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Author Topic: 'The world will end on June 12'  (Read 6716 times)

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Offline bijou

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'The world will end on June 12'
« on: June 10, 2008, 12:33:27 PM »
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The end is nigh - except if you live in Texas, practice polygamy and change your name to Hawkins.

The House of Yahweh, led by fruit-cake Yisrayl Hawkins, says a nuclear holocaust will come June 12th.

But fear not there is hope for you yet -- just join his group of wackos and you will be saved.

Membership proceedure is quite simple: Fly over to Texas and live in the Yahweh compound, change your name to Hawkins and agree to worship, marry and sleep with Yisrayl if you are a woman or just worship him if you are a man.

Believers ignore the fact that Hawkins has made several end of the world predictions before with not so much as a locust in sight.

Replying to allegations he's running a bog standard cult Mr Hawkins (the original) said: "I don't control their mind in a witch-like fashion that the world is speaking of, to where I have some sort of power over them. I merely teach the laws to them."

He's is accused of having two dozen wives, and is facing bigamy charges.

link

Only two days to save yourselves from the coming catastrophe, hurry over to Texas.  :-)
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Offline Lauri

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Re: 'The world will end on June 12'
« Reply #1 on: June 10, 2008, 12:34:58 PM »
cant do it that day... i have a party on the 28th.

after that, sure.
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Offline Freeper

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Re: 'The world will end on June 12'
« Reply #2 on: June 10, 2008, 12:45:53 PM »
well shit may as well call in sick today and stay home wont be around to cash my next paycheck anyway.  :-)
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Offline Mugsaway

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Re: 'The world will end on June 12'
« Reply #3 on: June 10, 2008, 12:52:48 PM »
Shoot...I was closing on my 1st house on the 27th. Guess I should call my mortgage company and Realtor to cancel the sale...I was really looking forward to owning my own house...Guess I'll be in His house instead. Now :beer:
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Offline Servonaut

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Re: 'The world will end on June 12'
« Reply #4 on: June 10, 2008, 04:26:30 PM »
Damn, payday is on the 16th.

I guess all that overtime I worked will be for naught.  :banghead:
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Offline bijou

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Re: 'The world will end on June 12'
« Reply #5 on: June 10, 2008, 04:29:06 PM »
Good grief people the world is ending and all you can do is complain about work.  Hard work is its own reward.  If you want to collect on your overtime you do have the option of joing the Hawkins Harem.  :lmao:
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Offline Chris_

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Re: 'The world will end on June 12'
« Reply #6 on: June 10, 2008, 04:31:27 PM »
Quote from: bijou on June 10, 2008, 04:29:06 PM
Good grief people the world is ending and all you can do is complain about work.  Hard work is its own reward.  If you want to collect on your overtime you do have the option of joing the Hawkins Harem.  :lmao:

I do?  Man, I dunno -- something happens to them women when they hit 18: they gits ugly.

Nah, I'll ride it out with a Stella in my hand.
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Offline Texacon

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Re: 'The world will end on June 12'
« Reply #7 on: June 10, 2008, 05:05:00 PM »
Well .... for all you wimmens that don't want to go to the compound ...... you can come on down to Texas and I'll make sure you feel like a woman when the end comes!   :naughty:

Make sure you bring beer



Oh and an opener.    :lmao:

KC
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Offline Servonaut

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Re: 'The world will end on June 12'
« Reply #8 on: June 10, 2008, 05:06:09 PM »
Quote from: bijou on June 10, 2008, 04:29:06 PM
Good grief people the world is ending and all you can do is complain about work.  Hard work is its own reward.  If you want to collect on your overtime you do have the option of joing the Hawkins Harem.  :lmao:

Jesus Bijou, I already live in Houston's Hippie Hell. Hawkin's Harem sounds horrible.  :-)
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Offline Schadenfreude

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Re: 'The world will end on June 12'
« Reply #9 on: June 10, 2008, 05:09:23 PM »
That's my birthday!  :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:
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Offline bijou

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Re: 'The world will end on June 12'
« Reply #10 on: June 10, 2008, 05:11:07 PM »
Quote from: Servonaut on June 10, 2008, 05:06:09 PM
Quote from: bijou on June 10, 2008, 04:29:06 PM
Good grief people the world is ending and all you can do is complain about work.  Hard work is its own reward.  If you want to collect on your overtime you do have the option of joing the Hawkins Harem.  :lmao:

Jesus Bijou, I already live in Houston's Hippie Hell. Hawkin's Harem sounds horrible.  :-)
But is it worse than the end of the world?   (Personally I'd take my chances with the nuclear attack) :-)
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Offline djones520

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Re: 'The world will end on June 12'
« Reply #11 on: June 10, 2008, 05:11:35 PM »
June 12th in what time zone?  It'll be the 12th for me in 17 hours.
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Offline bijou

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Re: 'The world will end on June 12'
« Reply #12 on: June 10, 2008, 05:12:57 PM »
Quote from: Schadenfreude on June 10, 2008, 05:09:23 PM
That's my birthday!  :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:
Well keep this story secret or you won't get any presents.  'I would have got you something but the world is ending today and I was afraid you wouldn't be able to  return it ...'  :-)
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Offline Servonaut

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Re: 'The world will end on June 12'
« Reply #13 on: June 10, 2008, 05:17:44 PM »
Quote from: bijou on June 10, 2008, 05:11:07 PM
Quote from: Servonaut on June 10, 2008, 05:06:09 PM
Quote from: bijou on June 10, 2008, 04:29:06 PM
Good grief people the world is ending and all you can do is complain about work.  Hard work is its own reward.  If you want to collect on your overtime you do have the option of joing the Hawkins Harem.  :lmao:

Jesus Bijou, I already live in Houston's Hippie Hell. Hawkin's Harem sounds horrible.  :-)
But is it worse than the end of the world?   (Personally I'd take my chances with the nuclear attack) :-)

I guess you don't have any Hippies where you live.  :whatever:















 :-)
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Offline Lord Undies

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Re: 'The world will end on June 12'
« Reply #14 on: June 10, 2008, 05:42:17 PM »
Quote from: Schadenfreude on June 10, 2008, 05:09:23 PM
That's my birthday!  :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

Mine too.  I knew you was good people.
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Offline Texacon

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Re: 'The world will end on June 12'
« Reply #15 on: June 10, 2008, 06:13:58 PM »
Quote from: Lord Undies on June 10, 2008, 05:42:17 PM
Quote from: Schadenfreude on June 10, 2008, 05:09:23 PM
That's my birthday!  :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

Mine too.  I knew you was good people.

Soooooo your birthday's herald the 'End of the World' and somehow you are good people?!   ::)

KC
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Offline Lord Undies

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Re: 'The world will end on June 12'
« Reply #16 on: June 10, 2008, 06:18:46 PM »
Quote from: Texacon on June 10, 2008, 06:13:58 PM
Quote from: Lord Undies on June 10, 2008, 05:42:17 PM
Quote from: Schadenfreude on June 10, 2008, 05:09:23 PM
That's my birthday!  :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

Mine too.  I knew you was good people.

Soooooo your birthday's herald the 'End of the World' and somehow you are good people?!   ::)

KC

It's President Bush (Sr.)'s birthday too.  The day is a springboard for excellence in humanity.  If it is the day the world ends, well, it's also the day Heaven starts.
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Offline Lauri

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Re: 'The world will end on June 12'
« Reply #17 on: June 10, 2008, 06:29:52 PM »
Quote from: djones520 on June 10, 2008, 05:11:35 PM
June 12th in what time zone?  It'll be the 12th for me in 17 hours.


ha! guess the Hawkin's dude didnt figure this one out all the way just yet...  :-)
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Offline Texacon

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Re: 'The world will end on June 12'
« Reply #18 on: June 10, 2008, 06:44:55 PM »
Quote from: Lord Undies on June 10, 2008, 06:18:46 PM
Quote from: Texacon on June 10, 2008, 06:13:58 PM
Quote from: Lord Undies on June 10, 2008, 05:42:17 PM
Quote from: Schadenfreude on June 10, 2008, 05:09:23 PM
That's my birthday!  :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

Mine too.  I knew you was good people.

Soooooo your birthday's herald the 'End of the World' and somehow you are good people?!   ::)

KC

It's President Bush (Sr.)'s birthday too.  The day is a springboard for excellence in humanity.  If it is the day the world ends, well, it's also the day Heaven starts.

Hmmmmm now that you look at it that way ......     I'm cool!       :-)

KC
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Offline Happy Fun Ball

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Re: 'The world will end on June 12'
« Reply #19 on: June 10, 2008, 07:07:56 PM »
So, how many business hours do we have left?
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Offline Duke Nukum

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Re: 'The world will end on June 12'
« Reply #20 on: June 10, 2008, 07:33:47 PM »
Is it because:

June=6
12=6+6
2008=8-2=6?

Or is it just the voices?
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Offline Duke Nukum

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Re: 'The world will end on June 12'
« Reply #21 on: June 10, 2008, 07:44:27 PM »
Quote from: djones520 on June 10, 2008, 05:11:35 PM
June 12th in what time zone?  It'll be the 12th for me in 17 hours.
I think the sixth time zone from UTC would make the most sense.  Possibly the 12th.  If it were my cult it would be the 6.66th But that's just me.  Considering the date of the EOTW, why not 6.12?

But since time is a psychological delusion it probably doesn't matter much.

Beside which, everyone knows the world ended on 12/31/1999.
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Offline Splashdown

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Re: 'The world will end on June 12'
« Reply #22 on: June 10, 2008, 07:50:05 PM »
Figures the world will end on a Thursday. Just like Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.  :whatever:
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Offline Schadenfreude

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Re: 'The world will end on June 12'
« Reply #23 on: June 10, 2008, 07:51:47 PM »
Quote from: Lord Undies on June 10, 2008, 05:42:17 PM
Quote from: Schadenfreude on June 10, 2008, 05:09:23 PM
That's my birthday!  :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

Mine too.  I knew you was good people.

That's right, how could I forget?  :cheersmate:

How come you aren't showing up?
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Offline Schadenfreude

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Re: 'The world will end on June 12'
« Reply #24 on: June 10, 2008, 07:52:39 PM »
Quote from: bijou on June 10, 2008, 05:12:57 PM
Quote from: Schadenfreude on June 10, 2008, 05:09:23 PM
That's my birthday!  :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:
Well keep this story secret or you won't get any presents.  'I would have got you something but the world is ending today and I was afraid you wouldn't be able to  return it ...'  :-)

You Brits have a delicious sense of ha ha.  :-)

He he he....  :lmao:
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