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Author Topic: Thinking like a DUmmie  (Read 2612 times)

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Offline FlippyDoo

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Thinking like a DUmmie
« on: March 20, 2013, 01:30:06 PM »
As part of my mole creation tips post I decided I'd post a "think like a DUmmie" question. Below is a math question. Your job, if you choose to accept it, is pick the answer that would most probably be picked as correct by a DUmmie.

Fred has $100. You have 0$. Bob is selling apples for $1 apiece. You want 10 apples. How much money does the government have to steal from Fred and give to you so that you can get the 10 apples?
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Offline Tucker

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Re: Thinking like a DUmmie
« Reply #1 on: March 20, 2013, 01:53:37 PM »
Quote
The government should steal all of Fred's money and all of Bob's apples and give it all to me.

I'm better qualified than both Bob and Fred to dole out the balance on a case by case basis. After all I'm smarter that you are and know what's best.
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Come to think of it, unions do create jobs. Companies have to hire two workers to do the work of one.

Offline BlueStateSaint

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Re: Thinking like a DUmmie
« Reply #2 on: March 20, 2013, 02:03:11 PM »
H5 for the obligatory 'Joooooos' option. :rotf: :lmao: :rofl:
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Offline FiddyBeowulf

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Re: Thinking like a DUmmie
« Reply #3 on: March 20, 2013, 02:07:12 PM »
Quote from: BlueStateSaint on March 20, 2013, 02:03:11 PM
H5 for the obligatory 'Joooooos' option. :rotf: :lmao: :rofl:
Need it in order to vote like a DUmmie.
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Offline JohnnyReb

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Re: Thinking like a DUmmie
« Reply #4 on: March 20, 2013, 02:27:55 PM »
Quote from: BlueStateSaint on March 20, 2013, 02:03:11 PM
H5 for the obligatory 'Joooooos' option. :rotf: :lmao: :rofl:

For the Jooooo hating NAZI DUmmies.


XXXXXXXXX             X
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“The American people will never knowingly adopt socialism. But, under the name of ‘liberalism’, they will adopt every fragment of the socialist program, until one day America will be a socialist nation, without knowing how it happened.” - Norman Thomas, U.S. Socialist Party presidential candidate 1940, 1944 and 1948

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Offline WinOne4TheGipper

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Re: Thinking like a DUmmie
« Reply #5 on: March 20, 2013, 02:28:43 PM »
Bob is a vulture capitalist who fertilized his apple trees with the blood of the proletariat!  Eat Bob! :censored: :mad: :panic:

Edited to fix name.
« Last Edit: March 20, 2013, 05:55:36 PM by WinOne4TheGipper »
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Offline jukin

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Re: Thinking like a DUmmie
« Reply #6 on: March 20, 2013, 05:03:18 PM »
First, HI5!

Second DUchebags DO NOT think. They react or do as ordered. They are the ultimate useful idiots.
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When you are the beneficiary of someone’s kindness and generosity, it produces a sense of gratitude and community.

When you are the beneficiary of a policy that steals from someone and gives it to you in return for your vote, it produces a sense of entitlement and dependency.

Offline Mr Mannn

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Re: Thinking like a DUmmie
« Reply #7 on: March 20, 2013, 05:42:56 PM »
Answer: Fred is an evil One percenter. The govt should take everything and give it to me. His house should be looted, his wife and kids either shot or driven from the country.
Plus
Bob is a corporatist hog. We should stop the corporate welfare and occupy his orchard. Those apples belong to the people, they should be free! The govt should take everything and give it to me. His house should be looted, his wife and kids either shot or driven from the country.
Final score: Mine! Mine! Mine!

Extra credit. Michael Moore and Obama ate all the apples. I didn't get any. But thats OK because they are elite.
All people are equal, but some are more equal that others. My Masters need those apples more than me. I will console myself that Bob and Fred are dead.

Up Twinkles!
« Last Edit: March 20, 2013, 05:47:03 PM by Mr Mannn »
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Offline Delmar

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Re: Thinking like a DUmmie
« Reply #8 on: March 20, 2013, 06:04:37 PM »
I picked potato. 

Apples?  Screw that.  I want the taxpayers to buy me some of those gourmet dishes the DUmmies are always going on about in their cooking threads.
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Offline DumbAss Tanker

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Re: Thinking like a DUmmie
« Reply #9 on: March 20, 2013, 06:13:51 PM »
Are those rape apples?  Were they fertilized with animal byproducts??  Were they picked by union labor???


 :panic:


I had to go with "All of the above."
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Offline Skul

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Re: Thinking like a DUmmie
« Reply #10 on: March 20, 2013, 06:25:49 PM »
Quote from: Delmar on March 20, 2013, 06:04:37 PM
I picked potato. 

Apples?  Screw that.  I want the taxpayers to buy me some of those gourmet dishes the DUmmies are always going on about in their cooking threads.
Meatless chili with mushrooms?
You ain't  well man, Delmar.
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Offline Reality vs DU

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Re: Thinking like a DUmmie
« Reply #11 on: March 20, 2013, 06:29:21 PM »
Other.  Fred and Bob both practice benevolent sexism. 
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Offline FlippyDoo

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Re: Thinking like a DUmmie
« Reply #12 on: March 20, 2013, 06:29:27 PM »
Quote from: Delmar on March 20, 2013, 06:04:37 PM
I picked potato. 

Apples?  Screw that.  I want the taxpayers to buy me some of those gourmet dishes the DUmmies are always going on about in their cooking threads.

Eat some lawn grass sprinkled with some herbs and call it Fo'Dalob. Or any other name. Just as long as it sounds foreign you'll be one of the "in" folks at the DUmp.
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Fictional spirit-guiding by appointment.
conservativecave.com & conservativeunderground.com

For new members and lurkers: I am a fictional spirit-guide with no smell whatsoever. I am part irish setter and part pigeon. If you don't smell any strange smells it means I'm probably standing next to you. As I am a fictional character anything I post should possibly be considered fictional.

Offline FlippyDoo

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Re: Thinking like a DUmmie
« Reply #13 on: March 20, 2013, 06:30:48 PM »
Quote from: Reality vs DU on March 20, 2013, 06:29:21 PM
Other.  Fred and Bob both practice benevolent sexism. 

Funny you should mention that. I know it doesn't relate directly with sexism, but one of the original choices was "Is Fred or Bob homosexual?"
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Fictional spirit-guiding by appointment.
conservativecave.com & conservativeunderground.com

For new members and lurkers: I am a fictional spirit-guide with no smell whatsoever. I am part irish setter and part pigeon. If you don't smell any strange smells it means I'm probably standing next to you. As I am a fictional character anything I post should possibly be considered fictional.

Offline Delmar

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Re: Thinking like a DUmmie
« Reply #14 on: March 20, 2013, 08:19:33 PM »
Quote from: Skul on March 20, 2013, 06:25:49 PM
Meatless chili with mushrooms?
You ain't  well man, Delmar.
:rofl:
The meatless chili with mushrooms wasn't what I had in mind.  More like this--with a translation by NHSparky: 
Quote
Response to Lucinda (Original post)
Sat Mar 9, 2013, 08:27 PM
sir pball (863 posts)
13. panéed pork escallopes

and whole-grain horseradish mustard cream reduction along with (presteamed) broccoli caramelized in smoking oil and tossed with catalan arbequina olive oil, cracked pepper and a whiff of idiazabal cheese and smashed yukons with 86% fat cultured butter (Vermont Creamery...if you can buy it do so, it's extraordinarily expensive and even more extraordinarily better).


Jesus H. Tapdancin ****in Christ on a Tricycle, why dontcha just call it what it is--pork chops and gravy, frozen broccoli, and mashed potatoes?
:rofl:
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Offline Freeper

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Re: Thinking like a DUmmie
« Reply #15 on: March 20, 2013, 08:38:46 PM »
Quote from: Reality vs DU on March 20, 2013, 06:29:21 PM
Other.  Fred and Bob both practice benevolent sexism. 

You may be on to something since benevolent sexism is the outrage DU jour at DUmmyland.

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Offline Chris_

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Re: Thinking like a DUmmie
« Reply #16 on: March 20, 2013, 08:42:00 PM »
Quote from: Freeper on March 20, 2013, 08:38:46 PM
You may be on to something since benevolent sexism is the outrage DU jour at DUmmyland.
I thought that was last week.
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Offline Dori

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Re: Thinking like a DUmmie
« Reply #17 on: March 20, 2013, 08:55:13 PM »
Quote from: DumbAss Tanker on March 20, 2013, 06:13:51 PM
Were they picked by union labor???

At $1.00 per apple, my guess would be....yes they are union apples.

 $.50 cents for the union labor, $.10 cents for Obamacare, $.15 cents for government regulations (permits, fees, environmental impact studies), $.20 cents for growers expenses (water, pruning, spraying) $ .02 cents profit, $.02 cents federal taxes, and $.01 cent state taxes.
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Offline Duke Nukum

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Re: Thinking like a DUmmie
« Reply #18 on: March 20, 2013, 09:40:16 PM »
Considering government efficiency the government would have to take $110 from Fred in order to run ads to demonize greedy Bob and I end up buying Bob's apples for $1.20 each on my EBT card.
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