bitter old Vermontese cali primitive gives us a unique perspective

[franksolich]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10023388762

Oh my.

cali (84,484 posts)    Thu Aug 1, 2013, 06:34 PM

A Brief Meditation On Privilege And Poverty From A Sort Of Unique Perspective

I've thought about writing and posting something along these lines for a while. I wasn't comfortable doing so, and I'm still not entirely comfortable doing so.
 
I grew up in privilege and spent most of my life in varying degrees of it. That hasn't been true for the past several years. I'm flat poor with what that entails, but more about that later.
 
I grew up in the type of privilege that meant live-in "help". It meant mansions, I guess. Though my parents would never have used that word, what else do you call a 12,000 square foot house? It meant private schools and boarding schools. It meant that I didn't think twice about going into the city as a teenager and shopping at Bergdorf's or Saks; putting it on the store credit. I'm not saying I didn't have strict limits- which I'm sure I grumbled about, or said so and so is allowed to charge ANYTHING she wants. It meant vacation homes in the "right" places. It meant that CEOs of Fortune 500 companies were neighbors. When my younger sister was way into baseball, my father rented a box or whatever is you do, at Shea Stadium and kept it for 20 years.
 
In some sort of a probably lame seeming defense of this, my parents were unlikely, fairly liberal dems. My dad supported Jimmy Carter early and donated quite a bit as well as throwing him a fund raiser. (Ever hear my drunken trip over George Wallace's wheelchair at one of the Inaugural balls story?) My parents also tended to judge people more on whether they were smart and interesting, then on where they came from. And that meant that I didn't care what background someone came from. I've wondered if they came to regret that.
 
I'm not going to go into what happened or how it happened or why it happened, but it happened and I'm poor. I never, ever held disdain for poor people or counted them as less, but I can't say I understood being poor until I was poor. I didn't understand the frustrations or the sickening feeling that people judge you or the sheer tedium of thinking about every ****ing penny. I didn't understand- really understand- about worrying about health care coverage. (thank goodness I live in VT). I knew that people felt that way and I sympathized, but I didn't understand. I didn't understand how much time poverty consumes.
 
I understand all of that now.

Poverty is pretty soul crushing as well as terribly limiting. I know I'm fortunate still. I didn't grow up in poverty. I'm educated, etc.
 
I'm sure there are other people with a similar experience, but I don't imagine there are a lot so I thought it might make for an interesting take on both privilege and poverty.

It's a reasonably big campfire, so only a few primitive comments, selected at random:

cali (84,484 posts)    Thu Aug 1, 2013, 06:45 PM

3. Look, I don't mean to brush you off but I think it's pretty clear both where I come from and where I'm at. By any standards, I'm poor. I'm on food stamps and Medicaid. And yes, you have to pretty poor to qualify. I don't have enough money quite often for fuel for my car or to have work done on it. and that's just one example. I hope that information suffices for you to understand that I'm poor. not a little bit hard up, but flat poor.

cali (84,484 posts)   Thu Aug 1, 2013, 06:51 PM

8. Oh, man. I don't mean to compare my experience with yours and I apologize if it comes off that way. I so agree with you that being born poor is worse than falling into poverty.

cali (84,484 posts)    Fri Aug 2, 2013, 06:38 AM

32. Of course I don't know, but I suppose

I think the best way to grow up is have enough, and more importantly to have decent parents.

<<<wonders if the bitter old Vermontese cali primitive can still play a wicket game of lawn croquet.

[JohnnyReb]

The democrats spread her wealth around a little.....and she still votes democrat.

She just thought that she would always be one of the elite without putting forth any effort.....hey, you have to work to stay on top.

[seahorse513]

I didn't know that they  had mansions in Vermont. And if she grew up that wealthy, why is she so poor now??

[Dori]

I'm not going to go into what happened or how it happened or why it happened, but it happened and I'm poor.

Come on, fess up.  I want to hear all the juicy details....

[Bad Dog]

I would love to hear the true story of her squandering the life her parents tried to give her.  I'm also sure, in her mind, it was all other's fault.

[Chris_]

She doesn't hate poor people, but she sure has a chip on her shoulder about those rich ones.

[franksolich]

I didn't know that they  had mansions in Vermont. And if she grew up that wealthy, why is she so poor now??

The bitter old Vermontese cali primitive was born and raised among Old Money and Much Money in Connecticut.

[Wineslob]

"White Guilt" can sure make one age.........................badly.

[franksolich]

"White Guilt" can sure make one age.........................badly.

Uh huh, that's a large part of it.

It seems the bitter old Vermontese cali primitive loves black people in the abstract, but personally, she can't stand them, doesn't want any of them around her.

[Dori]

"White Guilt" can sure make one age.........................badly.

I don't think she has any guilt...she's just pissed off she's poor, and probably due to her own making or she would talk about it, as she would be blaming someone else.

[Skul]

Poverty is pretty soul crushing as well as terribly limiting. I know I'm fortunate still. I didn't grow up in poverty. I'm educated, etc.

Yes, you know all about earwigs, don't you.
They wouldn't happen to be a contributing factor, would they? 

[Texacon]

Couple of things and maybe coach can answer this.  Are her parents still alive?  Is there a chance she's still going to inherit?

Second thing ... I don't know if I agree with the premise that growing up poor is worse than having a privileged lifestyle then ending up poor.  Once you've tasted the good life it's really tough to settle.

Me, I grew up dirt poor and while I'm not rich I'm working toward that goal.  I know my kids grew up with a hell of a lot more than I did.  I think for some, growing up poor is the driving factor to our success. 

KC

[Ptarmigan]

The one who Graham banned at DU. 

[franksolich]

Couple of things and maybe coach can answer this.  Are her parents still alive?  Is there a chance she's still going to inherit?

Apparently her ancient mother's still in this Vale of Tears.

I've seen the bitter old Vermontese cali primitive mention a couple of sisters, too.

She alleges her family's disowned her, but
<<<takes with a grain of salt.

[Bad Dog]

Apparently her ancient mother's still in this Vale of Tears.

I've seen the bitter old Vermontese cali primitive mention a couple of sisters, too.

She alleges her family's disowned her, but
<<<takes with a grain of salt.

It would be very satisfying to hear her laments if mom had written her out of the will.  But, I suppose she would be quite entertaining if she became suddenly rich.

[Texacon]

It would be very satisfying to hear her laments if mom had written her out of the will.  But, I suppose she would be quite entertaining if she became suddenly rich.

Especially if most of it is taken as a result of the Estate Tax!  LOL

"Hey, you just inherited a $50 million estate!  Unfortunately most of it is assets that will need to be sold off to satisfy these taxes over here ..."

 

KC

[Aristotelian]

Especially if most of it is taken as a result of the Estate Tax!  LOL

"Hey, you just inherited a $50 million estate!  Unfortunately most of it is assets that will need to be sold off to satisfy these taxes over here ..."

 

KC

You can be absolutely sure that she'd find some reason to complain whatever happened.

[Aristotelian]

Quite some journey from live-in help to ear-wig wallduding.

[tanstaafl]

Quite some journey from live-in help to ear-wig wallduding.

A most excellent journey if you include her little drunken trip down the stairs whereas she busted up one of her legs. Plus the added side journey of dragging her carcass one half mile down a muddy lane, in the rain mind you. to flag down a passing car or rouse the neighbors. Instead of up the stairs to the front bedroom to retrieve her cell phone (which she isn't too poor to have).

Yeah, cali, the bitter old vermontese's life has been quite a journey for the ol' bat.

[Tess Anderson]

She was rooting for a tornado to hit her mother and one of her sister's town about six weeks ago. I wonder if cali ran off to one too many commune - she raised her son in one from ages 5 to 7. She left her mansion for that.

[USA4ME]

What's the point of even making a post like this? Must be some kind of board creed she's hoping to gain.

"I coulda been rich but instead I gave it all up to be down for the struggle."

Yeah. Whatever. Idiot.

.

[Chris_]

She was rooting for a tornado to hit her mother and one of her sister's town about six weeks ago. I wonder if cali ran off to one too many commune - she raised her son in one from ages 5 to 7. She left her mansion for that.

Nice.  No wonder DUmmies get so bent out shape during the holidays.

Tip: it's not me, it's you.

[Delmar]

 Daddy loved little sister more than the bitter old Vermontese cali primitive, he rented a box (or whatever it is that you do) at Shea Stadium and kept it for 20 years--just for HER.

[Carl]

In other words she lived life for the second,made every bad decision she could,alienated everyone that had contact with her and then blamed all of them for her growing misery.

Piss on her and her sob story.