I didn't know where this should be posted

[BEG]

How do you keep your friggen dog off the couch?  Toby has a licking problem. He licks all day, every day. He gets on my couch and licks...licks...licks himself and the couch.  Recently he has started getting the the top of one of the back cushions so he can sit on it and look out the window.  My cushion is a  crumpled mess, the couch is a microfiber (a very nice microfiber, not the cheap stuff) sectional and the cushions are down filled.

I can wipe the couch with a damp sponge and get the lick marks off and take the back cushion off and jump all over it and it goes back to normal shape BUT I shouldn't have to. This weekend I vacuumed every inch of this couch.  I vacuumed under it, took the cushions off and vacuumed there, vacummed all the cushions and pillows, jumped on all the cushions to fluff them up then switch cushions so we don't sit on the same ones all the time. The back cushion he sits on all the time is already a mess. I want him to stay off the couch. Every time I see him on it I tell him to get down but when I'm not home or not in the room he gets on it. I'm starting to resent ****ing **** **** (Toby's nick name).

[thundley4]

My Dog Lives Here
 
My dog and I live in this house. You are welcome to come and visit me anytime but we have a few things that you must understand before you visit.

You must expect a few dog hairs to stick to your clothes. I vacuum and clean every day but a Dog lives in this house too.

You may be licked and given a paw a few times but he does this because he loves people and wants to say hello, so if you feel that you are too good for his love then you are not welcome here because this is his home too.

My dog is well mannered and very clean but if you are one of those people who think all animals are dirty and smell then go away. You are not the type of person that I care to associate with.

If you don't like the sound of barking, then my home is not going to be a comfortable place for you to visit. My dog protects me by letting me know I have a visitor. Whether it be a friend or uninvited stranger. If you are a friend, my dog will consider you his friend too but if you are an
unwelcome guest, my dog will protect me with his life as I would his. Do not expect me to lock my dog in another room during your visit. I have trained my dog well so he will not do anything to you except maybe want a pat on the  head.

I will not subject him to feel as if he is being punished by locking him away for no reason. That would just be cruel.

When you walk in my home, be careful not to trip on a squeaky toy or a bone. These are my dog's little treasures and I will not take them away from him just to show you that I keep a clean house. He knows where all his toys are. They may not look like much to you, but to him, they are worth more than gold.

You see, This is OUR home. We have been together since he was a small pup scampering around the house, a tiny bit of a thing only a few weeks old. I raised him into a well mannered, beautifully behaved dog. I am proud of him.

I consider him my personal gift from God. He has done nothing but give me his endless love and devotion for many years. I love him dearly and want to make his years happy ones. As happy as he makes mine.

When you go home to your family, he stays here with me. A fine and loving companion. He is MY family and I wouldn't change that for the world. When times were hard, we both went hungry. When it was cold and there was no heat, we both kept each warm. When I was sick, he stayed
right by my side as I did his when he was not having a good day.

A better friend I could not ask for. When no one else cared, my dog did. He has given me nothing but pure joy and I love him endlessly.

So please understand that I am not being rude. I'm just looking out for my best friend.

[IassaFTots]

I love love love my dog.  My dog doesn't get on the furniture tho.  He is a dog.  He is 10 and doesn't get on the furniture, or try to.  But, we trained him that way from the git-go.  I don't have a clue how you could correct that behavior now. 

[Wineslob]

[Alpha Mare]

Fly paper. Any sticky paper will work.

[zeitgeist]

The beagle has her own micro fabric recliner which she took over when she was told NO to jumping on the couch.  She will grudgingly allow others in her recliner on occasion but expects a lap in return.

Try giving Toby his own spot and when he is on the couch tell him no and put him there.  One friend used aversion therapy putting snap traps which would go off when her dog jumped on the couch. Didn't trap the dog just scared him when he jumped on it.  I believe there are commercial aversion products available ( kind of like an invisible fence for couches? )  Try these guys >  http://www.drsfostersmith.com/


Of course you don't want to frighten the poor pup too badly or you will end up spending a fortune for a puppy psychologist.

[Gina]

   I was going to say with all that licking Wineslobber would be in this thread

[J P Sousa]

How do you keep your friggen dog off the couch?  Toby has a licking problem. He licks all day, every day. He gets on my couch and licks...licks...licks himself and the couch.  Recently he has started getting the the top of one of the back cushions so he can sit on it and look out the window.  My cushion is a  crumpled mess, the couch is a microfiber (a very nice microfiber, not the cheap stuff) sectional and the cushions are down filled.

I can wipe the couch with a damp sponge and get the lick marks off and take the back cushion off and jump all over it and it goes back to normal shape BUT I shouldn't have to. This weekend I vacuumed every inch of this couch.  I vacuumed under it, took the cushions off and vacuumed there, vacummed all the cushions and pillows, jumped on all the cushions to fluff them up then switch cushions so we don't sit on the same ones all the time. The back cushion he sits on all the time is already a mess. I want him to stay off the couch. Every time I see him on it I tell him to get down but when I'm not home or not in the room he gets on it. I'm starting to resent ****ing **** **** (Toby's nick name).

So this IS Recent.

My dog likes to look outside and I supose most do, so is there a way he/she can be on a chair you don't mind him/her to be on ?

We have a chair (my wife's chair) that he spends most of his time laying on top. I make sure my dog knows he is NOT to be on the couch. My voice is low and loud so it may be just me since he does not listen to my wife. 

I have an empty soda can with pennies in it to shake when I don't want to yell at him and it does the trick.

Since the problem is recent, you may have a chance to retrain him/her as long as it has a way to look outside.

I hope this helps.
.

[BEG]

So this IS Recent.

My dog likes to look outside and I supose most do, so is there a way he/she can be on a chair you don't mind him/her to be on ?

We have a chair (my wife's chair) that he spends most of his time laying on top. I make sure my dog knows he is NOT to be on the couch. My voice is low and loud so it may be just me since he does not listen to my wife. 

I have an empty soda can with pennies in it to shake when I don't want to yell at him and it does the trick.

Since the problem is recent, you may have a chance to retrain him/her as long as it has a way to look outside.

I hope this helps.
.

Thank you, you were helpful.

[cmypay]

Years ago, I had a lab that did what yours is doing now. We put newspaper over top of the cushions. She didn't like the sound it made when she got up there, so she stopped getting on the couch.

[BEG]

Here is what Toby is doing to my cushion.

[IassaFTots]

That newspaper would be a good idea.  My Mom used it for her cats. 

[vesta111]

My Dog Lives Here
 
My dog and I live in this house. You are welcome to come and visit me anytime but we have a few things that you must understand before you visit.

You must expect a few dog hairs to stick to your clothes. I vacuum and clean every day but a Dog lives in this house too.

You may be licked and given a paw a few times but he does this because he loves people and wants to say hello, so if you feel that you are too good for his love then you are not welcome here because this is his home too.

My dog is well mannered and very clean but if you are one of those people who think all animals are dirty and smell then go away. You are not the type of person that I care to associate with.

If you don't like the sound of barking, then my home is not going to be a comfortable place for you to visit. My dog protects me by letting me know I have a visitor. Whether it be a friend or uninvited stranger. If you are a friend, my dog will consider you his friend too but if you are an
unwelcome guest, my dog will protect me with his life as I would his. Do not expect me to lock my dog in another room during your visit. I have trained my dog well so he will not do anything to you except maybe want a pat on the  head.

I will not subject him to feel as if he is being punished by locking him away for no reason. That would just be cruel.

When you walk in my home, be careful not to trip on a squeaky toy or a bone. These are my dog's little treasures and I will not take them away from him just to show you that I keep a clean house. He knows where all his toys are. They may not look like much to you, but to him, they are worth more than gold.

You see, This is OUR home. We have been together since he was a small pup scampering around the house, a tiny bit of a thing only a few weeks old. I raised him into a well mannered, beautifully behaved dog. I am proud of him.

I consider him my personal gift from God. He has done nothing but give me his endless love and devotion for many years. I love him dearly and want to make his years happy ones. As happy as he makes mine.

When you go home to your family, he stays here with me. A fine and loving companion. He is MY family and I wouldn't change that for the world. When times were hard, we both went hungry. When it was cold and there was no heat, we both kept each warm. When I was sick, he stayed
right by my side as I did his when he was not having a good day.

A better friend I could not ask for. When no one else cared, my dog did. He has given me nothing but pure joy and I love him endlessly.

So please understand that I am not being rude. I'm just looking out for my best friend.

^5 to you.


Question here, What would you do if this was not a dog but a 18 month year old kid ?????  Company at the door---- clean up their toys, lock them in their room and hope to heck the child teething has not drooled down the back of what ever they can climb on ????

Oh no the baby got out of their diaper and fingerpainted the walls in the hall,  and gave themselves a interesting facial and moused their hair.

 Here's mother in law at the door and she has no sense of humor.   Baby is going through the stage some children go through, for no reason they will bite others.  How to detach a child with jaws firmly attached to Grand Mom's nose.  

Me I can put up with a litter of Pups easier then I could a young child at my age.  I paid my dues 4 fold and today having my dog jump on the couch to snuggle with me or Hubby is no big deal.   I have more furniture wrecked from the kids spitting up on them, spilling drinks on the and somehow found bingo makers that I forgot we had.    

 Dog sleeps with us watching out for the boogie man under the bed and the only place Hubby goes without her is to work. She will climb on the back of the sofa and curl up around Hubby's neck.   I put a small end table under the window and she sits there for an hour or so watching for her Daddy to come home from work.

I have no furniture more valuable then her,  so far none of the Coon Cats have scratched or torn our furniture nor has she, but if they did, this stuff is just THINGS easy to replace.    Them, not so easy if at all possible.  My Stuff doesn't give a hoot about me, but my Fur baby's do care, comes down to Priorities in life.

[Big Dog]

How do you keep your friggen dog off the couch?  Toby has a licking problem. He licks all day, every day. He gets on my couch and licks...licks...licks himself and the couch.  

If the vet hadn't taken Toby's balls, he'd spend more time licking himself, instead of your couch cushions!

(Toby, not the vet. I have no idea if your veterinarian licks his balls)

[BEG]

^5 to you.


Question here, What would you do if this was not a dog but a 18 month year old kid ?????  Company at the door---- clean up their toys, lock them in their room and hope to heck the child teething has not drooled down the back of what ever they can climb on ????

Oh no the baby got out of their diaper and fingerpainted the walls in the hall,  and gave themselves a interesting facial and moused their hair.

 Here's mother in law at the door and she has no sense of humor.   Baby is going through the stage some children go through, for no reason they will bite others.  How to detach a child with jaws firmly attached to Grand Mom's nose.  

Me I can put up with a litter of Pups easier then I could a young child at my age.  I paid my dues 4 fold and today having my dog jump on the couch to snuggle with me or Hubby is no big deal.   I have more furniture wrecked from the kids spitting up on them, spilling drinks on the and somehow found bingo makers that I forgot we had.    

 Dog sleeps with us watching out for the boogie man under the bed and the only place Hubby goes without her is to work. She will climb on the back of the sofa and curl up around Hubby's neck.   I put a small end table under the window and she sits there for an hour or so watching for her Daddy to come home from work.

I have no furniture more valuable then her,  so far none of the Coon Cats have scratched or torn our furniture nor has she, but if they did, this stuff is just THINGS easy to replace.    Them, not so easy if at all possible.  My Stuff doesn't give a hoot about me, but my Fur baby's do care, comes down to Priorities in life.

I didn't even read all of your drivel. It's not my kid, it is my dog. I'm sorry if this pisses you off but my kids mean more to me than my dog. I also take care of my things because my husband works hard for what we have. 

[BEG]

If the vet hadn't taken Toby's balls, he'd spend more time licking himself, instead of your couch cushions!

(Toby, not the vet. I have no idea if your veterinarian licks his balls)

His "balls were taken" back in 2002. It's an allergy thing, according to the vet.

Edited to add:  I read it as "if the vet would take Toby's balls he would stop licking himself."  I was on my phone when I replied. 

[Miss Mia]

Okay, first find something not pleasing to him to put on top of the sofa, news paper, aluminum foil, something.  And then secondly, since he's using the sofa to look out the window, make him a window spot.  Find a window that's as appeasing as the one he's looking out, i.e. front yard or whatever, and find a way to make it pleasing to him to look out there. 

My cat, Mia, is a window freak.  Thankfully my nightstand in my bedroom is next to a window and she can lay on that and look out the window.  I dunno, maybe put a doggie bed near a window, and I'd say spray it with catnip, so maybe rub it down with bacon. 

[vesta111]

His "balls were taken" back in 2002. It's an allergy thing, according to the vet.

Edited to add:  I read it as "if the vet would take Toby's balls he would stop licking himself."  I was on my phone when I replied. 

Beg, my puppy at 3 years old started to lick herself and scoot about the floor.  The Vet gave us some kind of cream to rub in Down There and the rash went away in a couple of days.  2-3 months later it was back again we figure she has an allergy to something but cannot figure out what and why the rash is all ways in that general area. 

We began to look into cleaning products we use on the carpets and furniture, even wahed all our comforters and pllows on the bed in just water and vinigar.   Seemed to help.   

We stopped using Fabrie on furniture, just a spritz of water and vinigar and same for carpets also.  So far so good going on 4 months now with no flair ups. 

[Dori]

Maybe Toby needs a quilt where he sits, or does he pull it off like mine does?  My couch is a dark leather, so it hasn't been a problem.

[Wineslob]

[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFvkr6GBWLw[/youtube]

[Boudicca]

No advice about training a dog, BEG.  My five have chewed up thousands of dollars of oak furniture, which is bad enough, but have also destroyed the corners of irreplaceable Sorrento inlaid wood furniture.  For anyone who wonders, after going through every frikkin product on the market, I rubbed Vicks on the corners and voila, they all quit gnawing.  Of course the damage was done.
I agree with most of thundley's post re dogs, although I do feel kinda embarrassed for how assholish my dogs act...and for me being such a push over.  It's just that I love them almost as much as I love my kids, and Lord knows my kids did their fair share of destroying my things over the years.  I rescued every one of my dogs, and all the cats, and they all endured alot to get to where they are now.  Thank God my husband is so understanding, if totally exasperated. 
I just spent a mini fortune at the vet last week with two of my dogs, still don't know what caused their vomiting and diarrhea (so fun to clean up), but without intensive care they would be dead.  After that, I resolved to not worry as much about the drifts of hair, or the barking at strangers, or really, hell, anything except that everyone has a clean bill of health and will live to exasperate us this holiday season.
I apologize if this sounds like a self absorbed post, and I do know how irritating a badly behaved dog can be.  After all, I have five living indoors with me, and it's only a 2000 square foot home which also includes the eight cats.  Plus I'm on glass three of wine, and it makes me tend towards the maudlin.
I do hope you can get Toby trained, and if so, let us know how you did it.  And, everyone remember, Vicks vapor rub makes an awesome chew repellent.
Also, if anyone has a clue where to get Sorrento coffee tables outside of Europe, please let me know.

[Thor]

When I first got my German Shepherd, I allowed her on the couch. I found that was a HUGE mistake. Fortunately, since she is older and very well trained, I scolded her, chased her off the couch and she has a new place in front of the seldom used front door. A friend brought over a couple of cheap blankets and we made a pallet for her. She stays there all of the time when she's inside.

[BEG]

I switched the cushions and closed the shutters to see if he would stay off. I went shopping today, came back and could tell he hadn't been on it. Then we went to my daughters band concert and when we came home I could tell he had been up there but it didn't look half as bad as it normally does so I'm wondering if he got up there then noticed the shutters were closed so he got back down. I'm going to try putting news paper (actually tissue paper, I don't want news print to get on my couch) on it tomorrow and put his dog bed by the back door so he can look out that door and see if he gets up there.

[thundley4]

Does he normally do this when no one is home?  And can he see the driveway from the window?  Our Beagle will look out the picture window to watch for the mailman, but she also sits there and waits for us when we're gone.

Our first Beagle did the same, so we bought a cedar chest, put some cushioning and covering fabric on it and place it by the window.  It makes for added storage space, an extra seat and a place for the dog to wait for us.

[BEG]

Does he normally do this when no one is home?  And can he see the driveway from the window?  Our Beagle will look out the picture window to watch for the mailman, but she also sits there and waits for us when we're gone.

Our first Beagle did the same, so we bought a cedar chest, put some cushioning and covering fabric on it and place it by the window.  It makes for added storage space, an extra seat and a place for the dog to wait for us.

No, thank God. He would be barking every minute of every hour if he could see the front of the house where people might actually walk by.  He is a schnauzer, barking is what they do.

He does it when we are home too but I yell at him when I see him up there.  This recently started, Chloe use to get up on the back cushion of our leather couch to look out the front window side window (side light i think they are called) next to our front door. Even though it was pretty far away from the couch she could still see out the window. She also did it when we lived in CA but the couch was in front of a window that faced the front yard with a ton of people walking by all the time. Oddly Toby, the uncontrollable barker, never got up there until about three months ago or so.

Little bastid.