I know someone posted this before but it belongs in this thread!
Democratic National Convention Schedule
4:00 PM - Opening Flag Burning Ceremony
4:05 PM - Singing of "God Damn America" led by Rev. Jeremiah Wright
4:10 PM - Pledge of Allegiance to Obama
4:15 PM - Ceremonial 'I hate America' led by Michelle Obama
4:30 PM - Tips on Dodging Sniper Fire - Hillary Clinton
4:45 PM -Al Sharpton Leads Castrati Choir in Singing "Great Balls of Fire"
5:00 PM - UFO Abduction Survival - Joe Biden
5:30 PM - Eliot Spitzer Speaks on "Family Values" via Satellite
5:45 PM - Tribute to All 57 States
6:00 PM - Joe Biden Delivers 100,000-Word Speech Featuring 23-Minute Question and 2-Hour Answer
8:30 PM - Airing of Grievances by the Clintons
9:00 PM - Bill Clinton Delivers Rousing Endorsement of Obama Girl
9:15 PM - Tribute Film to Freedom Fighters at Gitmo - Michael Moore
9:45 PM - Personal Finance Seminar - Charlie Rangle
10:00 PM - Denunciation of Bitter Gun Owners
10:30 PM - Ceremonial Waving of White Flag for IRAQ, & Afghanistan
11:00 PM - Obama Energy Plan Symposium/Tire Gauge Demonstration
11:15 PM - Free Gov. Blagowitcz rally
11:30 PM - Obama Accepts Tony and Latin Grammy Awards
11:45 PM - Feeding of the Delegates with 5 Loaves and 2 Fish - Obama Presiding
12:00 AM - Official Nomination of Obama by Bill Mahre
12:01 AM - Obama Accepts Nomination as Lord and Savior
12:05 AM - Celestial Choirs Sing
3:00 AM - Biden Delivers Acceptance Speech
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OPTION: Closing with a Declaration of War on the rich
To be decided just before the Convention