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Author Topic: Report: 3 Killer Commando Dolphins From Ukraine On The Loose  (Read 3426 times)

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Offline BlueStateSaint

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Report: 3 Killer Commando Dolphins From Ukraine On The Loose
« on: March 12, 2013, 02:34:29 PM »
I got this off of Drudge, and it's not really close to April 1st, so . . .

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Report: 3 Killer Commando Dolphins From Ukraine On The Loose

March 12, 2013 8:47 AM

Sevastopol, Ukraine (CBS Seattle) – Three elite Ukrainian commandos have gone AWOL.
 
The dolphins are highly trained, intelligent, and can strike anywhere.
 
Ukrainian media reported earlier this month that three military trained dolphins didn’t return to their base in the Crimean port of Sevastopol. The dolphins were reported to be out during a training exercise.

These particular dolphins are trained in the use of special knives and firearms to kill enemy divers. They are also adept in the use of explosives to sink enemy ships.

It’s unknown if the three missing dolphins had such equipment on them when they went missing, but it is believed that they are out seeking mates.

The sex drive makes fools of us all . . . :whistling:

The rest of it is at: http://seattle.cbslocal.com/2013/03/12/report-3-killer-commando-dolphins-from-ukraine-on-the-loose/
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Offline thundley4

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Re: Report: 3 Killer Commando Dolphins From Ukraine On The Loose
« Reply #1 on: March 12, 2013, 03:03:29 PM »
The Day of the Dolphin.

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Dr Jake Terrell, who has been training a pair of dolphins for many years, has had a breakthrough. He has taught his dolphins to speak and understand English, although they do have a limited vocabulary. When the dolphins are stolen, he discovers they're to be used in an assassination attempt. Now he is in a race to discover who is the target, and where the dolphins are, before the attempt is carried out.
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Offline Wineslob

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Re: Report: 3 Killer Commando Dolphins From Ukraine On The Loose
« Reply #2 on: March 12, 2013, 04:06:27 PM »
 :drunksailor:
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Offline Mr Mannn

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Re: Report: 3 Killer Commando Dolphins From Ukraine On The Loose
« Reply #3 on: March 12, 2013, 05:45:39 PM »
Charlie the Tuna is reportedly in hiding.
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Offline JohnnyReb

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Re: Report: 3 Killer Commando Dolphins From Ukraine On The Loose
« Reply #4 on: March 12, 2013, 06:42:05 PM »
Call me when someone fries up some killer catfish.
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Offline Ptarmigan

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Re: Report: 3 Killer Commando Dolphins From Ukraine On The Loose
« Reply #5 on: March 13, 2013, 12:31:12 AM »
Good thing they are not bunnies.
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Offline Conservative Libertarian

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Re: Report: 3 Killer Commando Dolphins From Ukraine On The Loose
« Reply #6 on: March 13, 2013, 06:14:40 AM »
Where's Flipper when we need him?
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Offline Dori

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Re: Report: 3 Killer Commando Dolphins From Ukraine On The Loose
« Reply #7 on: March 13, 2013, 11:34:45 AM »
Maybe they're double agents.  We had some attack dolphins go missing after Katrina.
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Offline Eupher

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Re: Report: 3 Killer Commando Dolphins From Ukraine On The Loose
« Reply #8 on: March 13, 2013, 11:36:33 AM »
Quote from: Conservative Libertarian on March 13, 2013, 06:14:40 AM
Where's Flipper when we need him?

Flipper became a gay prostitute and began turning tricks in the Key West area until AIDS caught up with him. He died in 1984.
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Offline Conservative Libertarian

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Re: Report: 3 Killer Commando Dolphins From Ukraine On The Loose
« Reply #9 on: March 13, 2013, 12:17:43 PM »
Quote from: Eupher on March 13, 2013, 11:36:33 AM
Flipper became a gay prostitute and began turning tricks in the Key West area until AIDS caught up with him. He died in 1984.

A sad story indeed.
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Offline CG6468

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Re: Report: 3 Killer Commando Dolphins From Ukraine On The Loose
« Reply #10 on: March 13, 2013, 01:03:47 PM »
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Offline Skul

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Re: Report: 3 Killer Commando Dolphins From Ukraine On The Loose
« Reply #11 on: March 13, 2013, 06:18:28 PM »
Quote from: CG6468 on March 13, 2013, 01:03:47 PM
Was this story flipped?
Yes, it was a small fluke.  :whistling:
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Offline Eupher

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Re: Report: 3 Killer Commando Dolphins From Ukraine On The Loose
« Reply #12 on: March 14, 2013, 07:25:48 AM »
Quote from: Skul on March 13, 2013, 06:18:28 PM
Yes, it was a small fluke.  :whistling:

Small fluke? I dunno. I see a pretty big blowhole here. Enough to torpedo the whole damned story.
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Offline SSG Snuggle Bunny

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Re: Report: 3 Killer Commando Dolphins From Ukraine On The Loose
« Reply #13 on: March 17, 2013, 09:31:44 AM »
It sounds like the plot-line of a $10 million movie:

Quote
Killer Commando Dolphins: Smiling death from the deep

Three dolphins, trained by Ukranian special services, escape their handlers. Driven mad by their experiences they wreak vengeance on a remote Carribean beach-front resort. Starring Jessica Alba as the beautiful young marine biologist desperately trying to warn the greedy resort owner of impending doom. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is the ex-Navy SEAL trying to forget his troubed past while on vacation only to be catapulted into the greatest fight of his life. Co-Starring Haley Joel Osment with special appearance by N'Sync's Joey Patone.
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Offline Mr Mannn

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Re: Report: 3 Killer Commando Dolphins From Ukraine On The Loose
« Reply #14 on: March 17, 2013, 03:30:00 PM »
The dolphins conspired to escape to be mad killers and inspire a terror movie. They were headed towards American waters when a Tuna Trawler scooped them up and processed them as Tuna salad.

Sadly the SciFi made for cable movie never was made.
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Offline Big Dog

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Re: Report: 3 Killer Commando Dolphins From Ukraine On The Loose
« Reply #15 on: March 17, 2013, 03:43:37 PM »
Quote from: SGT Snuggle Bunny on March 17, 2013, 09:31:44 AM
It sounds like the plot-line of a $10 million movie:

Killer Commando Dolphins: Smiling death from the deep

Three dolphins, trained by Ukranian special services, escape their handlers. Driven mad by their experiences they wreak vengeance on a remote Carribean beach-front resort. Starring Jessica Alba as the beautiful young marine biologist desperately trying to warn the greedy resort owner of impending doom. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is the ex-Navy SEAL trying to forget his troubed past while on vacation only to be catapulted into the greatest fight of his life. Co-Starring Haley Joel Osment with special appearance by N'Sync's Joey Patone.


I like it, but it needs Danny Trejo as a Mexican gardener who is actually a Ukrainian sleeper agent!
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Offline Rebel

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Re: Report: 3 Killer Commando Dolphins From Ukraine On The Loose
« Reply #16 on: March 18, 2013, 01:30:14 PM »
Guess it could be worse. It could be laser sharks.



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