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Author Topic: Syrian Fatwa Ordered Against Evil…Crescent Rolls  (Read 4973 times)

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Offline CG6468

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Syrian Fatwa Ordered Against Evil…Crescent Rolls
« on: July 30, 2013, 10:13:11 AM »
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Syrian Fatwa Ordered Against Evil…Crescent Rolls

July 29, 2013 by Ben Bullard

A new fatwa in the Syrian city of Aleppo targets people who dare to eat croissants.

According to an interview at China’s English-language Sina news website, one man who’s frustrated with the growing post-revolutionary power of Islamist extremists in Syria explains how fundamentalists are tightening their grip on local rule to an absurd extent.

“Al-Nusra Front fighters come up every day with a new unimaginable fatwa, or religious edict,” such as the fatwa against croissants, said the Syrian, identified only as “Ahmed.” The fundamentalists claim croissants are particularly relished by European infidels as a celebratory food (because of their “symbolic” crescent shape), which they allegedly tear into with gusto to commemorate historic victories over the Muslims.

Syrians originally inspired by a revolution they hoped would ensure stability and expanded freedoms are now taking to the internet to criticize al-Nusra’s growing intolerance of behaviors that fall outside various factions’ interpretations of sharia law. Other recent fatwas have involved women drivers, unveiled young girls, smoking and even listening to music.

Take your fatwas and pound them up your ass 
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Offline Jumperbones

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Re: Syrian Fatwa Ordered Against Evil…Crescent Rolls
« Reply #1 on: July 30, 2013, 11:42:50 AM »
That's gotta be a joke. But then again I put nothing past the muzzies.
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Offline Ptarmigan

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Re: Syrian Fatwa Ordered Against Evil…Crescent Rolls
« Reply #2 on: July 30, 2013, 11:59:49 AM »
:wtf2:  :mental:
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Offline Chris_

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Re: Syrian Fatwa Ordered Against Evil…Crescent Rolls
« Reply #3 on: July 30, 2013, 12:07:52 PM »
I'm going to buy some croissants just to piss this moron off. :popcorn:
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Offline Jumperbones

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Re: Syrian Fatwa Ordered Against Evil…Crescent Rolls
« Reply #4 on: July 30, 2013, 05:46:40 PM »
Quote from: Chris_ on July 30, 2013, 12:07:52 PM
I'm going to buy some croissants just to piss this moron off. :popcorn:

I'll buy the Ham and Bacon
. We'll have sandwiches.
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Offline txradioguy

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Re: Syrian Fatwa Ordered Against Evil…Crescent Rolls
« Reply #5 on: July 31, 2013, 04:10:49 AM »
Quote from: Jumperbones on July 30, 2013, 11:42:50 AM
That's gotta be a joke. But then again I put nothing past the muzzies.

Joke?  C'mon now we're talking about a religion/death cult that rioted over a cartoon.
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Offline Jumperbones

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Re: Syrian Fatwa Ordered Against Evil…Crescent Rolls
« Reply #6 on: July 31, 2013, 05:38:17 AM »
Quote from: txradioguy on July 31, 2013, 04:10:49 AM
Joke?  C'mon now we're talking about a religion/death cult that rioted over a cartoon.

How dare you, you racist. RELIGION OF DEATH? You mean the cult that decapitates, imprisons women if they are raped, won't let women drive, Butchers unsuspecting British soldiers walking down the street, uses it's children as suicide bombers. You mean the RELIGION OF PEACE. There I fixed that for you. DON'T EVER make that mistake again.
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Offline txradioguy

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Re: Syrian Fatwa Ordered Against Evil…Crescent Rolls
« Reply #7 on: July 31, 2013, 05:42:48 AM »
Quote from: Jumperbones on July 31, 2013, 05:38:17 AM
How dare you, you racist. RELIGION OF DEATH? You mean the cult that decapitates, imprisons women if they are raped, won't let women drive, Butchers unsuspecting British soldiers walking down the street, uses it's children as suicide bombers. You mean the RELIGION OF PEACE. There I fixed that for you. DON'T EVER make that mistake again.

Oh my.  How could I have been sooo misinformed?!  Thank you thank you for making me see the error in my ways.
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Offline freedumb2003b

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Re: Syrian Fatwa Ordered Against Evil…Crescent Rolls
« Reply #8 on: July 31, 2013, 06:27:34 AM »
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“Al-Nusra Front fighters come up every day with a new unimaginable fatwa, or religious edict,” such as the fatwa against croissants, said the Syrian, identified only as “Ahmed.”
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Offline Jumperbones

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Re: Syrian Fatwa Ordered Against Evil…Crescent Rolls
« Reply #9 on: July 31, 2013, 04:58:22 PM »
Quote from: txradioguy on July 31, 2013, 05:42:48 AM
Oh my.  How could I have been sooo misinformed?!  Thank you thank you for making me see the error in my ways.

It's what I do. You know that.
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Offline Wineslob

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Re: Syrian Fatwa Ordered Against Evil…Crescent Rolls
« Reply #10 on: August 01, 2013, 01:58:53 PM »
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Take your fatwas and pound them up your ass

I don't know if that would work, with them widening their anus's.
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Offline DumbAss Tanker

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Re: Syrian Fatwa Ordered Against Evil…Crescent Rolls
« Reply #11 on: August 02, 2013, 09:33:50 AM »
Wait 'til they find out about pretzels and hot cross buns!

 :ohnoes:
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Offline CG6468

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Re: Syrian Fatwa Ordered Against Evil…Crescent Rolls
« Reply #12 on: August 02, 2013, 09:39:33 AM »
Quote from: Wineslob on August 01, 2013, 01:58:53 PM
I don't know if that would work, with them widening their anus's.

Solution? Use a bigger hammer.
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Offline Dori

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Re: Syrian Fatwa Ordered Against Evil…Crescent Rolls
« Reply #13 on: August 02, 2013, 12:05:57 PM »
Quote from: DumbAss Tanker on August 02, 2013, 09:33:50 AM
Wait 'til they find out about pretzels and hot cross buns!

 :ohnoes:

Wasn't there a fatwa against the white squiggle on top of the hostess cupcakes?

Then there was this one;   :whatever:

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a Muslim cleric “residing in Europe” issued a, well, interesting fatwa, or religious ruling, banning Muslim women from touching bananas or cucumbers: “He said that these fruits and vegetables ‘resemble the male penis’ and hence could arouse women or ‘make them think of sex,’”


http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2011/12/10/the-fatwa-against-women-touching-bananas-and-other-stupid-islamic-orders.html



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Offline Wineslob

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Re: Syrian Fatwa Ordered Against Evil…Crescent Rolls
« Reply #14 on: August 02, 2013, 12:18:56 PM »
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“The national budget must be balanced. The public debt must be reduced; the arrogance of the authorities must be moderated and controlled. Payments to foreign governments must be reduced, if the nation doesn't want to go bankrupt. People must again learn to work, instead of living on public assistance.”

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"Practice random violence and senseless acts of brutality"

If you want a gender neutral bathroom, go pee in the forest.

Offline Mr Mannn

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Re: Syrian Fatwa Ordered Against Evil…Crescent Rolls
« Reply #15 on: August 04, 2013, 12:39:36 PM »
Quote
Syrian Fatwa Ordered Against Evil…Crescent Rolls
 The fundamentalists claim croissants are particularly relished by European infidels as a celebratory food (because of their “symbolic” crescent shape), which they allegedly tear into with gusto to commemorate historic victories over the Muslims.
:thatsright: DOH! I've been doing it all wrong! I've been drinking beer and eating bacon to commemorate historic victories over Muslims. I should have been using croissants all along!
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Offline Jumperbones

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Re: Syrian Fatwa Ordered Against Evil…Crescent Rolls
« Reply #16 on: August 04, 2013, 04:34:03 PM »
Quote from: Mr Mannn on August 04, 2013, 12:39:36 PM
:thatsright: DOH! I've been doing it all wrong! I've been drinking beer and eating bacon to commemorate historic victories over Muslims. I should have been using croissants all along!

And I've been using them for ham Sandwiches.
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