Some 4 1/2 years ago, in the midst of finding a new place to inhabit (infest?) after realizing that the Internet was in fact not going to make me independently wealthy, stunningly handsome, well hung, or of superior acumen, I came across this place. Although to be fair, I've got three of the four qualities already, and am working on the other. So in the interest of maintaining my pathological need to impart my opinion or stated facts on a nearly nadin-esque breadth of subject matter, I joined here.
Good thing I never asked to be humble. How boring would that be?
In the meantime, I've been lauded, bitched out, called a coward, a hero, an asshole, a funny guy, a troll, mole, dupe, standard bearer, and all-around smartass. I am all of these things, and more. People here come and go, trolls mostly go, but still I remain, to the dismay of mods who wish I would say something so over the top they could kick me to the curb once and for all. I have no "Internet persona." WYSIWYG, to use the acronym as one should never do in writing lest your slack-jawed readership not have even the most rudimentary knowledge of words, letters, shit like that.
I've been told I cuss too much. **** that, says I. I'm a sailor, it's what I DO. Well, not around the kids, anyway--or at least I try my damndest not to. For all those that claim cursing is the crutch of the inarticulate mother****er, my reply to them is that sometimes a little four-letter reparte is not only refreshing, but puts the cherry on top of the nuts I just crushed when some troll decides that spewing talking points rather than debate and discuss is their raison d'etre.
Piss me off at your peril. If I'm wrong, I'll admit it, but I think my track record has shown I'm batting well above the Mendoza Line. Could I be less arrogant? Sure--but then I wouldn't be me (see above.) I'm no Dave Barry or Hunter S. Thompson (and thank God for that, he's still dead) but I'm no slack-jawed DUmmy either. So, as I start the next 20,000 posts, I leave you with this final thought:
You wanna see what I bring to the party?