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Author Topic: DUmmy Can't Even Succeed At Suicide  (Read 4269 times)

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Offline GOBUCKS

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DUmmy Can't Even Succeed At Suicide
« on: January 20, 2013, 04:13:02 PM »
Following is from the DUmp's boobyhatch, which has seen a drastic falloff in activity lately. Only three threads since Friday.

At his best, DUmmy Dennis the Menace, the DUmp's professionally diagnosed lunatic, can start that many threads in a couple of hours.

The loonybin just isn't the same without crazy Dennis.
Quote
Sun Jan 20, 2013, 02:00 PM

easttexaslefty (987 posts)

I need to vent this.
Look. I have a mental illness. My mental illness are major depression, PTSD and an anxiety disorder.
The trigger of mental illness was the suicide of my 33 year old son by hanging. I also found his dead body.
Since his death I have attempted suicide 3 times. Once by hanging. It is incredibly difficult and physically painful to die that way. Leaning into that rope hurts and you know you could flap there for at least 5 minutes in terrifying pain. The other 2 times were by overdose. I took many many pills. A ton of pills. Did not kill me. If I had an access to a gun at that time, I would most assuredly be very very dead.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/11513017

Well, DUmmy easttexaslefty, some of us see your bouncy as an argument in favor of easier access to firearms.
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Offline formerlurker

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Re: DUmmy Can't Even Succeed At Suicide
« Reply #1 on: January 20, 2013, 04:17:33 PM »
So let me get this bouncy straight - the guy found hanging too long and painful (seriously can't make that up if you wanted to), and he took many many pills (baby aspirin?).    Thank goodness he didn't have a gun...because??? it's idiot proof?   

 :whatever:
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Offline Mike220

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Re: DUmmy Can't Even Succeed At Suicide
« Reply #2 on: January 20, 2013, 04:18:28 PM »
Fourth times a charm...
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Offline WinOne4TheGipper

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Re: DUmmy Can't Even Succeed At Suicide
« Reply #3 on: January 20, 2013, 04:23:49 PM »
I bet he'd miss anyway.
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Offline I_B_Perky

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Re: DUmmy Can't Even Succeed At Suicide
« Reply #4 on: January 20, 2013, 04:29:19 PM »
Quote
easttexaslefty (987 posts)

I need to vent this.
Look. I have a mental illness. My mental illness are major depression, PTSD and an anxiety disorder.
The trigger of mental illness was the suicide of my 33 year old son by hanging. I also found his dead body.
Since his death I have attempted suicide 3 times. Once by hanging. It is incredibly difficult and physically painful to die that way. Leaning into that rope hurts and you know you could flap there for at least 5 minutes in terrifying pain. The other 2 times were by overdose. I took many many pills. A ton of pills. Did not kill me. If I had an access to a gun at that time, I would most assuredly be very very dead.

Goodness!!! You dummies would mess up a wet dream!!! Here let me help you dummie. Find a very tall building. Go up to the top, jump off, and viola!!! You will succeed!!!  Won't hurt a bit.
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Offline 67 Rover

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Re: DUmmy Can't Even Succeed At Suicide
« Reply #5 on: January 20, 2013, 04:41:04 PM »
Try,try,try again.
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Offline BigTex

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Re: DUmmy Can't Even Succeed At Suicide
« Reply #6 on: January 20, 2013, 04:42:11 PM »
someone should draw him a diagram

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Offline formerlurker

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Re: DUmmy Can't Even Succeed At Suicide
« Reply #7 on: January 20, 2013, 05:06:09 PM »
Quote from: BigTex on January 20, 2013, 04:42:11 PM
someone should draw him a diagram



Too painful, aversion to blood, too much to remember to do it right. 

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Offline formerlurker

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Re: DUmmy Can't Even Succeed At Suicide
« Reply #8 on: January 20, 2013, 05:06:51 PM »
Remember - they need quality material for their next bouncy.   
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Offline formerlurker

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Re: DUmmy Can't Even Succeed At Suicide
« Reply #9 on: January 20, 2013, 05:07:27 PM »
Quote from: I_B_Perky on January 20, 2013, 04:29:19 PM
Goodness!!! You dummies would mess up a wet dream!!! Here let me help you dummie. Find a very tall building. Go up to the top, jump off, and viola!!! You will succeed!!!  Won't hurt a bit.

Afraid of heights.

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Offline BattleHymn

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Re: DUmmy Can't Even Succeed At Suicide
« Reply #10 on: January 20, 2013, 05:10:12 PM »
Quote from: formerlurker on January 20, 2013, 04:17:33 PM
and he took many many pills (baby aspirin?).   
 :whatever:

Somebody, somewhere, has a broken-into collection of PEZ dispensers that are now missing all of the PEZ.
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Offline I_B_Perky

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Re: DUmmy Can't Even Succeed At Suicide
« Reply #11 on: January 20, 2013, 05:18:54 PM »
Quote from: formerlurker on January 20, 2013, 05:07:27 PM
Afraid of heights.



You are probably right. In that case dummie, go stand in front a fast moving freight train.
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Offline BattleHymn

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Re: DUmmy Can't Even Succeed At Suicide
« Reply #12 on: January 20, 2013, 05:22:05 PM »
Quote from: I_B_Perky on January 20, 2013, 05:18:54 PM
You are probably right. In that case dummie, go stand in front a fast moving freight train.

I'm sure this primitive would do that, except he probably already has a pending disability claim with SS over his alleged siderodromophobia, and any photos of him around there might jeopardize his claim.
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Offline diesel driver

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Re: DUmmy Can't Even Succeed At Suicide
« Reply #13 on: January 20, 2013, 05:49:54 PM »
Quote from: I_B_Perky on January 20, 2013, 05:18:54 PM
You are probably right. In that case dummie, go stand in front a fast moving freight train.

Go to NYC and have someone push you off the subway platform in front of a moving train.

They're 2 for 2 so far.    :naughty:
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Offline formerlurker

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Re: DUmmy Can't Even Succeed At Suicide
« Reply #14 on: January 20, 2013, 05:51:21 PM »
Quote from: BattleHymn on January 20, 2013, 05:22:05 PM
I'm sure this primitive would do that, except he probably already has a pending disability claim with SS over his alleged siderodromophobia, and any photos of him around there might jeopardize his claim.

AHAHAHAHA.

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Offline Carl

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Re: DUmmy Can't Even Succeed At Suicide
« Reply #15 on: January 20, 2013, 06:04:22 PM »
How does one fail at hanging themselves?
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Offline diesel driver

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Re: DUmmy Can't Even Succeed At Suicide
« Reply #16 on: January 20, 2013, 06:09:53 PM »
Quote from: Carl on January 20, 2013, 06:04:22 PM
How does one fail at hanging themselves?

Aw, hell, Carl.

DUmmies could fail at Russian Roulette with a semi-automatic pistol.  :lmao:
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Murphy's 3rd Law:  "You can't make anything 'idiot DUmmie proof'.  The world will just create a better idiot DUmmie."

Liberals are like Slinkys.  Basically useless, but they do bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs...
 
Global warming supporters believe that a few hundred million tons of CO2 has more control over our climate than a million mile in diameter, unshielded thermo-nuclear fusion reactor at the middle of the solar system.

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Offline Firekrakka

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Re: DUmmy Can't Even Succeed At Suicide
« Reply #17 on: January 20, 2013, 06:14:33 PM »
>> I had an access to a gun at that time, I would most assuredly be very very dead.<<

Wizard of Oz comes to mind.

"As Coroner I must aver, I thoroughly examined her. And she's not only merely dead, she's really most sincerely dead!"
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Offline tac

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Re: DUmmy Can't Even Succeed At Suicide
« Reply #18 on: January 20, 2013, 06:16:31 PM »
You and everyone else in the DUmp. Isn't that a requirement for joining?
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Offline Ogre

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Re: DUmmy Can't Even Succeed At Suicide
« Reply #19 on: January 20, 2013, 06:22:09 PM »
The DUmmy should get them one of those guns that fires itself.  After all the DUmmies claim it isn't the person that does the killing, it's the gun. :fuelfire:
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Offline I_B_Perky

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Re: DUmmy Can't Even Succeed At Suicide
« Reply #20 on: January 20, 2013, 07:17:47 PM »
Quote from: diesel driver on January 20, 2013, 05:49:54 PM
Go to NYC and have someone push you off the subway platform in front of a moving train.

They're 2 for 2 so far.    :naughty:

 :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Or the dummie could go to Chicago and try to rehab some gang members. Everyone knows nobody in Chicago has guns, what with their strict gun control laws.    :fuelfire: :fuelfire:
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Offline BadCat

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Re: DUmmy Can't Even Succeed At Suicide
« Reply #21 on: January 20, 2013, 07:29:02 PM »
Well DUmmy, sorry your attempts to off yourself failed, but I'm sure you're used to failure.

Sad part is, since your "king" issued his decrees on firearms, there will be no real line between mental health records and the federal government and law enforcement.  The government will know you're an insane waste of skin, and will refuse to sell you a firearm.

Better learn to tie a hangman's noose.
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Offline Tucker

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Re: DUmmy Can't Even Succeed At Suicide
« Reply #22 on: January 20, 2013, 07:56:55 PM »
His tales of attempted suicide is nothing more than a ruse. His real objective is a gun control agenda.

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If I had an access to a gun at that time, I would most assuredly be very very dead.
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Offline Big Dog

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Re: DUmmy Can't Even Succeed At Suicide
« Reply #23 on: January 20, 2013, 09:00:58 PM »
In his honor, I propose The East Texas Lefty Act.

Any DUMMY who presents to a local police station or sheriff's office with a printout of his/her DU membership will be provided, at no cost, one firearm and one round of ammunition from disposed property. DUmmies must pay for disposal of their remains, or agree to whole-body donation at no cost to the government.

Net cost to taxpayers: Administrative cost of processing application (ten minutes).

No DUmmy need ever fail at suicide again!
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Offline GOBUCKS

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Re: DUmmy Can't Even Succeed At Suicide
« Reply #24 on: January 20, 2013, 09:01:30 PM »
Quote
If I had an access to a gun at that time, I would most assuredly be very very dead.

Well, damn.
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