A drunk and his dog walk into a bar. The drunk says “Hey Barkeep. Will you buy me a drink if I get my dog to talk?â€
“If that dog talks I’ll buy you drinks all night.â€
So the drunk turns to the dog and asks “Tell me what’s on top of a house.†“Ruff†responds the dog. “See, he said roof.â€
Then he asks the dog “What's on bottom a tree?†The dog barks “Ruffâ€. “He said root.â€
The bartender is far from convinced.
“OK then. Dog, is sandpaper smooth?†The dog seems to shake his head and says “Ruffâ€. “Rough. He said sandpaper’s rough.â€
The bar tender just laughs and points to the door.
“Wait, one more†Says the drunk. “Dog, who’s the greatest baseball player of all time?â€
The dog wags his tail and says “Ruffâ€. “See, the drunk says He said Babe Ruthâ€.
Now mad at wasting his time, the bartender throws both out. The drunk is upset and looks angrily at the dog “What’s the matter with you?†he scolds the mutt.
The dog looks up and says “What, I should’ a said DiMaggio?â€