Author Topic: New books and men and boys  (Read 1287 times)

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Offline DixieBelle

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New books and men and boys
« on: May 22, 2008, 07:38:49 PM »
A reader (thanks!) let me know about a new book by columnist Kathleen Parker that is coming out soon entitled Save the Males: Why Men Matter Why Women Should Care. It is being published by Random House and here is the synopsis at Amazon:

Tell a woman we need to save the males and she’ll give you the name of her shrink. But cultural provocateur Kathleen Parker, who was raised by her father and who mothered a pack of boys, makes a humorous case for rescuing the allegedly stronger sex from trends that portend man’s cultural demise.

Save the Males is a shrewd, amusing, and sure-to-be-controversial look at how men, maleness, and fatherhood have been under siege in American culture for decades. Kathleen Parker argues that the feminist movement veered off course from it’s original aim of helping women achieve equality and ended up making enemies of men. With piercing wit, this nationally syndicated columnist shows us how the pendulum has swung from the reasonable middle to a place where men have been ridiculed in the public square and the importance of fatherhood has been diminished–all to the detriment of women, who ultimately suffer most.

Sounds interesting--but I must add that I find it somewhat disturbing that ultimately the premise of the book (I am inferring this from the title and the above summary) is about the effect of men's cultural demise on....women. Yes, I know that focusing on women is the only way to sell books but if I had my way (or I was not so darn lazy), I would write a book that focused on the effect of the male bashing culture on----surprise!....men. How do actual men feel about it, what do they think, how does it affect them personally and their sons?

Which brings me to a good book I am in the process of reading that came in the mail (for Glenn but I took it) entitled Boys Should Be Boys: 7 Secrets to Raising Healthy Sons.

Author Meg Meeker, a pediatrician, exposes a number of shocking statistics about the state of boyhood in America such as:

ADHD is diagnosed seven times as often in boys as it is in girls:

Only 65 percent of boys graduate from high school, much lower than the graduation rate for girls;

29 percent of boys admit to drinking alcohol before the age of thirteen...

I had no idea these were shocking stats, I thought they were common knowledge. Anyway, this particular book looks informative; there is a chapter on "The Difference a Dad Makes" that talks about the importance a father plays in a boy's life. A section on "Self Control" makes an important point by forensic psychologist Shawn Johnston:

The research is absolutely clear...the one human being most capable of curbing the anti-social aggression of a boy is his biological father.

Dads definitely teach boys how to channel aggression and deal with emotions of anger and frustration. But more importantly, Dads teach boys that they matter, and that they can grow up to be successful men.
http://drhelen.blogspot.com/2008/05/new-books-on-men-and-boys.html
Timely considering another thread topic from today.
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Offline MrsSmith

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Re: New books and men and boys
« Reply #1 on: May 22, 2008, 07:58:50 PM »
In almost every area, men are under attack and boys are being "fed to the wolves."  All through school, boys are treated like girls, are drugged so they'll act like girls, and are far more likely to grow up illiterate.  Every "new" teaching idea is about team-learning, never mind the simple fact that boys learn better when competing.  Then, when they grow up, they're told that they aren't really necessary for their kids, they're the stupid half of their marriage, and if their wife decides to file for divorce, they have the "privilege" of paying child support until the child they never see is 18 or 21 or older...and they get to pay for the wife's lawyer, too.   :censored:
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Offline DumbAss Tanker

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Re: New books and men and boys
« Reply #2 on: May 22, 2008, 10:51:27 PM »
In almost every area, men are under attack and boys are being "fed to the wolves."  All through school, boys are treated like girls, are drugged so they'll act like girls, and are far more likely to grow up illiterate.  Every "new" teaching idea is about team-learning, never mind the simple fact that boys learn better when competing.  Then, when they grow up, they're told that they aren't really necessary for their kids, they're the stupid half of their marriage, and if their wife decides to file for divorce, they have the "privilege" of paying child support until the child they never see is 18 or 21 or older...and they get to pay for the wife's lawyer, too.   :censored:

All too true, and I suspect there may even be a correlation to why we still have so many outrageously selfish crimes of violence (the vast majority by men) against spouses and children, despite all the huggy acculturation in schools and horrified press coverage after each one, as it is possible that all too many men simply see every hand turned against them and nothing but their own inevitable destruction when their relationships fail, and resort to counsels of desperation and irrational viotence.  I abhor such acts, but I can't help wondering if we are actually fostering them in building systems that seem designed to only assist the women, and that at the expense of the men.
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