A few of us went to the bar in town for lunch today, as it was the semi-annual
festa del cucina italiano, which is so popular reservations have to be made. It’s when the Italianate restauranteurs from Omaha, Kansas City, Chicago, and Minneapolis come here, to learn from Swede, the local cook of Norwegian derivation, how to improve their art.
We’d made reservations for six, but because of last-minute happenings, it was only three of the original six who could come, and we filled in the others with whoever we could find.
I forget what else the other five had (other than that it was Italianate), but for the main dish, the neigbhor’s wife had
bucatini alla sorrentina, the business partner had
coda alla vaccinara, the neighbor’s older brother’s wife had
risotto di seppie alla veneziana, the retired banker’s wife had
cotoletta alla petroniana, and some guy I didn’t know had
cozze fritte alla viareggina.
I had my usual, a hamburger well-done, pressed down hard on the grill so as to squeeze out every drop of grease, potatoes fried in just a little bit of butter, and a side-dish of sour cream.
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The table-side chitchattery was just idle stuff, and for obvious reasons I didn’t pick up much of it.
I was queried about an upcoming visit later this week to the cardiologist, about the now-departed snobbish New Englanders with their silver trailers, and about a proposed game of lawn croquet next Sunday, but generally I stayed out of the yik-yakkety because I wasn’t sure what was being said.
I caught fragments of discussions about the upcoming county fair, and the freaks that are going to be camping here starting this Friday night, but I myself barely know anything about them--and what I do know, I suspect their biggest attraction, the Minnesota Mammaries, is a fraud--I didn’t say much.
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After dining, I took the neighbor’s wife home, but as the neighbor and their five children weren’t back yet from where they’d been, she suggested we drive around and “talk.â€
As with the business partner, the neighbor’s wife and so few other people understand the best way to communicate with franksolich is in a small enclosed area (such as inside a motor vehicle). When out in the open, I might as well be at sea.
We were in my vehicle, which is a low-slung sedan not really suitable for going over rough terrain--all the cars I’ve had here, the major repair expense has been for tie-rods and axles. But it depends upon one’s priorities; most prefer high-riding vehicles to deal with the terrain, while I prefer low-slung vehicles because of the relentless winds that sweep the highways.
But I drove around the neighbor’s spread anyway.
“So…..you’re having a visitor next weekend,†she started.
Uh-oh. My heart stopped. I was in for it now.
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The neighbor’s wife and the
femme are very good friends, although she never met her until I was already wooing the
femme.
Gentlemen,
never acquaint your beloved with other female friends of yours. Keep a wall between them. Women talk, especially to each other.
Yeah, well, what’s wrong with having a visitor next week? I asked.
“After all, it’s not as if I got people dropping in to visit all the time.â€
The neighbor’s wife paused. “But you’re going to be busy next week.
“You’re going to need eight pairs of eyes to watch things, what with the freaks being out back of the back yard, the six minor children camping in the front yard, for ‘practice,' for when they can make some money when primitives come there the weekend of Labor Day.â€
“Now you know,†I replied, “the children of course are going to be my principal concern.
“While they know the freaks are going to be around, I plan to shield them, so that they never see them, excepting at a distance, much less have to deal with them.â€
I shuddered.
“Especially from the Minnesota Mammaries; it’d been traumatic for me, being slapped in the face by a couple of big swinging jugs out of nowhere, and I don’t want the same to happen to others of impressionable ages.â€
“Well, but you’re going to have this other visitor,†she answered--
“But she’s staying in town with her college sorority sister,†I interrupted.
“Oh, but you
know she’s going to be spending most of the time out at your place, with you.â€
I pointed out the
femme’s going to be gone all that week, and it’d be nice to have company, especially another mature adult to protect the children from things they needn‘t see.
“Nothing happened last time, and nothing’s going to happen this time.â€
to be continued