It's because you can't fit that much common sense and patriotic awesomeness in a paltry 3 days.
I get a feeling the DNC will really last one day. Biden will say something stupid the day before, all the speakers back out, the delegates show up at 9 am, ask "Does anyone else want the job?" and when they say no, they halfheartedly nominate Zero and Bidet, then get back to their hotel rooms in time for a new episode of Jerry Springer a 11:00.