we could watch the footage of the Dougie interview and compare it to the Dougie story- thus, creating for one brief moment, the perfect ''Dougie" story.
It would be even better if another of the VRWCSDT dresses as a cop and jumped out of the bushes by Dougie's house and chased the Mormons off... to the applause of the neighborhood!
Geez... Get with the program, Tucker.