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Offline franksolich

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the big guy tries a funny; flops
« on: July 01, 2013, 07:07:57 PM »
http://www.democraticunderground.com/10023143670

Oh my.

Quote
Omaha Steve (36,267 posts)    Mon Jul 1, 2013, 06:17 PM

Microsoft Windows vs. Ford Motor Co.

For those of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the wonderful way computers have enhanced our lives,......read on.
 
At a computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated;
 
"If Ford had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we could all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."
 
In response to Bill's comments,......Ford issued this press release;

If Ford had developed technology like Microsoft has, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:
 
1. For no reason what-so-ever, your car would crash,...sometimes several times a day.
 
2.. Every time road workers repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car.
 
3... Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could even continue, and for some reason, you just simply accept this.
 
4.... Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
 
5..... Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would cost 3 times as much and would run on only five percent of the main roads.
 
6...... The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.
 

7....... The airbag system would ask, "Are you sure?" before actually deploying.
 
8........ Occasionally, for no reason at all, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you lifted the door handle, turned the key back and forth twice, and grabbed the radio antenna,.....all at the same time.
 
9......... Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the new car controls would operate in the same way as they did in the old car.
 
10.......... You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

PS - I'd like to add, when all else fails, you would call 'customer service' in some foreign country and be instructed in some foreign accent,.... how to fix the car yourself!
 
Please share this with friends and family who love AND hate,.......a computer!

Quote
Initech (39,781 posts)    Mon Jul 1, 2013, 06:23 PM

1. This sounds like a chain e-mail - there's a lot of this that's incorrect.

5..... Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would cost 3 times as much and would run on only five percent of the main roads.

Don't they mean Apple Computer? There's no company called "Macintosh".

Quote
Atman (26,251 posts)    Mon Jul 1, 2013, 07:09 PM

4. It's ancient, and it's fake.
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Offline Texacon

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Re: the big guy tries a funny; flops
« Reply #1 on: July 01, 2013, 07:16:41 PM »
What a miserable bunch they are. IT'S A JOKE DUmmies. Sheesh.

KC
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Offline EagleKeeper

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Re: the big guy tries a funny; flops
« Reply #2 on: July 01, 2013, 07:17:51 PM »
I love operating system slap fights.

Just today I installed a beta version of fedora so all your base are belong to me!

Edit: meh, I screwed up the punch line.  :bawl:
« Last Edit: July 01, 2013, 07:26:48 PM by EagleKeeper »
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Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
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If you wait by the river long enough the bodies of your enemies will float by.
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Offline Skul

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Re: the big guy tries a funny; flops
« Reply #3 on: July 01, 2013, 07:18:58 PM »
I think I first saw that little joke around 1996 or 7.  :thatsright:
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Then-Chief Justice John Marshall observed, “Between a balanced republic and a democracy, the difference is like that between order and chaos.”

John Adams warned in a letter, “Remember democracy never lasts long. It soon wastes, exhausts, and murders itself. There never was a democracy yet, that did not commit suicide.”

Offline Chris_

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Re: the big guy tries a funny; flops
« Reply #4 on: July 01, 2013, 07:20:12 PM »
Quote from: Skul on July 01, 2013, 07:18:58 PM
I think I first saw that little joke around 1996 or 7.  :thatsright:
That joke is as old as Windows 95.
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Offline diesel driver

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Re: the big guy tries a funny; flops
« Reply #5 on: July 01, 2013, 07:27:21 PM »
Quote from: Chris_ on July 01, 2013, 07:20:12 PM
That joke is as old as Windows 95.

I only go back as far as Windows 98, and probably the only person on the planet that had no real trouble from Windows ME.
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Murphy's 3rd Law:  "You can't make anything 'idiot DUmmie proof'.  The world will just create a better idiot DUmmie."

Liberals are like Slinkys.  Basically useless, but they do bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs...
 
Global warming supporters believe that a few hundred million tons of CO2 has more control over our climate than a million mile in diameter, unshielded thermo-nuclear fusion reactor at the middle of the solar system.

"A dead enemy is a peaceful enemy.  Blessed be the peacemakers". - U.S. Marine Corp

You can't fix stupid, but you can vote it out of office.

Offline Skul

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Re: the big guy tries a funny; flops
« Reply #6 on: July 01, 2013, 07:29:04 PM »
Quote from: diesel driver on July 01, 2013, 07:27:21 PM
I only go back as far as Windows 98, and probably the only person on the planet that had no real trouble from Windows ME.
                                                                                                                                                  :lol: :lol:
Never turned the computer on.  :lmao:

 :tongue:
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Then-Chief Justice John Marshall observed, “Between a balanced republic and a democracy, the difference is like that between order and chaos.”

John Adams warned in a letter, “Remember democracy never lasts long. It soon wastes, exhausts, and murders itself. There never was a democracy yet, that did not commit suicide.”

Offline Chris_

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Re: the big guy tries a funny; flops
« Reply #7 on: July 01, 2013, 07:29:41 PM »
Quote from: Skul on July 01, 2013, 07:29:04 PM
                                                                   :lol: :lol:
Never turned the computer on.  :lmao:
:nelson:

My biggest problem with ME is that it wouldn't address more than 128 Mb of memory.  I don't remember if they ever fixed that problem.
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Offline EagleKeeper

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Re: the big guy tries a funny; flops
« Reply #8 on: July 01, 2013, 07:33:48 PM »
Quote from: diesel driver on July 01, 2013, 07:27:21 PM
I only go back as far as Windows 98, and probably the only person on the planet that had no real trouble from Windows ME.

I've got an old HP Omnibook 5700 that has ME installed, it runs but I can't connect to a network or anything. I haven't the foggiest idea when I got it.
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Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
- Napoleon Bonaparte

If you wait by the river long enough the bodies of your enemies will float by.
-Sun Tzu

Offline diesel driver

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Re: the big guy tries a funny; flops
« Reply #9 on: July 01, 2013, 07:35:53 PM »
Quote from: Skul on July 01, 2013, 07:29:04 PM
                                                                                                                                                  :lol: :lol:
Never turned the computer on.  :lmao:

 :tongue:

No, it was on.   :tongue:

Hell, I still got the disc!   :lmao:
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Murphy's 3rd Law:  "You can't make anything 'idiot DUmmie proof'.  The world will just create a better idiot DUmmie."

Liberals are like Slinkys.  Basically useless, but they do bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs...
 
Global warming supporters believe that a few hundred million tons of CO2 has more control over our climate than a million mile in diameter, unshielded thermo-nuclear fusion reactor at the middle of the solar system.

"A dead enemy is a peaceful enemy.  Blessed be the peacemakers". - U.S. Marine Corp

You can't fix stupid, but you can vote it out of office.

Offline EagleKeeper

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Re: the big guy tries a funny; flops
« Reply #10 on: July 01, 2013, 07:42:12 PM »
Quote from: Chris_ on July 01, 2013, 07:29:41 PM
My biggest problem with ME is that it wouldn't address more than 128 Mb of memory.  I don't remember if they ever fixed that problem.

I just fired up the Omnibook and it's got 64 meg so I guess that doesn't answer your question.
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Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
- Napoleon Bonaparte

If you wait by the river long enough the bodies of your enemies will float by.
-Sun Tzu

Offline Ptarmigan

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Re: the big guy tries a funny; flops
« Reply #11 on: July 01, 2013, 08:01:30 PM »
They take themselves way too seriously. Sucks to be them.
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Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
-Napoleon Bonaparte

Allow enemies their space to hate; they will destroy themselves in the process.
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Offline GOBUCKS

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Re: the big guy tries a funny; flops
« Reply #12 on: July 01, 2013, 10:32:25 PM »
The neckbearded weeper is so stupid he thought people would think he made that up and wrote it.

It's like a first-grader telling you a knock-knock joke, thinking it's new and hilarious.

At least the child will tell you where he heard it. Dawes tries to make the DUmmies believe he didn't copy-and-paste.

As a writer, Dawes shares a rung on the ladder with rsmithnumbers.
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Offline diesel driver

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Re: the big guy tries a funny; flops
« Reply #13 on: July 02, 2013, 05:18:52 AM »
Quote from: GOBUCKS on July 01, 2013, 10:32:25 PM
The neckbearded weeper is so stupid he thought people would think he made that up and wrote it.

It's like a first-grader telling you a knock-knock joke, thinking it's new and hilarious.

At least the child will tell you where he heard it. Dawes tries to make the DUmmies believe he didn't copy-and-paste.

As a writer, Dawes shares a rung on the ladder with rsmithnumbers.

Do/can they build ladders that stout?  I'm sure the OS exceeds the weight rating of even the most HD ladders by 50% or better.   :lmao:

Now, if you're rating him on his "intellectual weight"...   :lmao:
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Murphy's 3rd Law:  "You can't make anything 'idiot DUmmie proof'.  The world will just create a better idiot DUmmie."

Liberals are like Slinkys.  Basically useless, but they do bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs...
 
Global warming supporters believe that a few hundred million tons of CO2 has more control over our climate than a million mile in diameter, unshielded thermo-nuclear fusion reactor at the middle of the solar system.

"A dead enemy is a peaceful enemy.  Blessed be the peacemakers". - U.S. Marine Corp

You can't fix stupid, but you can vote it out of office.

Offline miskie

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Re: the big guy tries a funny; flops
« Reply #14 on: July 02, 2013, 06:21:04 AM »
Wow ! What a new and entertaining joke !

Maybe Dawes can make up a joke where John Cleese revokes American Independence and recolonizes the United States to Britain since Independence Day is right around the corner. 

Not only would that be timely, it would be hilarious !    :whatever:
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Offline njpines

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Re: the big guy tries a funny; flops
« Reply #15 on: July 02, 2013, 07:07:18 AM »
Wow, that IS an ancient joke.  I used to have to go to the COMDEX conventions for work (we had a booth) and it died out in the mid-90s!
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Offline dane

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Re: the big guy tries a funny; flops
« Reply #16 on: July 02, 2013, 12:50:43 PM »
It looks like Steve might be using employer internet access at work.  He's made a lot of posts this morning, the most recent at 10:21 (time stamped on the post) here http://www.democraticunderground.com/11173144

Surely a good union man wouldn't be guilty of surfing while at work, would he?
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Offline AllosaursRus

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Re: the big guy tries a funny; flops
« Reply #17 on: July 02, 2013, 12:56:40 PM »
Quote from: dane on July 02, 2013, 12:50:43 PM
It looks like Steve might be using employer internet access at work.  He's made a lot of posts this morning, the most recent at 10:21 (time stamped on the post) here http://www.democraticunderground.com/11173144

Surely a good union man wouldn't be guilty of surfing while at work, would he?

He works??????????????? Yer kiddin', right?
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