Why do men look at porn? The Devil (a.k.a. Apple) made us do it

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Why do men look at porn? The Devil (a.k.a. Apple) made us do it

Lawsuit says technology giant should have to install smut filters on all its products to save men a lot of grief (and time).

Gord Woodward, July 15, 2013 3:43:13 PM

At last – someone is standing up to this “blame the victim” mentality that has for too long penalized men.

It turns out that we bearers of dangly bits have been the dupes in a sinister plot by a major corporation, and as a result have unfairly endured years of scorn and ridicule. And yes, ladies, you have been unwitting accomplices in this gender mockery. (We can hear your eyes rolling, but stay with us on this.)

Now, thanks to a courageous ex-lawyer from Tennessee, we can openly confront this evil campaign and restore our good names.

We speak of … Internet porn. Turns out that man’s fascination with it is not our fault, despite all of the circumstantial evidence to the contrary. The real culprit, according to Chris Sevier, is Apple, that corporate titan renowned for bringing the devil’s handiwork to humankind (its creations have destroyed the music and publishing industries. Not to mention the art of conversation).

He is suing Apple because it has the nerve to sell technology devices that allow any unsuspecting dope unlimited access to the Internet. And since 99.7 per cent of the Web is dominated by porn (hey, why should Sevier be the only one allowed to make stuff up?), that means Apple is to blame for his keen interest in naked women. He says the technology giant should be obligated to install porn filters on its products to protect us from ourselves.

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Ladies, you can do your part too. The next time you catch your guy one-handed, try to be consoling rather than confrontational. And since a new study shows that men find looking at naked women to be a great stress reliever, maybe remind him visually of one of the reasons he fell for you in the first place

Another lib idiot