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Author Topic: 0bama Steve gets a smart phone.  (Read 3596 times)

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Offline Freeper

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0bama Steve gets a smart phone.
« on: June 23, 2013, 08:43:49 AM »
Quote
Omaha Steve (36,141 posts)

I finally got a smart phone


 

After years of bragging about I only want a phone that makes calls. Not even texts. While at a meeting Wednesday night I watched as people were looking up info during a heated discussion. So I got a smart phone with wi-fi. Just turning it on was a challenge. Culture shock.

OS

http://election.democraticunderground.com/10023069570

Looks like the 0bamaphone program is upgrading to smart phones.
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I may not lock my doors while sitting at a red light and a black man is near, but I sure as hell grab on tight to my wallet when any democrats are close by.

Offline franksolich

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Re: 0bama Steve gets a smart phone.
« Reply #1 on: June 23, 2013, 08:47:32 AM »
Oh, the big guy's just bragging again, to the primitives who can't afford it.
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apres moi, le deluge

Milo Yiannopoulos "It has been obvious since 2016 that Trump carries an anointing of some kind. My American friends, are you so blind to reason, and deaf to Heaven? Can he do all this, and cannot get a crown? This man is your King. Coronate him, and watch every devil shriek, and every demon howl."

Offline Freeper

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Re: 0bama Steve gets a smart phone.
« Reply #2 on: June 23, 2013, 08:50:10 AM »
Quote from: franksolich on June 23, 2013, 08:47:32 AM
Oh, the big guy's just bragging again, to the primitives who can't afford it.

Yes he is.
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I may not lock my doors while sitting at a red light and a black man is near, but I sure as hell grab on tight to my wallet when any democrats are close by.

Offline franksolich

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Re: 0bama Steve gets a smart phone.
« Reply #3 on: June 23, 2013, 08:54:20 AM »
Quote from: Freeper on June 23, 2013, 08:50:10 AM
Yes he is.

I wonder if he's paid off the unionized print-shop down in Lincoln that made his yard-signs last year.
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apres moi, le deluge

Milo Yiannopoulos "It has been obvious since 2016 that Trump carries an anointing of some kind. My American friends, are you so blind to reason, and deaf to Heaven? Can he do all this, and cannot get a crown? This man is your King. Coronate him, and watch every devil shriek, and every demon howl."

Offline diesel driver

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Re: 0bama Steve gets a smart phone.
« Reply #4 on: June 23, 2013, 08:55:56 AM »
Quote from: franksolich on June 23, 2013, 08:54:20 AM
I wonder if he's paid off the unionized print-shop down in Lincoln that made his yard-signs last year.

They charged it to "DUST", and let the rain settle it!   :lmao:
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Offline Freeper

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Re: 0bama Steve gets a smart phone.
« Reply #5 on: June 23, 2013, 08:58:04 AM »
Quote from: franksolich on June 23, 2013, 08:54:20 AM
I wonder if he's paid off the unionized print-shop down in Lincoln that made his yard-signs last year.

That must be rhetorical, since in the entire history of this country no DUmmy has ever paid off a debt.

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I may not lock my doors while sitting at a red light and a black man is near, but I sure as hell grab on tight to my wallet when any democrats are close by.

Offline franksolich

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Re: 0bama Steve gets a smart phone.
« Reply #6 on: June 23, 2013, 09:02:44 AM »
Quote from: Freeper on June 23, 2013, 08:58:04 AM
That must be rhetorical, since in the entire history of this country no DUmmy has ever paid off a debt.

Well, I'm pretty sure a unionized print shop would be upset if they knew one of their customers, when he had some money, instead of paying them back, went out and purchased some expensive item made by cheap sweat-shop nonunionized workers.
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apres moi, le deluge

Milo Yiannopoulos "It has been obvious since 2016 that Trump carries an anointing of some kind. My American friends, are you so blind to reason, and deaf to Heaven? Can he do all this, and cannot get a crown? This man is your King. Coronate him, and watch every devil shriek, and every demon howl."

Offline JakeStyle

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Re: 0bama Steve gets a smart phone.
« Reply #7 on: June 23, 2013, 09:05:17 AM »
His giant greasy sausage fingers will render it useless for research, he needs to hire an assistant to look stuff up for him at the next meeting.
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Offline GOBUCKS

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Re: 0bama Steve gets a smart phone.
« Reply #8 on: June 23, 2013, 10:40:35 AM »
The guy is just a fat, sweaty, hairy version of Pam Dawson, running to the DUmp to brag every time he puts something new on his credit card.

Quote
Culture shock.

And he's one of those pinheads who for some reason think it's admirable or macho to brag about being ignorant of technology.

We already knew that Steve Dawes's ignorance extends far beyond technology.

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Offline AprilRazz

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Re: 0bama Steve gets a smart phone.
« Reply #9 on: June 23, 2013, 10:42:40 AM »
Quote
0bama Steve gets a smart phone.
It won't help his intelligence one bit.
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Offline Bad Dog

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Re: 0bama Steve gets a smart phone.
« Reply #10 on: June 23, 2013, 10:46:29 AM »
Pretty sad when your phone is far smarter than you are.  Actually I'm guessing his can opener is too.
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Offline Skul

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Re: 0bama Steve gets a smart phone.
« Reply #11 on: June 23, 2013, 11:32:05 AM »
Quote from: Bad Dog on June 23, 2013, 10:46:29 AM
Pretty sad when your phone is far smarter than you are.  Actually I'm guessing his can opener is too.
Electric, or the manual one?  :fuelfire:
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Offline Bad Dog

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Re: 0bama Steve gets a smart phone.
« Reply #12 on: June 23, 2013, 11:34:53 AM »
Quote from: Skul on June 23, 2013, 11:32:05 AM
Electric, or the manual one?  :fuelfire:
 

Yes.
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Offline Evil_Conservative

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Re: 0bama Steve gets a smart phone.
« Reply #13 on: June 23, 2013, 11:56:31 AM »
A smartphone with Wi-Fi is useless unless you are somewhere that has free Wi-Fi.  And even then, the free Wi-Fi always sucks balls.  Good luck, loser.
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Offline Big Dog

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Re: 0bama Steve gets a smart phone.
« Reply #14 on: June 23, 2013, 12:37:19 PM »
Omaha Steve bought his new smartphone with the Mini-Taco App installed.

The app continuously tracks inventory and price of mini-tacos at all grocery and big-box stores within a user-selected distance from the phone. If a retailer puts mini-tacos on sale, Steve gets a text message. If a retailer has free samples in-store, the app alerts him with an audible alert and GPS coordinates with driving directions.
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Offline BlueStateSaint

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Re: 0bama Steve gets a smart phone.
« Reply #15 on: June 23, 2013, 01:36:20 PM »
Quote from: Big Dog on June 23, 2013, 12:37:19 PM
Omaha Steve bought his new smartphone with the Mini-Taco App installed.

The app continuously tracks inventory and price of mini-tacos at all grocery and big-box stores within a user-selected distance from the phone. If a retailer puts mini-tacos on sale, Steve gets a text message. If a retailer has free samples in-store, the app alerts him with an audible alert and GPS coordinates with driving directions.

Does the app have a subroutine that pays for shipping?  That way, he doesn't have to leave the sewage treatment plant.
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Offline obumazombie

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Re: 0bama Steve gets a smart phone.
« Reply #16 on: June 23, 2013, 01:47:27 PM »
Sometimes libs pay off debts...with OPM.
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Offline Big Dog

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Re: 0bama Steve gets a smart phone.
« Reply #17 on: June 23, 2013, 01:57:06 PM »
Quote from: BlueStateSaint on June 23, 2013, 01:36:20 PM
Does the app have a subroutine that pays for shipping?  That way, he doesn't have to leave the sewage treatment plant.

Of course!

But Steve is not fishing out tampons at the sewage plant anymore. The Ed Norton of Omaha is on detached duty over at the Omaha Police Division, mopping up urine and vomit in the holding cells and fetching coffee for the police officers. It was the settlement for his latest worker's fraud comp case.

So now, Steve Dawes smells like old sewage, new vomit, and other people's urine. It's easier for Marta to find him if they get separated at Costco- she follows her nose to the mini-taco section.
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Offline Airwolf

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Re: 0bama Steve gets a smart phone.
« Reply #18 on: June 24, 2013, 12:04:56 AM »
Quote from: Bad Dog on June 23, 2013, 10:46:29 AM
Pretty sad when your phone is far smarter than you are.  Actually I'm guessing his can opener is too.

I was thinking the same thing. That phone by itself would walk circles around him.

« Last Edit: June 24, 2013, 12:07:14 AM by Airwolf »
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Offline Aristotelian

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Re: 0bama Steve gets a smart phone.
« Reply #19 on: June 24, 2013, 08:00:22 AM »
Quote from: Bad Dog on June 23, 2013, 10:46:29 AM
Pretty sad when your phone is far smarter than you are.  Actually I'm guessing his can opener is too.

To say nothing of his pet rock...
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Offline JohnnyReb

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Re: 0bama Steve gets a smart phone.
« Reply #20 on: June 24, 2013, 08:10:06 AM »
Quote from: Bad Dog on June 23, 2013, 10:46:29 AM
Pretty sad when your phone is far smarter than you are.  Actually I'm guessing his can opener is too.

His qualifications on can openers only goes up to the P-38.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/P-38_can_opener
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Offline Gina

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Re: 0bama Steve gets a smart phone.
« Reply #21 on: June 24, 2013, 08:45:27 AM »
Quote from: diesel driver on June 23, 2013, 08:55:56 AM
They charged it to "DUST", and let the rain settle it!   :lmao:

 :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:
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Offline obumazombie

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Re: 0bama Steve gets a smart phone.
« Reply #22 on: June 24, 2013, 12:18:29 PM »
Quote from: JohnnyReb on June 24, 2013, 08:10:06 AM
His qualifications on can openers only goes up to the P-38.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/P-38_can_opener
There is actually a larger version of that we used to call the P-45.
The actual designation is the P-51.

edit add
« Last Edit: June 24, 2013, 12:32:00 PM by obumazombie »
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Offline JohnnyReb

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Re: 0bama Steve gets a smart phone.
« Reply #23 on: June 24, 2013, 12:29:52 PM »
Quote from: obumazombie on June 24, 2013, 12:18:29 PM
There is actually a larger version of that we used to call the P-45.

But he isn't qualified to use it.....might cut himself.
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Offline Gina

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Re: 0bama Steve gets a smart phone.
« Reply #24 on: June 24, 2013, 01:02:24 PM »
When I went to the space musueum there was something I saw that said that today's cheapo calculator that you get at $$ store has more memory/function capacity than the computer that took the guys to the moon. Anyone heard that before?
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