primitives discuss what not to get cooks for Christmas

[franksolich]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/115718453

Oh my.

Glassunion (4,449 posts)    Wed Dec 19, 2012, 09:28 PM

The holidays are upon us. What NOT to get for a foodie/cook/chef/indentured servant...

I was cleaning out my kitchen the other day to look for items a co-worker would need. I have a co-worker who was in need of some things as he had suddenly found himself without a home or possesions. Long story short... She got everything, and he is right now sitting in an apartment with no furnishings, or even so much as the means to cook himself a meal. He has 2 blankets, 1 pillow and 4 days of clothes.
 
Anyhoo... I found that there are things that serve no purpose in my kitchen and thought I should make a list of useless kitchen gadgets that are way too single purpose and should not have money wasted on them. Most of these were gifts, some I still have some I don't.
 
Some of you may have some of these items and love them to death. So I don't want to knock these as being worthless, I'm saying that they are not for me and why.
 
Garlic Peeler - There is no need for a magic tube that you "roll" garlic in and peeled garlic comes out. For one thing it does not work as advertized. For another, evolution gave us the exact tool needed for the job... The heel of your hand. Just hit the SOB with the heel of your hand and the skin just falls off. Cost = $Free
 
Automatic Mandoline Slicer - I received an electric mandoline slicer ($150) as a gift once. non-electric similar product here... I was never happy using it. My main issue with these, is that you are limited as to what you can put in them. You cannot juliane a zuccini as they are too long. Bananas, forget about it, you end up with mush if you peel them, or you spend 10 minutes getting the skin off if you don't peel them. What I found that works best is the cheapest mandoline you can find. If you wander into any proffesional kitchen, you will see an El Cheapo mandoline slicer. There is no need to spend $100 on one either. I have been using the same mandoline slicer for 3 years and it has never let me down. I can slice, waffle cut and juliane with it. Cost = $6
 
Avocado Slicer - Again, another gift. I gave this one up at work. I just brought it to work and left it on a table in the cafeteria. I don't think that 3/4 of the folks that work here even know what the heck it was. Most of us have knives in our kitchen already. If not, your priority should be a good $30(max) chef's knife. Then you have a universal chopper, dicer, peeler, etc... Cost = $Free (if you already own at least 1 knife).
 
Egg Separator - These come in all shapes and sizes. Some will hover over an empty cup, others will strain the white away from the egg. What I found that works best... My hand. I have 2 ways of doing it. A bunch of eggs, I crack them into a bowl, and just carefully scoop out the yolks. Most of the time I just crack the egg, discard 1/2 of the shell and pour the remaining white and yolk into my palm. I slightly separate my fingers until all of the egg white passes through. Cost = $Free
 
Alton Brown has a great theory on choosing items for your kitchen. If it only serves one purpose, you should not have it. Except for the fire extinguisher of course. But he even found a second use for that.
 
Is there anything you ever bought or someone else bought for you that you regret or oyu found wasteful?

Warpy (66,192 posts)    Thu Dec 20, 2012, 12:15 AM

1. The only kitchen thing anyone ever bought me is a 10 inch Calphalon Pro frypan, the heavy one with the long handle and no Teflon. I have used that thing nearly to death and it's still going strong.
 
Many years ago, my ex gave me one of the old 3 legged Mouli slice/grate/julienne machines. I still use it a lot as it's easier to clean than the Cuisinart. If I have a lot to do, the Cuisinart gets a workout. If not, I haul out the Mouli.
 
I agree about the garlic peeler tubes, but I've never gotten the hang of using my hand, arthritis might have interfered. I roll it in a mouse pad or some other piece of flexible rubber.
 
I somewhat agree about the cheap mandolin, my cheapie was $2.95 at a Chinese grocery. I did buy a bigger, heavier, $30 plastic model later on since the Chinese job was only a slicer. The plastic job slices, juliennes and grates. I still use the cheapie for coleslaw cabbage, though, it makes angel hair coleslaw and you can't beat that texture.
 
None of the other stuff would have made it into my kitchen, going right from the gift box into a donation box. That's probably why I've only gotten two kitchen gifts, ever, both total winners.

^^^she with the face like Hindenberg's.

[Carl]

Egg Separator - These come in all shapes and sizes. Some will hover over an empty cup, others will strain the white away from the egg. What I found that works best... My hand. I have 2 ways of doing it. A bunch of eggs, I crack them into a bowl, and just carefully scoop out the yolks. Most of the time I just crack the egg, discard 1/2 of the shell and pour the remaining white and yolk into my palm. I slightly separate my fingers until all of the egg white passes through. Cost = $Free

The basic way of pouring the egg yolk from one half shell to the other a few times doesn`t work anymore?

[LC EFA]

The amount of useless crap these people accumulate...

Then they think they're charitable when they give said pile of useless crap to someone in need...

I bet that twat didn't hand over anything useful like a decent kitchen knife, frypan or microwave-safe cooking dish.

[Skul]

I have a mandoline slicer.
It says "Stihl" on the side. 

[franksolich]

The basic way of pouring the egg yolk from one half shell to the other a few times doesn`t work anymore?

So.....your mother did that too?

[Carl]

So.....your mother did that too?

As have I,it only takes a few seconds and has always seemed to work just fine.

[franksolich]

As have I,it only takes a few seconds and has always seemed to work just fine.

Same here.  Learned from watching mother.

[GOBUCKS]

What I found that works best... My hand. I have 2 ways of doing it.

Hmm.. stevenumbers has a sockpuppet.

[BlueStateSaint]

Same here.  Learned from watching mother.

As did I.

[I_B_Perky]

Glassunion (4,449 posts)    Wed Dec 19, 2012, 09:28 PM

The holidays are upon us. What NOT to get for a foodie/cook/chef/indentured servant...

I was cleaning out my kitchen the other day to look for items a co-worker would need. I have a co-worker who was in need of some things as he had suddenly found himself without a home or possesions. Long story short... She got everything, and he is right now sitting in an apartment with no furnishings, or even so much as the means to cook himself a meal. He has 2 blankets, 1 pillow and 4 days of clothes.

So she got most of his clothes too? Wow. Hard ass divorce judge.  Unless she decided she wanted to be a he.   

[Mike220]

Glassunion (4,449 posts)    Wed Dec 19, 2012, 09:28 PM

The holidays are upon us. What NOT to get for a foodie/cook/chef/indentured servant...

Indentured servant? What is this, the 1600s? We have real servants now.

Jeeves, a cigar and a hundred dollar bill to light it with.

[Celtic Rose]

As did I.

That is the exact method my mother taught me to use.  Works perfectly well, no fancy devices necessary. 

Perhaps you folks know better than I, are there really people who come out of divorce with no material goods?  It seems like at the minimum, things would be divided roughly 50/50.  Unless, I suppose, there was an excellent prenup and she actually paid for everything during their marriage...

[Carl]

As did I.

I see a trend,perhaps nads could explain it.

[GOBUCKS]

Indentured servant? What is this, the 1600s? We have real servants now.

Jeeves, a cigar and a hundred dollar bill to light it with.

I'm afraid you aren't attuned to DUmp humor.

[IassaFTots]

That is the exact method my mother taught me to use.  Works perfectly well, no fancy devices necessary. 

Perhaps you folks know better than I, are there really people who come out of divorce with no material goods?  It seems like at the minimum, things would be divided roughly 50/50.  Unless, I suppose, there was an excellent prenup and she actually paid for everything during their marriage...

It's definitely possible.  I got divorced because I caught my ex cheating.  He felt so bad about it he told me I could take everything I wanted and he would take what's left.  I didn't take enough.  Schmuck filed bankruptcy after the divorce and I had to pay all his bills.  Lesson learned.

[I_B_Perky]

That is the exact method my mother taught me to use.  Works perfectly well, no fancy devices necessary. 

Perhaps you folks know better than I, are there really people who come out of divorce with no material goods?  It seems like at the minimum, things would be divided roughly 50/50.  Unless, I suppose, there was an excellent prenup and she actually paid for everything during their marriage...

I suppose it could happen CR. But his clothes? I just cannot see any judge in his/her right mind ceding the clothes.  She could have taken them all down to goodwill or set them on fire. Wouldn't be the first time that ever happened in the world.

Now that I think about it... these are dummies... he may not have had more than 4 pairs of clothes. Probably unwashed at that. Might have had something to do with the divorce. 

[Chris_]

Perhaps you folks know better than I, are there really people who come out of divorce with no material goods?  It seems like at the minimum, things would be divided roughly 50/50.  Unless, I suppose, there was an excellent prenup and she actually paid for everything during their marriage...

When my parents divorced, my mother didn't contest anything and let him keep all their assets (with the exception of his 401k).  She just wanted to end their marriage and get on with her own life.