franksolich seeking an internet match-up with a primitive

[franksolich]

The babbling sister primitive gave me an idea, when she bemoaned that she couldn’t nab a man through one of the internet dating services.  Of course, if she lost about 200 pounds and brightened up her personality, that wouldn’t be a problem for her in real life.

Anyway.

Now, I’m not fond of internet “relationships;” I’ve never had one myself, but those I know about had by others, never turned out well. 

And as such, I’ve never used one of those services.

franksolich is utterly monogamous--although it can be irksome at times--and has no desire, no desire at all, to hitch up with another woman…..especially one on the internet.  What I have, I’m eminently satisfied with.

However, due to my utter failure at finding a primitive to evaluate and study in real life, I’m now wondering if something like it could be done via the internet.  The deal is, I dunno how to go about it--especially how to go about finding an internet matching-service popular with the primitives.

Any ideas?  Anyone?

Being franksolich, there’s no way in Hell I can be on the internet anything other than what I am in real life, so I don’t plan to lie or exaggerate; I’ll just lay out the facts about who and what I am.

Of course, one’s not obligated to tell everything; in fact, I’ve always prided myself in having it down to a fine art, sharing as little of myself as possible while giving the other person the impression I’m sharing it all.

So I wouldn’t lie or exaggerate, but I’d omit.

I need to find an internet matching-service popular with primitives, and there is one de rigueur requirement--no way in Hell can I handle “cuddly” women, and so I want to avoid that.  franksolich is not a “cuddly” sort of person.

[RobJohnson]

Sounds like a crazy idea to me.

There is not much to study, crazy is crazy, especially liberal women on a dating site. Sometimes they lie, like most liberals. You might have an angry husband show up at your door.

[vesta111]

Sounds like a crazy idea to me.

There is not much to study, crazy is crazy, especially liberal women on a dating site. Sometimes they lie, like most liberals. You might have an angry husband show up at your door.

Worse, the "Lady" showed up packing a Dick under her skirt. 

[BlueStateSaint]

Worse, the "Lady" showed up packing a Dick under her skirt. 

H5 for this, vesta, because Occam's Razor pretty much agrees with you.

[miskie]

Primitives are cheap bastards - most of them are unwilling to pay for anything themselves with their own money. Since dating services are quite expensive, and reimbursement is yet to be covered under Obamacare, there is only one place on the internet where one is guaranteed to find primitives looking for relationships.

Craigslist.


http://geo.craigslist.org/iso/us/ne

[franksolich]

Primitives are cheap bastards - most of them are unwilling to pay for anything themselves with their own money. Since dating services are quite expensive, and reimbursement is yet to be covered under Obamacare, there is only one place on the internet where one is guaranteed to find primitives looking for relationships.

Craigslist.

http://geo.craigslist.org/iso/us/ne

Okay, I will check that out.  With care and caution.

By the way, I don't suppose it's necessary to point out that if anything happens, it'll be posted here in the DUmpster, excepting things of a confidential nature (name, address, picture of primitive, whatnot).

[Ballygrl]

Something like this frank?

Join now and meet Democratic singles near you

http://www.democraticpeoplemeet.com/?sid=124&afid=GG1147&st=dating%20democrat&ds=&stype=std&cid=2333759246&agn=A-Democratic&gclid=CKuXtpepmrUCFUQw4AodDjEATg

[franksolich]

Personal details censored out, sorry.

applicant #01:

Trying Again - 35

Just like the headline says, I am looking for something real! I am in my middle 30's, I am as sweet as can be and have a heart of gold, but I am tired of all the head games, players, and the ones who think they can treat me any way they want. I want a nice, kind, sweet, caring, compassionate, loyal man who knows how to treat a lady, and are affectionate.

As you can tell I am not looking for a one night stand, or I would be posting in another section, I am also a curvy woman so if that turns you off I am not for you, I do agree physical attraction is important so when you reply please include a picture. I will return one with my reply.

I am not interested in married men or men who are currently with someone, it goes against everything I am.
I am looking for someone between the ages of 27-43.

applicant #02:

Lets Get Out of the House! - 22

I need/want to make more friends and meet new people in the area. A relationship sounds good, but a new friend sounds just as good right now. I moved here a while ago for a job and it seems I just haven't met people in the amounts that I was hoping to. And by that I mean that I have no friends my age in this area. So, let's go have a beer and get to know each other!
 
About me: 22, college degree, smart, sarcastic, through, helpful, assertive, chatty, and stubborn. I redo furniture and cook, like working with livestock, and watch a lot of TV and movies. I read a fair amount, too. I'm 5'8" and wear a size 20. I think that there isn't near enough snow on the ground, since I would love to go play in the snow. When summer comes, at least back home, I am inseparable from the water. I have a kayak, and I could swim all day. My family and friends are important to me, and there is rarely a day that goes by that I don't call both my parents.

About you: at least over 21, older than me is preferred. It is sad that I have to mention this, but you need to have a car. Past that, be someone that is either outgoing, or someone who listens well enough to make this outgoing girl comfortable. Don't be someone that does drugs, including pot, and hopefully you won't smoke. The smoke and smell drives me nuts. Someone that likes country music would be nice.

applicant #03:

Looking for a good ol boy - 38

Hey there. I'm new here and don't know anyone. I've been single for a year and am not looking to hook up but looking for my soul mate if that really exists. I know my wants in a man are going to sound rude but please know I know what I want and am not willing to settle. I'm looking for a hard working man, preferably over 6 foot, doesn't use drugs and really wants to get to know me, I will not text or email anything sexual because I can go to the local bar and get that.

I'm looking for something real! Kids are ok, as long as the ex isn't going to cause drama! Now about me I'm born and raised in so California, blonde green eyes 5"8 and 160 pounds. I was a derby doll for 10 years and am in pretty good shape. i enjoy the outdoors and sitting by a camp fire with a beer. Please put the month you were born in the subject line (cause I do believe in astrology) and I know who I get along with and whom I don't.

applicant #04:

BBW seeking Valentine for LTR - 30

I can't believe I'm doing this, but I resolve that 2013 has SOMEONE out there that is worth spending time with, and my church doesn't have any singles my age. I'm going to be blunt with what I want, and I hope this works.

• Have a career -- I have worked VERY hard on mine, so I find goal-oriented men HOT
• Live within an hour of here -- Even though long-distance relationships have its benefits (anticipation, great nookie, etc), I am really interested in someone local to spend time with, doing life's mundane tasks with
• Gentlemanly -- I enjoy having my door opened for me, my hand held, and "protected", I enjoy romance and being "wooed"
• Tall'ish -- I'm 5'8", so please be as tall or taller ... the taller the better!
• Good hygiene -- showers and brushing teeth are a MUST
• Tobacco Free -- I'm allergic to smoke, and let's face it, chewing is just GROSS
• Be Age Appropriate - I am usually attracted to older men, so please be between 30-45
• Finds intelligent BBW attractive -- I'm working on getting healthier, but I still Chunky Dunk instead of Skinny Dip. If you can't find big women attractive, thanks for your time, and happy hunting!

I'm looking for a LTR, not a NSA (I have BOBs for that), and if you're married, please don't reply. I've been the "other woman" before, and can't do that again. I'm looking to get to know someone to be their valentine, and hopefully have it turn into a serious relationship.

Anybody know what a "BBW" is?

applicant #05:

fun guys wanted - 33

I am an attractive single female lookn for someone fun to hang out with and see where it goes.lookn for someone between ages 25 to 40..a lil description of me I have red hair and green eyes and average build.lookn for someone who likes to go out,movies,concerts,boating,4wheeln..who's pretty much up for anything.if that's u hit me up:)

There's lots more, but I have to digest all this, ruminate upon it, mull it over.

[Ballygrl]

BBW=Big Beautiful Woman.

Just a comment, these women want men who are goal oriented and have careers, I don't think men like that would be posting on Craigslist Personals.

[franksolich]

BBW=Big Beautiful Woman.

Just a comment, these women want men who are goal oriented and have careers, I don't think men like that would be posting on Craigslist Personals.

Well, this is Nebraska craigslist, remember.

It might be difficult to find a femme primitive here.

Is a woman 5'8" and wears a size 20 a petite woman?

[Ballygrl]

Is a woman 5'8" and wears a size 20 a petite woman?

No, not petite at all, petite is someone of smaller stature, someone who's short and I would think weight appropriate, not sure if they make large sizes for women who are petite stature-wise.

[Ballygrl]

I went to the Craigslist Personals and wow those people are angry! What the heck do they expect? they're posting an ad on Craigslist and they really think their comments like "don't reply if you don't fit any of my wants" etc. will actually keep horny guys away?

[franksolich]

No, not petite at all, petite is someone of smaller stature, someone who's short and I would think weight appropriate, not sure if they make large sizes for women who are petite stature-wise.

Okay, the femme in real life is size 8, give or take a little tad bit either way.  She's 5'9".  I've never inquired her exact weight, but she's liftable.  But whatever; she's ideal, perfect in every proportion.

Now, since I'm looking for a primitive femme, size doesn't matter, although it's reasonable to suspect that primitive femmes tend to be, uh, rather large, along the lines of the LynneSin primitive or Big Bertha.

I think only one of these first five applicants even remotely is a primitive, given the location.  But as I'm new to the internet-matching thing, this right now's kind of a first-dip-into-the-water.  I'll learn the ropes, but not in one day or one week.

[Ballygrl]

Okay, the femme in real life is size 8, give or take a little tad bit either way.  She's 5'9".  I've never inquired her exact weight, but she's liftable.  But whatever; she's ideal, perfect in every proportion.

Now, since I'm looking for a primitive femme, size doesn't matter, although it's reasonable to suspect that primitive femmes tend to be, uh, rather large, along the lines of the LynneSin primitive or Big Bertha.

I think only one of these first five applicants even remotely is a primitive, given the location.  But as I'm new to the internet-matching thing, this right now's kind of a first-dip-into-the-water.  I'll learn the ropes, but not in one day or one week.

Not sure if people advertise their political leanings though on Craigslist.

Just did a search with the word "Democrat" and only 1 ad came up. Oh jeez, just did a search with the term "Republican" and this came up:

You're not homophobic, not an ableist, and if you are a republican you support pro choice.

So how many great men has she passed up because he might be pro-life? and not an ableist?

[Ballygrl]

Hey frank, did Sarah write this letter?

http://www.more.com/relationships/dating-sex-love/democrat-dating-republican-can-it-last

Q. I’m 45 and never married though a survivor of many relationships. I’m not petty — I can handle it if a guy is shorter, fatter, poorer, bald, etc. But I’ve recently met someone I’m wildly attracted to and there is a problem — major! I’m half laughing, half crying as I write this. He’s a diehard Republican; I’m an Obama girl. Clearly our politics are miles apart. Whenever he brings up the election I want to scream but settle for closing his mouth with a kiss. When the chemistry fades, is the relationship doomed to fall apart?— Ellen

A. So you’d prefer he were a bankrupt, pot-bellied midget rather than a McCain supporter! In this heated climate, as the election finally heads toward its swan song, many singles (especially women) maintain strong negative feelings about dating outside their party, according to Washington-based psychotherapist Toni Coleman, LCSW. The founder of the dating advice site Consum-mate.com, Coleman (herself an independent who supports Obama and is married to a staunch Republican) explains, "There seems to be an underlying belief that the values held by these two parties are very different."

A difference in worldviews broke up Katie Clarkson’s year-long bipartisan relationship. The 40-year-old New Jersey graphic artist shudders as she recalls, "I justified dating him because he classified himself as a Libertarian. But I dumped him after it became painfully clear there was a fundamental chasm in the ways we [each] view our neighbors and our responsibility toward them — he lives the lifestyle of a privileged white male — which became increasingly difficult to reconcile given the worsening situation in this country."

Can’t blue and red singles ever all just get along? In Obama-speak: Yes we can. A January 2008 survey by the social networking site Engage.com found that 85 percent of those polled are open to dating someone outside their party. Indeed, ardent Democrat Elaine Cole prides herself on subscribing to a "Republicans Are People, Too" philosophy. The divorced 50-year-old Texas events manager is currently dating someone from the other camp. She explains, "As long as you agree to disagree and not try to pound your ideologies down the other’s throat, the relationship can last." Most important: Keep your sense of humor. "I invited him to come over to watch Obama’s acceptance speech. We both got a good laugh out of that and made a date for a movie the following week." Still, despite the concerted effort the couple expend to respect one another, she admits, "It’s sometimes hard to stay calm."

Harder perhaps for Democrats? The Engage.com survey discovered that single Republicans cop to fewer qualms about crossing party lines for romance. Engage.com VP Trish McDermott says, "The issues that might potentially divide a couple may feel more pressing to Democrats. A Republican can believe in less government control yet want to kiss someone who feels the opposite."

Another possible reason for this divide is offered by political consultant James Carville: "Democrats are hotter!" Carville, the former President Clinton operative is of course married to Mary Matalin, former counselor to Vice President Cheney. Carville and Matalin’s passion for politics and their respective party positions has translated into an uber-successful "mixed" marriage.

The political may be personal, but the only way to make a relationship between ideological opposites work is to not personalize the differences between you. Debating is fine; disagreeing, also acceptable. Personally incorrect behavior would be straying into emotional territory by attacking each other’s beliefs.

[longview]

 I've never inquired her exact weight, but she's liftable.  But whatever; she's ideal, perfect in every proportion.

Made me laugh!  Love it. 

[vesta111]

Okay, the femme in real life is size 8, give or take a little tad bit either way.  She's 5'9".  I've never inquired her exact weight, but she's liftable.  But whatever; she's ideal, perfect in every proportion.

Now, since I'm looking for a primitive femme, size doesn't matter, although it's reasonable to suspect that primitive femmes tend to be, uh, rather large, along the lines of the LynneSin primitive or Big Bertha.

I think only one of these first five applicants even remotely is a primitive, given the location.  But as I'm new to the internet-matching thing, this right now's kind of a first-dip-into-the-water.  I'll learn the ropes, but not in one day or one week.

   If my hubby were to run off tomorrow with a pole dancer then I would advertise myself as____

Single,  getting long in the tooth, the one I have left.     Have steady income, hate kids and like pets as long as someone else cleans up after them.

Enjoy cooking but not housework,  don't need a TV,  or radio, I read allot of wierd stuff.   Do not like dining out or the movies.  I do not socialise with others but enjoy the Internet.  

Looking for a one legged fat man,  one that will be greatfull to have anykind of woman around.  If you are looking for a Granny Clampet I am your girl.

[Ballygrl]

vesta!

[franksolich]

Made me laugh!  Love it. 

Well, she has to be reasonably light, given her "profession" in the "fine arts" as a dance and theater arts instructor--part of the Johnny Carson influence and industry here.  If you've never seen gaillards, voltas, danses, pavanes, allemands, you'll have to take my word for it--they're very vigorous.

However, given the ever-more-gloomy economic prospects, all this fine arts stuff is likely to fall off to the wayside as people scramble for real work to get bread and shelter.

But her personal prospects aren't that bad; she knows how to sew, and if worse comes to worse, she could make a living as a seamstress.  Always sewing, always stitching, always hemming, she is.  Mostly renaissance-era costumes, but some of which (blouses) she uses as everyday attire too.

An easy person for whom to buy a Christmas present--a single long-stemmed white rose with five $100 gift cards from Hobby Lobby; she's such a good customer they even special-order fabrics for her.

[franksolich]

Okay, vesta dear, these are a good idea of the sort of primitive femme I'm looking for.

For strictly a hands-off internet "relationship," of course.

[Freeper]

 If my hubby were to run off tomorrow with a pole dancer then I would advertise myself as____

Single,  getting long in the tooth, the one I have left.     Have steady income, hate kids and like pets as long as someone else cleans up after them.

Enjoy cooking but not housework,  don't need a TV,  or radio, I post allot of wierd stuff.   Do not like dining out or the movies.  I do not socialise with others but enjoy the Internet.  

Looking for a one legged fat man,  one that will be greatfull to have anykind of woman around.  If you are looking for a Granny Clampet I am your girl.

It needed one small fix, my dear Vesta.

 

[Freeper]

Find two more Frank and we can make a calender for 2014, the moonbat ladies of the DUmp.
 

[Dori]

Frank, for your primitive study, I vote for the gardening lady with the tatoo.  She doesn't look like the cuddly type, (with men anyway), not into fluffy stuff or superficial material things, hard worker, independent and she has dimples.   

[franksolich]

Frank, for your primitive study, I vote for the gardening lady with the tatoo.  She doesn't look like the cuddly type, (with men anyway), not into fluffy stuff or superficial material things, hard worker, independent and she has dimples.   

I dunno; I'm rather fond of the twins in the last photograph.

Not two at once; I don't swing that way.  But one or the other.

[jtyangel]

Well, she has to be reasonably light, given her "profession" in the "fine arts" as a dance and theater arts instructor--part of the Johnny Carson influence and industry here.  If you've never seen gaillards, voltas, danses, pavanes, allemands, you'll have to take my word for it--they're very vigorous.

However, given the ever-more-gloomy economic prospects, all this fine arts stuff is likely to fall off to the wayside as people scramble for real work to get bread and shelter.

But her personal prospects aren't that bad; she knows how to sew, and if worse comes to worse, she could make a living as a seamstress.  Always sewing, always stitching, always hemming, she is.  Mostly renaissance-era costumes, but some of which (blouses) she uses as everyday attire too.

An easy person for whom to buy a Christmas present--a single long-stemmed white rose with five $100 gift cards from Hobby Lobby; she's such a good customer they even special-order fabrics for her.

Your femme is practically BEG lol