rsmith0293784723897 does some forensic accounting

[jtyangel]

  I know, Gina.  That cover letter has been a long-standing source of comedy gold for us ever since it materialized.  What a fun day that was! 

Well, his wife is just as stupid as he is.  Witness the cover letter.  Before uprooting and moving, shouldn't she have posed some questions about the company?  But wait, DUmmies think all businesses are unspeakably rich cash cows, and all business owners are Scrooge McDuck.

Or richie rich

[jtyangel]

I bet this stupid DUmmy couldn't even understand the simplest of financial statements.  So this couldn't have been avoided anyway.

Lol

[delilahmused]

But why would they go all the way back to Seattle without first looking for a job in the Portland Metro area? Lotta ground to cover & no moving expenses. It probably has about the same opportunities as Seattle. And even if the job was on the other side of the area, Portland does have an excellent bus/light rail system. It would be inconvenient but you could handle it for a year until your lease was up and you were more settled in your new job. For heaven's sake, he could've gotten a job in grasswire's pie shop!

Cindie

[BannedFromDU]

I bet this stupid DUmmy couldn't even understand the simplest of financial statements.  So this couldn't have been avoided anyway.

According to Dun & Bradstreet, Evergreen International has estimated revenues of $500MM+. This is a big company with operations all over the place, and stupid ****head rsmith90210 thinks he can "check around town" and see what kind of shape the company is in, like it's a thrift shop or a local garage.

rsmith8675309 was probably a shitty, extremely low-level employee and got let go, most likely because he insists on running his mouth about politics 24/7, or he showed up high, or he was incompetent, or all three. Which is why rsmith3.14159 is where he is in life, and will never be anything more.

Case closed.

[GOBUCKS]

I know, Gina.  That cover letter has been a long-standing source of comedy gold for us ever since it materialized.  What a fun day that was! 

Well, his wife is just as stupid as he is.  Witness the cover letter. 

I don't believe she wrote it.

Remember, he's a DUmmy.

As far as we know, she isn't.

And he's an outstanding wordsmith:

it was like the Titanic being lifted off my shoulders and a breathe of fresh air.

A beathe of fresh air.

[NHSparky]

Really?!!!  Red Flags went off BIG TIME reading that cover letter.  I would pitch that resume so far out the door.  MAN!  the nerve!

Were I in HR, I'd chuck it out at "Dear Recruiter".  If you can't be bothered to learn a simple point of contact, you're not interested in the company, what they do, etc.

These are the same people who walk into their first interview and say, "So how much are ya gonna pay me?" before the interviewer gets out their first question.