Babybean, you simply enjoy being mean. Quit lying to yourself.
Compassion to you=envy, hatred, intolerance, and class warfare.
Worst of all, you are stuck being you. You will always be a clueless idiot that horrible things happen to because of your life choices and you will never, ever be able to realize it and you will go through life a bitter, grasping, husk always looking for the next person to blame.
Nobody loves you and you are incapable of being loved.