Las Vegas Leviathan weighs in on cats

[franksolich]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/1018195265

Oh my.

ohnoyoudidnt (312 posts)   Mon Sep 17, 2012, 10:37 PM

Why are cats assholes?

I come home from vacation and my dog is like OMG You're back! YAY WOLF WOLF WOLF WOLF jumping up and down on me, but my cat glares at me from across the room as if to say **** you, asshole.

valerief (32,894 posts)   Mon Sep 17, 2012, 10:38 PM

1. cats aren't needy pains in the ass

Systematic Chaos (7,744 posts)   Mon Sep 17, 2012, 10:40 PM

3. They're not?

Tell that to our Calis, who insists on being up on the table right next to me all damn day long, making doing things at the computer difficult to say the least.

The Las Vegas Leviathan hasn't given the progress report yet that he promised the primitives.

The cat's probably on the table hoping to snatch some of the dried cat food the Las Vegas Leviathan is chomping down himself, as if popcorn.  One can't trust the Las Vegas Leviathan near anything that's food, for either people or animals.

He'll dine upon it regardless.

Anyway, one hopes--probably in vain--the Las Vegas Leviathan is at the computer logged on to the Nevada Job Service site.

[Duke Nukum]

Cats are more sensitive. You abandoned your kitty for a week he/she wants to make sure you know it doesn't like you leaving.

[delilahmused]

valerief (32,894 posts)   Mon Sep 17, 2012, 10:38 PM

1. cats aren't needy pains in the ass

Evidently she's never run into UGP high on pineapple juice.

Cindie

[I_B_Perky]

Evidently she's never run into UGP high on pineapple juice.

Cindie

 

[Evil_Conservative]

Calis?  Just say calico's. 

[Jasonw560]

That's funny....I thought libs would love cats. They have so much in common.

They both:
Are aloof
Sleep all day
Don't hang around you unless they want food
Don't crap in the toilet
Hate baths

[Big Dog]

Evidently she's never run into UGP high on pineapple juice.

Cindie

UGP, 2012= Honey Boo Boo, 2037.

[RobJohnson]

Anyway, one hopes--probably in vain--the Las Vegas Leviathan is at the computer logged on to the Nevada Job Service site.

 

[RobJohnson]

 

Calis?  Just say calico's. 

I thought Calis were my brainwashed friends from California.

[JakeStyle]

What I took from this: It's hard to play World of Warcraft when a cat is humping your arm.

[Carl]

Systematic Chaos (7,744 posts)   Mon Sep 17, 2012, 10:40 PM

3. They're not?

Tell that to our Calis, who insists on being up on the table right next to me all damn day long, making sitting on my fat ass at the computer wasting my poor wifes hard earned money playing games difficult to say the least.

Fixed it for ya Kirk,you worthless mountain of shit. 

[AprilRazz]

That's funny....I thought libs would love cats. They have so much in common.

They both:
Are aloof
Sleep all day
Don't hang around you unless they want food
Don't crap in the toilet
Hate baths

Yes but unlike libs they are actually useful. Any rodent or bug that gets into the house is quickly caught and dispatched.

[franksolich]

Yes but unlike libs they are actually useful. Any rodent or bug that gets into the house is quickly caught and dispatched.

I'm kind of wondering if the Las Vegas Leviathan doesn't have cats as livestock, to satiate his gluttonous appetite when his food stamps run out.  I can see him eating the entrails and fur, even.

[Ballygrl]

ohnoyoudidnt (312 posts)   Mon Sep 17, 2012, 10:37 PM

Why are cats assholes?

I come home from vacation and my dog is like OMG You're back! YAY WOLF WOLF WOLF WOLF jumping up and down on me, but my cat glares at me from across the room as if to say **** you, asshole.

My Aunt always said that dogs look up to man and cats look down to man.

[AprilRazz]

My Aunt always said that dogs look up to man and cats look down to man.

A dog looks at it's owner and thinks, you feed me, play with me and take care of me. You must be a god!
A cat thinks, you feed me, play with me and take care of me. I must be a god.

[Ballygrl]

A dog looks at it's owner and thinks, you feed me, play with me and take care of me. You must be a god!
A cat thinks, you feed me, play with me and take care of me. I must be a god.

Yep!

I'm allergic to cats so I'm a dog person.

[franksolich]

My Aunt always said that dogs look up to man and cats look down to man.

I dunno, though.  I think it depends upon the owner.

<<cats here think franksolich is god.

I'm picking up a new one in the big city tomorrow (Sunday) afternoon. male, two years old, and for a cat, Las Vegas Leviathan sized, enormous.

I dunno how the other four cats here--Abbie, Snow, Harold, and Ellie--will get along with him, but we'll see.

Unlike the Las Vegas Leviathan though, who keeps five cats in a stinking suffocating fetid near-windowless dark inner-city apartment, there's plenty of room and "space" for cats here, both inside the house and in the Great Outdoors, far from any streets and automotive traffic.

I think primitives should be banned from owning any sorts of animal lives; they don't know how to take care of pets.

[vesta111]

I think primitives should be banned from owning any sorts of animal lives; they don't know how to take care of pets. [Quote from Frank]


Dear heavens, these folk do not know how to care for their own children if allowed to be born and then all too often dispatch them when the become a problem after 5-6 years.

Cats, it all depends on the individual cat, all have different personality's and can amaze us at times.  Cats are one of the few animals that be they weigh 5 pounds or 200 keep the same instinct.   

Had a rescue cat that decided the kids were her baby's.   She waited at the front door and walked with the kids to the bus stop.  She knew when the kids were due to come home, left the house and met them and escorted them home.

Had another Siamese that just wandered about the house, a eating and shitting machine until the night a neighbors husband, drunk as a skunk came with out knocking into our house.   He had just received his Chief hat and had his uniform on backward.

He kind of fell onto the sofa and that cat sat in front of him and just stared at him.   Gave him the Willey's and he left  when I called his wife to come get him.

Cats are odd, one learns what to not do with a cat from the time they are baby's.   No difference between a tiger cub and a house cat baby. There instinct is the same, to hunt and kill.

I had one cat that terrorized my Rottweiler, for no reason she would stalk that poor 100 pound dog and them plant her body on his face. screaming like a Siamese in heat.   Dog would run about the house knocking everything over with Hubby chasing them with a broom trying to knock the stupid psychotic cat off the dogs face.     Ahhhhh those were the days.

Today I have 2 mellow cats, both Maine coon and huge, Hubby told a neighbor I am the only woman on the block with a 25 pound *****---cat.

[Mr Mannn]

Mr Mannn's Translation Service

Systematic Chaos (7,744 posts)   Mon Sep 17, 2012, 10:40 PM

3. They're not?

Tell that to our Calis, who insist on calling the State Health commission and reporting earwig outbreaks!

That is one breed I will NOT own...

[docstew]

My Aunt always said that dogs look up to man and cats look down to man.

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff.

[GOBUCKS]

Mr Mannn's Translation ServiceThat is one breed I will NOT own...

For the longest time, I didn't know housecats came in "breeds" - except for Siamese.

Cats are just cats. Shorthaired, longhaired, black, gray, spotted.

I'm sure I had graduated from college before I ever heard of someone actually paying money for a cat.

It still kind of makes me shake my head.

[franksolich]

Cats are just cats. Shorthaired, longhaired, black, gray, spotted.

I'm sure I had graduated from college before I ever heard of someone actually paying money for a cat.

It still kind of makes me shake my head.

Yeah, me too.

Cats are cats.

[debk]

Our cats are usually nearby wherever we are. They sleep with us. Greet us at the door when we come in. If they can lie on us and sleep, they are quite happy. They have distinct personalities and are not the least aloof with us, though they are terrified of strangers and will hide if the doorbell rings, until they know who enters.

However, if we leave them for more than a few hours....they are not happy.

We had one (she was 17 when she died) that was my daughter's "owner", who retaliated when left. When my daughter would spend the night away, Tabitha would either throw up next to her bed so Jess would see it when she got home, or wait until after Jess got back, went to sleep and would leave it so Jess would step in it when she got out of bed. When we would be gone overnight, she wouldn't throw up next to the bed, she would do it right outside our bathroom door, so she'd be sure that one of us would step in it. She got sneaky though...she  also made sure to hit the 2nd or 3rd step from the top of the stairs, so we'd hit it going down the stairs in the morning. 

[GOBUCKS]

 

When my daughter would spend the night away, Tabitha would either throw up next to her bed so Jess would see it when she got home, or wait until after Jess got back, went to sleep and would leave it so Jess would step in it when she got out of bed. When we would be gone overnight, she wouldn't throw up next to the bed, she would do it right outside our bathroom door, so she'd be sure that one of us would step in it. She got sneaky though...she  also made sure to hit the 2nd or 3rd step from the top of the stairs, so we'd hit it going down the stairs in the morning.

Years ago, we had a cat that took to throwing up.

It lived out the rest of its days, such as they were, at the pound.

[Jasonw560]

Our cats are usually nearby wherever we are. They sleep with us. Greet us at the door when we come in. If they can lie on us and sleep, they are quite happy. They have distinct personalities and are not the least aloof with us, though they are terrified of strangers and will hide if the doorbell rings, until they know who enters.

However, if we leave them for more than a few hours....they are not happy.

We had one (she was 17 when she died) that was my daughter's "owner", who retaliated when left. When my daughter would spend the night away, Tabitha would either throw up next to her bed so Jess would see it when she got home, or wait until after Jess got back, went to sleep and would leave it so Jess would step in it when she got out of bed. When we would be gone overnight, she wouldn't throw up next to the bed, she would do it right outside our bathroom door, so she'd be sure that one of us would step in it. She got sneaky though...she  also made sure to hit the 2nd or 3rd step from the top of the stairs, so we'd hit it going down the stairs in the morning. 

Our cat crapped once on the sofa and once on our bed after we'd gone out of town a couple of times.

Now, the cat stays out for a day or two after we get back, until he's forgiven us.