I was sort of giving the dick inspector the benefit of the doubt (as I always do with DUmpmonkeys), but on second reading this is one of the funniest DUmp fabrications of the year.
Even considering that she actually lives in a singlewide in a dusty, crappy Texas trailer park, her wildest dream would be to live in a tiny little DUmphut in a crappy, dusty Texas tract development. That said, who would she talk to at the bank?:
When I spoke to the bank president about the home improvement loan, he knew the house personally and was more than willing to loan the money.
The bank president (who wears a suit from Mens Wearhouse and sits at a little desk in the middle of the lobby) was more than willing to lose the money.
I am really impressed with this guys work. He is really excited to get to do this house.
He's excited to tear off the roof and install a metal roof, then rebuild the entire DUmphut inside and out, all for 35K.
I didn't know Goodwill had a general contracting department.
Front doors are going to be replaced and an entryway taken out and opened up with pillars of river rock.
Near and dear, not long ago I spent nearly 7K just to replace an entryway door. Nearly died from sticker shock.
Kitchen remodel with stone countertops.
Also near and dear, just spent over 1K for a new top installed on a 48" guest bathroom vanity. Never did a kitchen remodel, but I shudder to think what it would cost.
Even for a DUmmyhut, 35K for what the inspector describes is ludicrous.
Horse with no Brain is pushing really hard for DOTY consideration, but her fantasies are as pitiful as the things Pam Dawson comes up with.