Why I'm Voting Democrat

[formerlurker]

I'm voting Democrat because I believe that the best strategy in war is defeat. It broadens the mind to learn Japanese, German and Arabic. Talk about multiculturalism!

I'm voting Democrat because I'm mad that George W. Bush hasn't caught Bin Laden. That's because Bin Laden is the only Islamic terrorist in the world.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe that if I don't have enough money, the solution is for the government to take more of my money. Who needs money when gas is $5 per gallon?

I'm voting Democrat because I believe that the ideal family is two homosexual bonobos, a goat and a parrot raising a human baby. Love and compassion is all it takes to make a successful family!

I'm voting Democrat because it's my body, and if I want to kill my baby, I'll do it, even if its head is in the birth canal. If I want to cut out my intestines and feed them to the crocodiles, I'll do that too. That's the freedom our forefathers enshrined in the Constitution.

I'm voting Democrat because our enemies on the battlefield deserve comfy hotel rooms, Pay-Per-View, prostitutes and all the benefits of American citizenship.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe we need other countries' permission for me to turn down my thermostat.

I'm voting Democrat because I care about the real victims of crime -- criminals.

I'm voting Democrat because the real cure for racism includes preferential policies based on race -- particularly in presidential voting. If you believe that a black candidate ought to be qualified, as well as black, you're worse than Bull Conner.

I'm voting Democrat because everyone deserves crappy healthcare. Sure, you'll have to wait years for that life-saving cancer surgery. But it's first come, first served at the cemetery!

I'm voting Democrat because I believe in minority rights (except in Muslim countries), free speech (with regard to pornography but not conservative talk radio), environmentalism (unless we're talking about Al Gore's house) and diplomacy (but never backed by the threat of military force).

I'm voting Democrat because I like the words "hope" and "change." Also "kazoo." That's a funny word.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe that America's founders were rich, white, greedy xenophobes, and that America's founding principles are hogwash requiring periodic editing from an unelected group of liberal judges.

Most of all, I'm voting Democrat because I like the ideas they have over in France, but I don't feel like moving there. I'll threaten to move, but I really won't. After all, I have a good job, healthcare, lower taxes, free speech and a social framework that promotes family structure. And all of it is defended by the most effective fighting force on the planet.

If only the institution of far-left values resulted in a great country. Oh, well. That won't stop me from voting Democrat, though. After all, I'm voting Democrat because thought isn't one of my strong suits.

http://www.townhall.com/columnists/BenShapiro/2008/06/18/why_im_voting_democrat

[mamacags]

H-5!!!!  I received a retarded video titled I'm voting Republican the other day, this must be the rebuttal to that thing.

[Chris_]

That is brilliant

[Atomic Lib Smasher]

I saw this from Mamcags's today.... I laughed my ass off reading it.

[RobJohnson]

That is awesome!

[Atomic Lib Smasher]

I'm voting Democrat because I believe that if I don't have enough money, the solution is for the government to take more of my money. Who needs money when gas is $5 per gallon?

This really makes me wonder though... Republicans take a look at the problem with the high gas prices that are affecting millions of Americans and say "There's not enough supply for the demand, so let's look for more supply and drill" while the Dims look at the same problem, and supposedly in OUR interests, the little guy paying 50-60 bucks to fill up his tank, want to TAX the gas companies, thus making gas prices HIGHER!!!! It's enough to give ya an ulcer if ya think about it too much.

[Tess Anderson]

Haha, that is a great rebuttal.

H-5!!!!  I received a retarded video titled I'm voting Republican the other day, this must be the rebuttal to that thing.

Oh, that one? I realize this is none of my business, but how did you get on moveon's mailing list? I got the one that said Juan wanted to draft a baby boy to fight in Iraq, but that was so I'd laugh at it.

[mamacags]

[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FiQJ9Xp0xxU[/youtube]

It came to me through myspace.  I have a friend on there who just LOVES Obama.  I enjoy sending her stuff about Obama more than I probably should.  Liberals are just so easy to play with.

[Atomic Lib Smasher]

[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FiQJ9Xp0xxU[/youtube]

It came to me through myspace.  I have a friend on there who just LOVES Obama.  I enjoy sending her stuff about Obama more than I probably should.  Liberals are just so easy to play with.

LOVES Obama?? How so? Does she wanna stalk him? Does she make up stupid songs about him? Does she draw pics of him with a 20 inch pecker? If not, I gotcha beat.. one of the retards I work with has ... well, I wanna find a stronger word for deify but I can't.... not for this chick.


And that video is bullshit, BTW

[Peter3_1]

The video is what passes for " HUMOR" on the left.

[Atomic Lib Smasher]

The video is what passes for " HUMOR" on the left.

Yep. They ain't funny. They're only funny when they ain't trying to be, like when they try to persuade people to their side.











 Oh wait, they are funny sometimes.......... funny LOOKING that is! Edited to add: Welcome to CC, Peter.