Why does the oblate spheroid's husband need a gun for self-defense?
All he has to do is throw her, stark naked, against an intruder during the middle of the night, and the guy's gone.
At the speed of light, he's gone.
I'm aware of only one armed robbery in my little hometown since the turn of the twentieth century (the population of 0bamaites is zero).
In that case it was literally a mom-and-pop grocery store.
The criminal, not local, probably from Michigan, held the couple at gunpoint and demanded they give him the cash register receipts.
Pop threw Mom against the gunman, startling hell out of him, and fetched his pistol from underneath the register.
The robber fled, and Pop emptied his pistol down the middle of the street at the accelerating getaway car.
I don't think the guy was ever caught, but he never came back, either.
