http://www.democraticunderground.com/10022836254panAmerican (1,198 posts)
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NEED ADVICE: Identity theft by relative; call police?
Hi everyone,
I hope you can give me some advice/information.
Two years ago, I signed a lease for a close relative, on the condition that it would be for 1 year. Last year, under very intense pressure from immediate and extended relatives, I signed again, but said that it would be the final time; others spoke up and said that this year, they would be the ones to sign or co-sign for that relative. At the time, no one else had the credit, income or met other criteria in order to afford the home size that they needed to rent.
This year, I am waiting for that person to bring me the renewal form, as that is sent to their home that I rented for them, not to my house. Come to find out Saturday afternoon, that he forged my f*ck!ng signature and renewed the lease. Now, it is past the time for me to renew I am livid, particularly because this is a relative who came from overseas, that I supported for over 12 years while he waited to come to this country with permanent residence.
There are kids involved, and he's counting on that soft spot, and on the fact that I'm Christian to muzzle me. He's crying and carrying on, and once again there are relatives calling me from here and out-of-state, telling me to forgive him and let him stay in the apt. My close relatives this time are behind me; they are ok with me telling the leasing office it wasn't my signature, but most of them don't want me to press charges. That would bring on the risk of the kids being taken away by dyfs, or having to relocate out-of-county with other relatives.
If he's arrested, their kids will not be able to finish the school year, because the lease is up at the end of this month. I'm afraid that if I forgive him, and he pulls the same stunt again next year, I won't be able to go to the police. They might say to me that I kept silent for a year and dismiss it as a family spat.
What are my options? He made his bed; should I let him lie in it, or hold back my wrath for the sake of the kids? BTW, there is now a newborn involved. I think they got pregnant on purpose to have an American-born child, and timed the birth to be near the time of renewal, to further tie my hands.
I'm overwhelmed. Advice appreciated.
Everyone knows that the deadbeat relative is you and that it's your conservative mama that signed the lease.
Dash87 (1,455 posts)
2. Call. I doubt you're the only one he's done this to.
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I would be shocked, in fact. There was this lady at a place I used to work who Where I use to work, I would steal young kids credit cards, and when sheI got caught, sheI would give a sob story and sweet talk them into not pressing charges.
MYHer whole sob story was about how 'sorry' sheI was and how sheI have a problem and had a brief lapse of judgement and had never done this before.
SheI went somewhere else and got caught ripping people off there too.
panAmerican (1,198 posts)
17. I do have a lawyer friend
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I'm just feeling ashamed about calling him for advice because this is a family matter, and I'm feeling pretty embarrassed for being duped.
I'd bet he wouldn't feel ashamed about send you the bill for the consultation. But then the DUmmy wants free legal advice.
boston bean (16,720 posts)
7. If you were going to sign it for one more year anyhow,
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can you let this go?
I know it feels awfully hinky, but people in desperate situations do desperate things. He is family, and I think that maybe you can get this straightened out next year, no?
He should't be doing this, but I think if I was going to sign any ways, I would make a big stink about it personally, but not involve the authorities.
How did the bomber miss you?
HappyMe (11,559 posts)
11. Eesh! You were repaid for your
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kindness by being taken advantage of.
I would call the leasing office. If they are willing to do this, and use the kids as a shield, who knows what they would do next.
Kids or no kids, that is fraud. You really shouldn't allow yourself to get roped into that.
Are the relatives that are telling you to not press charges willing to take them in.
Why not the OP taking them in. According to the DUmbasses at DU, they do it all of the time.
JoePhilly (15,934 posts)
13. You don't give up your right to take legal action later by not taking legal action now.
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All else being equal ...
1) Confront the relative and tell them that by signing your name to that renewal, they broke the law.
2) Because they did this behind your back, placing you at financial risk, you can no longer trust them.
3) Inform them that when this lease expires, you will not co-sign another renewal. They will need to find some one else.
4) Inform them that if they use your name to renew this lease, or use your information for any other purpose, you will call the police and have them arrested, and you will press charges.
This approach maintains your legal rights and gives the relative time to find other arrangements (which protects the kids at least for the time being).
Sounds like a family of ragheads. Someones head might end up on a platter if they don't watch out.
Ilsa (31,618 posts)
25. Be sure you run a credit report on yourself
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to make certain nothing else is going on, like him forging a co-signing for other debt.
It's so bad that he couldn't borrow a dime from himself.
DebJ (5,209 posts)
32. If he has lived there for two years and paid the rent on time,
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do they even NEED a co-signer, or just prefer to have one?
Why are you asking the obvious question?
panAmerican (1,198 posts)
36. Here's the back story
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The guy is my paternal half-brother, but I never treated him as "less than" any full-blooded sibling. He has been an excellent tenant the last 2 years, which he brought up in his defense. He apologized and said he won't do it again. My husband doesn't believe he'll do it again, because my brother has now been exposed to the whole family for what he really is. Still my Mom's twin sister, and my Mom's brother (no blood relation to him) say forgive him, and let the signature stand for just one more year.
Over the last 12-15 years, I spent tens of thousands of dollars on him, which I have not done for any my full-blooded siblings: money to start a little merchant business; more after it was ransacked; more again for a taxi business; tuition for his kids; rent assistance, etc. I even paid for his mother to have life-saving surgery, after his brothers declined to contribute. All this money is over and above what our father and my mother paid to the State Dept to legally immigrate his family here.
After they came here, I found out that they were not living as badly as he claimed. There were times I bought things on credit so I could send them my cash. Up until literally 3 years ago, I was making a very modest income, so this wasn't "extra money" I didn't need for myself.
At age 16, 8 years ago, his oldest daughter left home. She used to call and tell me that she had to get underwear and otherwise share clothes with a cousin. Imagine my surprise when she arrives in the US with a Blackberry (birthday gift from an uncle), perfume, makeup, jewelry, etc. Imagine my further surprise to learn that she been taking dance classes, going out to restaurants, etc.
There's some political/social instability, and kidnapping is common; so it was believable when my brother called to tell me about gangs roaming his neighborhood, robbing people, etc. So instead of leaving his wife and girls back home defenseless without a man in the house, I thought it was worth the additional expense and sacrifice to bring everybody to come at once. I even talked to my husband about adding a wing to the house so that they could live with us.
My brother also used to talk about his wife's side of the family being indifferent to him and the kids, and come to find out these aunts used to visit to those kinds and bring gifts from the US! I didn't even know those aunts were in the US, much less in the same state!
At one point, I had put him in charge of distributing money I was sending for both my Mom's side and our Dad's side of the family. But finally someone had the courage to say, please don't do that anymore, even if it means receiving less money. He was abusing his position as my brother and therefore my representative. He routinely manipulated those people into lending him their money, even though I always sent more money from him than for anyone else.
I could go on with more examples, but you get the drift: I've been played for a major fool, and now I am raging. This is why, despite the risk of him getting arrested, his family evicted, and the kids separated, I feel I can't let this one slide.
Le Taz Hot (14,406 posts)
44. Last winter I had roughly the same experience
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with a relative, who my 91-year-old aunt took in (they were homeless), ended up stealing thousands from her. She's on a VERY limited income. Turns out other relatives knew about a forged check incident and didn't tell me about it (I'm her caregiver). Because of that the relative was able to further victimize my aunt. My point is that, as others have said, if nothing is done, there will be more victims and probably not just yourself. People like that rarely victimize just one person.
My tale is better than yours.
panAmerican (1,198 posts)
50. Went to Leasing Ofc; calling attorney next
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Just came back from the leasing office!
And the support from DU also propped up my backbone, so I thank you all. But, I asked my husband and one of my sisters to go with me, so that I wouldn't cave again.
At first, I didn't tell the leasing agent outright that he had forged my signature. I told her that I did this 2 years ago as a favor, and now I want out because my brother and I are estranged. So she calls the main office to request a renewal form for me to use to decline for June 1st, and the woman tells her the renewal has already been processed. Then I say that "it's not my signature, and I didn't authorize anyone to sign for me."
The main office faxed her a copy of the renewal, and on the bottom, I wrote "I am not interested in renewing, and the above is not my signature"; I signed it and faxed it back. The agent said I don't have any further liability, and that in the event of an eviction, it won't be reported on my credit or public record. The main office also faxed a ledger confirming that my brother and his wife have made timely payments, so I am in the clear there as well. As I said initially, they are mainly interested in being paid and on time.
My sister got mad at me for asking if payment history would count towards our brother being approved on his own, but I needed to know that for my own piece of mind. My brother may be an a$$hole, but my nieces are good girls and good students, and I don't want to punish them along with him.
Now... going to call my lawyer friend to see what the next steps should be.
This whole fiasco reminds me of a 1/2 crime drama on TV. There's a crime, investigation and it's solved in one episode.
hunter (16,019 posts)
59. Fortunately my signature is worth nothing.
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Friends and relatives can sleep on the sofa if they like, subject to the dogs' approval.
DUmmy has a fag flag avatar so sleeping on his couch is not a good idea. You'll need cootie spray.
