http://www.democraticunderground.com/1237300Oh my.
From the lonely forum on Skins's island; as one can tell from the dates on this, the campfire at the top of the page, there's not much action among the loner primitives.
dixiegrrrrl (26,269 posts) Wed Mar 14, 2012, 08:52 PM
How do you manage to get enough "alone time" in a relationship?
us introverts DO manage to have relationships, yes indeed.
What works for you in terms of getting enough solitude/distance/privacy, etc?
or
what is not working?
How do/can you balance the sharing-togetherness glue of a relationship with the vitally needed space and alone time?
I am lucky in that Mr. dixie and I both seem to need the same balance, which is to say that we spend most of the day apart from each other, much as we did when we were both working outside the home, but the fears of retirement being too confining never materialized, since we actually found a house that allows for "half mine, half yours" space!Close enough to holler if we need each other, far enough apart that our music and movies and putter time is not distrubed.
cbayer (111,536 posts) Wed Mar 14, 2012, 09:19 PM
1. Great question.
I share a very small space (43 foot boat) with my husband. We both work from home, but have found some good ways to do this.
I need a significant amount of alone time, and he doesn't mind.
We each have spaces that are pretty much ours. We don't interact very much during the day and he does go to shore at least once a day and visits friends wherever we are.
In the evening, we share dinner and spend the rest of the evening doing something together - watch a movie, play cards or just talk.
People are amazed at how we manage in such a small space, but we do.
It helps that we really like each other.
Ooops.
franksolich is now officially out of love with the cbayer primitive.
I'm sorry, but a 43-foot boat would
almost fit in the living room here, and
two people?
I suspect the cbayer primitive and franksolich would have grievous territorial problems, so forget it.
dixiegrrrrl (26,269 posts) Wed Mar 14, 2012, 09:37 PM
2. I think we have kinda been focusing on "loners" more as people along the whole spectrum of defining "loner".
In my working life, I used to give lectures to hundreds of people at a time, work with groups every day, spend hours in meetings and surrounded by staff.
In my non-working life, I preferred to be alone, every weekend when I could.
and in retirement, I fill the car up every 3 months...never go anywhere if I can help it.
We arranged our retirement so we can stay home all the time, which is where we are happiest, and find prolonged people contact uncomfortable.
Of course, on DU and the web, we all have a choice of how much interaction, when , we want. that suits me fine.
Where is your boat, if I may ask?
I think the idea of living on a boat has crossed a lot of people's mind at least once.
cbayer (111,536 posts) Wed Mar 14, 2012, 09:41 PM
3. My story is essentially the same as you.
I was surrounded by people up to 16 hours a day, 5 - 7 days a week. And I was in charge most of the time, so could not choose to not interact.
The boat has been my salvation, as I get to choose when to interact (which is not that often, but I really enjoy it when I do).
My boat is not in one location. We move around alot off the coast of Southern California. It's great, because if drama (or boredom or weather) kicks in, we just move. It's a great way to live. We are off the grid, very self sufficient and blissfully happy.
dixiegrrrrl (26,269 posts) Wed Mar 14, 2012, 10:13 PM
4. Sounds great.
Really like the way you managed to get space needs met in a such a small....well, space.
Quite a challenge.
there are days when not having 2 acres of land and garden and chickens and pets would be bliss.
^^the primitive's bragging about her spread and livestock, really.
cbayer (111,536 posts) Wed Mar 14, 2012, 10:27 PM
5. Things I miss
A garden. I do grow tomatoes and basil in the summer, but I used to have a huge garden.
A bathtub.
Ability to entertain more than 4 people at a time (though this, I must admit, I have mixed feelings about).
I do not miss pets... at all.
