Once upon a time, there was a boy named Barack. He had a stepfather named Sam. Sam worked very hard 53% of the time. Sam earned 1000 dollars a week at his job.

Barack liked to spend money on candy and weed for himself and his friends. Barack used Sam's debit card. Barack spent 1500 dollars a week on candy and weed. No matter how much overtime Sam worked, Barack spent more than Sam earned.

One day, Sam tried to buy a new car. He thought he had money in the bank for a down payment. Sam was surprised when the banker told him that his bank account was overdrawn by 16 trillion dollars, and that he could not have a car loan.

Sam told Barack that he must stop spending money Sam didn't have on candy and weed for his friends. Barack replied by telling Sam that he had cut back on spending from $1500 a week to $1495 a week, and Sam should shut up, keep working, and be happy that Barack was spending his money so wisely.

Barack's friends told Sam that he was a racist for expecting Barack to stop spending money Sam didn't have, because Barack and his friends were entitled to free candy and weed in the name of "fairness" and "social justice".

One day in November, Sam told Barack to move out of his house. Barack's friends told Sam they would burn Sam's house down if Sam kicked Barack out of the house.

Now go to sleep, little DUmmies. I'll tell you the rest of the story in a few weeks.