DUmmy "Triana"'s eulogy to her deceased (D) father

[Tess Anderson]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10023070505

 

Sat Jun 22, 2013, 07:25 PM

 Triana (16,966 posts)


So, the old man just died this morning. (My biological father)





Last edited Sat Jun 22, 2013, 07:26 PM USA/ET - Edit history (1)

 I was never close to him. For all intents and purposes, my stepfather was my "Dad". My biological father was the sperm donor. My "Dad" died back in 1991 or so.
 
Biological father who died today was an alcoholic. Violent. Beat up and terrorized my mother - I grew up around DV. They divorced when I was around nine years old. Then, he'd come and pick us up for the weekend visits. Sometimes, he was driving drunk with us in the car. Police pulled him over once for that and escorted him home. He remarried another 3-4 times (I lost count). His last wife though, he adored. She was a very nice woman and we all liked her. Not sure how she put up with him but she did. After she died, he made himself the target of any opportunistic old woman who was after a free home and some of his money, who would "take care" of him: cook and clean. That was what he thought women were put here for - to cook and clean for men - to serve them and clean their house. Even right up until just a few weeks ago, he wanted to go home and find a woman to take care of him. No one could at that point of course, as he was invalid and it was a 24 x 7 nursing job, which is why he ended up in hospice. Family couldn't deal with him anymore.

He was selfish and mean -- until he got too old to change anything and still then, it was all about himself. When he knew he was dying and became pretty much an invalid -- well even then he didn't really change. He is a man that should have never had kids. His method of childrearing was the "sink or swim" method. Be a sperm donor and create children and then just toss them out there. If they did something you didn't like or that annoyed, you, backhand their little asses into the opposite wall of the room. If they survived in life, fine. If not - oh well. He taught us to swim the same way. Just drop the kid into the water - then they're on their own. Very Republican method, if you think about it. But he was a Democrat though - blue-collar worker in the auto-worker's union and thus GREAT health insurance and a pension. Don't tell ME unions don't make a difference. They do.
 
The damn fool smoked until just a couple years ago. He was almost 90 - 89 I think. Didn't quite make his 90th birthday. He died peacefully in a very nice hospice center - better than he deserved really but with that "socialist" Medicare and his good insurance, it might even be covered. This morning, he just went to sleep after they fed him some applesauce - and didn't awaken. He wasn't eating and was getting a little bit of morphine to keep him comfortable. His body was shutting down as it has been for weeks since he went into the emergency room with pneumonia when I was out there to see him in May, me knowing he'd be gone soon. I guess it's a good thing I did that -- for my own good if not his. When he got my mother pregnant with one of us kids and she told him about it, he said: "well you didn't ask ME first!"
 


This was before there was the birth control pill or any particularly effective method of contraception existed. It was as if she had done this to herself and he had nothing to do with it. Jesus Christmas.
 
Still, it's sad to see someone get to that point in life - though his dying and last days were not chaotic or particularly painful. He didn't suffer too much and had as good care from family as they could give him, and from hospitals and finally hospice. He went painlessly and peacefully in beautiful setting. Nicer people have much worse deaths that they don't deserve. Meanwhile, this man had a pretty good one he didn't deserve really. Not that I wanted to see him suffer - you never want to see an old feeble person suffer or at least I don't. But I still ponder the justice or injustice of death and dying: why good folks go in horrible ways and mean, selfish ones go pampered or at least basically cared for. He was thin as a rail, feeble, and didn't recognize us some of the time - serious dementia. Just last week he told my sister he wanted to go home and get into his car and drive back to his house that he used to own in a state way across the country. That house has long since been sold of course. His mind was gone. Now, he is.

R.I.P. old man. I guess your kids pretty much survived in spite of you and not because of you, and that's a shame.
 
Let this be a lesson to any and all fathers or Dads out there NOT to be this kind of father or Dad.
 
God damn it - if you're gonna breed 'em, then feed 'em and protect 'em and help 'em and support 'em -- or don't *******ed breed 'em. Ya know?

 

[ChuckJ]

Based on some of the points it sounds like the biological dad was a DU member.

[franksolich]

God damn it - if you're gonna breed 'em, then feed 'em and protect 'em and help 'em and support 'em -- or don't *******ed breed 'em.

Uh oh.  The primitive's picking on a certain, uh, class.


 

[USA4ME]

God damn it - if you're gonna breed 'em, then feed 'em and protect 'em and help 'em and support 'em -- or don't *******ed breed 'em. Ya know?

Gov't is the new mommy and the daddy to you freaks. Get with the program, primitive.

.

[98ZJUSMC]

better than he deserved really but with that "socialist" Medicare and his good insurance

Guess what, asshat?  By law, you are required, past a certain age,  to go on Medicare whether you want to or not.

Ask my parents.  They had perfectly acceptable, excellent health insurance that was terminated at age 75.  They had to go on Mediscare.  State Gov't employee friend is retired and will be required to do the same thing at 75.  He has awhile to go.

You can stick your references to hypocritical behavior up your disease ridden rectum.  Forced behavior is not hypocritical.

God damn it - if you're gonna breed 'em, then feed 'em and protect 'em and help 'em and support 'em -- or don't *******ed breed 'em. Ya know?

Sure, I do.  Everything should be done for you.  Everything should be paid for you.  Your every wish should be granted by a benevolent Government of fellow thinkingers.  Nothing is your fault.  Nothing should be allowed to derail your path to a rent free basement and unlimited Cheetos.  You should be paid $25.00/hr to sit on your dead ass and draw your finger through joint compound.  


Me?  I think you should suffer the consequences of your actions or complete inaction.  Whichever be the case. In short, you should cease to exist on this plane.  Honestly though, it would be absolutely hilarious to see the look on your mug as you approach your judgement.  Spitting.......sputtering...and blaming everything, anything else. 

[thundley4]

After she died, he made himself the target of any opportunistic old woman who was after a free home and some of his money, who would "take care" of him: cook and clean.

Maybe she's bitter that there is no inheritance.

[Bad Dog]

Maybe she's bitter that there is no inheritance.

Bingo!!! H-5

[RobJohnson]

My guess is that less then 1% of her eulogy is true.

[franksolich]

My guess is that less then 1% of her eulogy is true.

Yeah, it's really odd, how the primitives never seemed to have had good parents; they were always lousy parents. 

Admittedly, there's probably been a few bad parents, but it's just weird, that no primitive ever had a good one.

[RobJohnson]

Yeah, it's really odd, how the primitives never seemed to have had good parents; they were always lousy parents. 

Admittedly, there's probably been a few bad parents, but it's just weird, that no primitive ever had a good one.

They are always looking for someone to blame, even if they have to make up a few stories.

[JohnnyReb]

I would probably be a drunk too if I had to contend with a moonbat family.

[jtyangel]

Very republican method eh? Not like children who grow into adults don't get years of guidance before they sink or swim. Parenting in the manner this person is trying to elude to is not appropriate ie lifelong hand holding and as someone who recently has had to cut my own father off intervention style I sympathized up until this poor 'traumatized' person decided to play politics. Hey dummie sometimes personal failing and relationships are just that. Given your dad was a drunk I would say it was far more likely a corrupt dem could pay him to board a bus and pull the lever for d. Your dad was a very flawed man with issues and am abuser. What I've painfully learned in the last few years is to write them off unless they get help for their issues and let it go. Your anger changes nothing and distances you from the real living in this world.

[jtyangel]

Maybe she's bitter that there is no inheritance.

No. As someone being there and doing that. I think what hurts in these situations is that your own father gives a shit more for a fraud then his own children. It is mind boggling to watch a parent do that and have no way to intercede when they are diseases in some way or mentally ill or a drug abuser. I understood the rant at that point and the real issue.

Oh and trust me someone like these men you already knew years ago there would be no inheritance because they don't help their children in ways many of you would probably take for granted over the years so that's a moot point and people with issues like this generally don't have a red cent at the end to boot so the pain has nothing to do with resources. You already come to expect nothing from them. What is mind boggling is they give so much to con people and hucksters and behave as though their family is the enemy. Lived this first hand.

[jtyangel]

Yeah, it's really odd, how the primitives never seemed to have had good parents; they were always lousy parents. 

Admittedly, there's probably been a few bad parents, but it's just weird, that no primitive ever had a good one.

Well there is the possibility frank that if a child carries this mistreatment into adulthood and never gets over it or deals with it it may create the bitterness we see in liberals and that desire to be taken care of my someone almost psychologically seeking a parent somewhere. What they don't get is government is an inadequate substitute for poor parenting. Entitlement I think some from two different sides of the coin: people who have been given everything  including an inflated ego and those who have been mistreated who think they've somehow earned this thru having to out up with the pain of abuse. Their parents no doubt helped create who they are but society helps nurture that victimization to create liberal monsters as adults.

[Splashdown]

Yeah, it's really odd, how the primitives never seemed to have had good parents; they were always lousy parents. 

Admittedly, there's probably been a few bad parents, but it's just weird, that no primitive ever had a good one.

Jty probably covered this, but I think bad parenting is the foundation of becoming a DUmmie. Nobody ever taught them that life is hard, that the world doesn't owe them a living. They probably never had to do chores, to pull their weight in the home. Nobody made them stick to something.

Many strong people can overcome bad parenting. However, for many, they never learn the basics.

[BlueStateSaint]

Jty probably covered this, but I think bad parenting is the foundation of becoming a DUmmie. Nobody ever taught them that life is hard, that the world doesn't owe them a living. They probably never had to do chores, to pull their weight in the home. Nobody made them stick to something.

Many strong people can overcome bad parenting. However, for many, they never learn the basics.

I'll tell you what--being a good dad is something I have to work on every day.  'Course, The Heiress is just as hardheaded as I was.  My parents, looking back on it now, busted their fourth points of contact for us in trying to be good parents.  "Good parents" are not the same thing as "good friends."  There's times that I cannot be a "good friend" to The Heiress.  That's just too bad.  She still says that she loves me, and that I'm "the best dad ever."  I know that she's got no frame of reference to base this on, but it's a good feeling.

My little girl will make very sure that she marries a guy who earns her love.  He'll be a conservative, probably.

[Splashdown]

I'll tell you what--being a good dad is something I have to work on every day.  'Course, The Heiress is just as hardheaded as I was.  My parents, looking back on it now, busted their fourth points of contact for us in trying to be good parents.  "Good parents" are not the same thing as "good friends."  There's times that I cannot be a "good friend" to The Heiress.  That's just too bad.  She still says that she loves me, and that I'm "the best dad ever."  I know that she's got no frame of reference to base this on, but it's a good feeling.

My little girl will make very sure that she marries a guy who earns her love.  He'll be a conservative, probably.

 

[Wineslob]

Only a DUmmie would use an online forum to hang out dirty laundry.


Stay classy Proglodyte(s).

[Karin]

I don't even share my dirty laundry with my own sisters.